Benji

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I have pineapples! I have strawberry!

I have grapes! I have grapefruit!

Hey!

We had a plan, Carter,

and you done goofed it.

The plan's still on.

The plan was for you to get me B's.

I just want what's best for you.

You know when the last time

I got an A was?

Okay, I'll act more stupid next time.

Completely moronic and idiotic.

Beyond obtuse.

Yeah. Totally. That's

what I'm talking about.

You making fun of me?

You're dead this time, Carter.

What the...

Hey! You go on now, little mutt.

Go on. Go on, dog. I'll turn you

into a hot dog. Now, go on.

I have grapefruit!

I have pineapples! I have strawberries!

Thank you very much.

Have a nice day. Be careful with the cars.

You, too.

Hey.

There you are.

You're late. Again.

Come on. I wanna go to Sam's.

I was practicing for my recital.

I'm gonna do five pirouettes

all on my own.

That's cool, Frankie.

And I'm gonna dance in New York,

in Swan Lake, and be crazy famous.

But I'll still talk to you.

Why wouldn't you talk to me?

Because famous people

are always stuck up.

I am not.

And I'm gonna wear my boots

to do my pirouettes.

Good luck with that.

Hey. You are coming, right?

Yeah, sure.

If you don't come and Mom has to work,

nobody will be there.

You'll be great.

I'll be there, Frankie.

I promise.

That is if I invite you.

The tickets are

for very important people only.

Come on, let's get in the street car.

No, we can't!

You're the one who wanted to go to Sam's.

Wait, Frankie.

I wanna walk.

It'll be fine. Come on.

[band playing

"When The Saints Go Marching In"]

Why do you have strawberries?

What are you talking about?

I saw you have strawberries

in your pocket in the car.

I don't have any strawberries.

I saw something red and green.

I don't have any strawberries

in my pocket.

Well, it smeared on the chair

and you didn't wipe it up.

What do you mean

you don't believe me?

You're gonna fly to Paris

to dance?

Not gonna happen.

It will happen. I know it.

You know you need to punch PigFace

in the face, right?

Frankie... I don't care.

He'll bully you your whole life.

I'm not gonna fight back.

I'd lose.

Why are we going here again?

It's just a waste of time.

Because you never know,

it could change sometimes.

Maybe he's in a good mood today.

In your dreams.

Hi, Mr. King.

We're here for the watch.

$4 and 26, 27, 28 cents.

That brings the total to $34 and 18...

No, 19 cents.

Not bad, am I right?

Oh, you don't even wanna know.

Mr. King,

we've been coming here

twice a week for a long time.

You can at least take the watch out

of the "For Sale" case.

Please. He meant to say please.

I take it out of the case, people can't see

it. People can't see it, people can't buy it.

But we're gonna buy it. Eventually.

Listen, I told both of you when we

started this whole cockamamieness,

that if somebody wants the watch,

I'll let you know.

Give you a chance to buy it first.

Yeah, but we should have

There's no buts.

When I bought it from your mother,

I paid her good money.

This is a business. Barely, but it is.

Mr. King, I promise you'll get money.

We're at, like, $34 and 19 cents.

Old.

A hundred?

You're not really helping your case.

The point is, at this rate, you guys

will be bringing my money to the cemetery.

I don't like the cemetery.

Listen, a guy came in, he liked the watch.

I told him it ran slow.

It doesn't run slow.

My father kept it in perfect condition,

and you know that.

The point is, pudding head,

he's not wearing it, is he?

Oh...

Mr. King, of all the people

I don't like in this world,

I like you the best.

You and every other woman in my life.

Now, you two, get out of here.

We're just gonna keep coming back.

Yeah, like a rash.

See ya tomorrow.

Take care.

That was a waste of time.

No, it wasn't. We added more money.

Next time, it'll be less money

that we have to add.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You've been giving Mr. King

your lunch money. I know you have.

Maybe I wouldn't have to

if Mom hadn't sold Dad's watch.

Lots of things aren't very good in life.

Get used to it.

You get used to being grounded forever

or longer when Mom finds out.

I was here first.

I'm older, so it doesn't matter.

I'm always first.

Mom doesn't like it when you double dip.

Mom's not here, so if you just shut

your mouth for once, you'll be fine.

Fine. I can keep my mouth shut

so much that I'll never talk to you

for all the time in all the universes

in all the world.

Thank goodness.

Carter...

Carter can't come to the phone right now.

Please don't leave a message

after the beep. Beep!

Just look!

If you are satisfied with your message,

please press "1" or hang up.

Carter, just listen to me!

What?

No way.

I can't believe it.

How did you even get up here?

You know this dog?

I was trying to get him

to follow us home from school.

I knew you were doing something not good.

Come on. Good boy.

Come here. Good boy.

He's a stray.

Where did you come from?

A trash can?

He smells worse

than your side of the room.

You're right. Let's fix it.

"I love my dog as much as I love you"

"But you may fade

My dog will always come through"

"All the pay I need

Comes shining through his eyes"

"I don't need no cold water

To make me realize"

"That I love my dog

As much as I love you"

"But you may fade

My dog will always come through"

Carter, what are we gonna do about Mom?

What about her?

She's gonna freak out.

You asked for a bulldog for Christmas,

and you got a stuffed animal.

Which is why we're not gonna tell her.

He's just gonna stay in our room for now.

Where's he gonna pee and poo?

In your bed? Carter!

Just until I can convince her.

It's Mom. We'll never convince her.

Like, ever.

Oh, crap.

Oh, no.

Hey, hey!

Where are my two favorite people

that help Mom out?

Hey, Mom.

Hi, Mommy!

You're the best mommy of all the mommies

in all the world!

Definitely, you're the best.

Aw...

What'd you break?

Nothing.

So there were

four accidents today. Four!

I was driving the ambulance

80 miles per hour.

That's a lot, Mom.

Forks on the left, hon.

It will be.

Here you go, Madame. Mushrooms on top. How about you,

Mr. Man. Anything exciting happen at school today?

PigFace happened.

Your death is about to happen.

Again? That's the third time.

Okay, that's it. I'm calling the school.

Don't blow this up

like you blow everything up.

I'm not blowing anything up.

I wanna know who this kid is.

I told you, PigFace.

Tell me the truth.

Carter, just

You don't wanna know the truth.

No.

Straight up, Carter.

No.

'Cause if you are,

that's nothing...

Go.

To be ashamed of.

Just let me help you.

No. No.

Here you go. No mushrooms.

Um, actually,

can I have mushrooms, please?

You hate mushrooms.

But taste buds change every seven years.

That's a scientific fact.

He's right. Very, very right.

Mushrooms.

Okay.

I'm just worried about you, Carter.

You're worried about everything.

That is not true.

Okay, maybe that is a little bit true.

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