Big Momma's House
- PG-13
- Year:
- 2000
- 99 min
- $492,734
- 3,483 Views
Ready?
FBI.
- Throw that piece of sh*t in there.|- No, wait.
Sit down and shut up, you old fool.
Ten thousand.
- On... bug-eye boy.|- What?!
Big balls, huh? Big cojones, huh?
- I'll take that bet.|- Ready? And fight!
Y'all never heard of Soul, Korea?
- FBl! Everybody freeze.|- Don't move.
- John!|- A little help down here, please?
No doubt. Are you all right?
I'm just takin' a bath|with Old Yeller down here.
Could you open the cage? I'm a married man.|I'm not used to this much attention.
Satellite TV and a six-pack|do not a full life make.
You gotta understand. I'm not like you.
On the street, I gotta keep it simple.
You know what I mean? I can't have|a family and home out there distracting me.
That's funny.|I couldn't be out there without it.
OK. We've got a live one, people.|Conference room in five.
Oh, Malcolm. Didn't recognise you|with the make-up off. Got the Michaels file?
- Got it.|- Good. Bring it here.
I'm just sayin', on the street I can't have|no distractions. I gotta be ready for anything.
- Nice.|- You too grown for this sh*t, man.
A prison escape leaves one man dead.
Lester Vesco,|serving a life sentence formurder,
has escapedfrom a federalpenitentiary.
He is seen here on security cameras|robbing the Century Union Bank.
- Vesco is extremely dangerous.|- Oh, my God.
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
You know, how would you like|to go on a little vacation?
- I don't know. We've never been on one.|- How fast can you get ready?
Ready.
Well, you look ready to me.
Grab your medicine.
Got your seat belt on?
- Yup.|- Let's roll.
Lester Vesco. Not a nice man, people.
Two years ago, he robbed a bank,|popped a guard and the bank manager
and walked out with two million|in cash and bearer bonds.
We got him, but the money|was never recovered.
Twelve hours ago, he killed a prison doctor
and drove out the front gate|in the man's Volvo. Very creative.
- What about the girl from the robbery?|- Lester's girlfriend. Sherry Pierce.
Never convicted. Worked in the bank.
So she gives him access to the vault,
cries on the stand|and walks away with two million large.
Exactly. But we never proved it.
She's pretty smart.|Keeps a low profile, works two shitjobs.
Now it looks like she's in the wind.
So we find her,|we find Lester, we find the money.
- What about this stepbrother in Oakland?|- You and Gallagher take it.
- Get some warrants. Set up a surveillance.|- Great. Malcolm and I can stay here
and hit the phones.
No, no, I've got something special|planned for you two.
Sherry's got a long-lost grandmother|in Cartersville, Georgia.
And who knows, Malcolm? Maybe you'll find|an Armani outlet - by the Piggly Wiggly.
That's all, people.
- There's Big Momma.|- What a classic scene.
Genteel old lady, pruning her roses.
Lord, I done told Sadie about this dog.
Let me catch you here again|and I'll barbecue some hot dog!
- Got it.|- You know what, man?
Erskine and Stoner probably caught|that girl Sherry two days ago.
They just wanted us to sit here|pickin' ticks off our asses.
Nobody's tried to kill you for days.|The stress must be overwhelming.
I'm just here to catch a bad guy.|If it goes down hard, so be it.
If we could get in to plant the surveillance|equipment, we wouldn't be stuck here.
Hey, what do we have here?
Must be one ofthose Southern traditions.|Exchanging baked goods in the street.
Nah, you bring them over.|That's how you meet the new neighbours.
Oh, man.
- Where are you going?|- While she's out, I'll set the surveillance.
Stall 'em.
- Malcolm!|- Four and a half minutes.
- Well, how-dee, ladies.|- Hello, neighbour.
Welcome to Maple Drive.|We hope you will come to love...
Oh, shut up and give the man|your dry old Bundt cake so I can go home.
You'll have to excuse Hattie Mae.|Her stomach's not feelin' too good.
I'm Miss Patterson
and this is Miss Other Patterson.
We call her that because she's from|a whole different set of Pattersons.
- My name's John.|- John what?
- Patterson! lsn't that a weird coincidence?|- Yes, it is.
Maybe we're all related.
I used to be married, but not any more.
Oh, Lord. Is she with Jesus?
No. Actually, Jesus,|I think, is how he pronounces it.
He was the gardener.
I caught him spreadin' fertiliser|in the bedroom, ifyou know what I mean.
'Scuse me, honey.|Here's your corn bread. I got to go.
No, you can't! Ladies, it was really a pleasure.
Wait. You can't leave.
Where's this great Southern hospitality I've|heard about, Hattie Mae? lf I can call you that.
I was hoping we could sit in the front porch|and shuck corn, shoot squirrels...
Boy, you ain't right. Did somebody|hook you up to ajumper cable?
When I say I got to go, move - I got to go.
Wait!
I'm not crazy, just a little lonely.|We could spend some quality time together.
Say, you know what I do|when I have an upset stomach?
I jog. Yes! Come on!
It's good when you got the runs.|Come on, me and you around the block.
Listen, either I can go around you, or|I can go through you. Whichever you decide.
Fine.
Sh*t!
- You cannot go in there.|- You're sayin' I can't go in my own house?
No, I'm telling you, you cannot go in there|without giving me a big
Southern welcome.
That's it. A little sugar on it.
If you want a second helping, let me know.
- Cos I got two knees!|- No, I'm good. God bless ya.
- Cos I got to go.|- Yeah. Thanks for the corn bread.
Jesus, let me just make it to the bathroom|before I lose my bowels all over myself.
Jesus.
Will I make it?
Have mercy, Lord.
Those stewed prunes!
They just goin' right straight through me.
I done seen a lot of scary sh*t in my day,
but damn - that was a lotta ass.
I think I need a splint or somethin'.
Just... I'll be all right.
"Dr Green. Wilshire Paediatrics."
Here we go.
God.
Miss it. Miss it.
Think you can throw me off my sh*t?
I'm in the zone.
100 dollars. Come on.
- That sh*t don't count.|- What do you mean?
- You were in my grill.|- 100 bucks, man.
Who could be callin' her at this time of night?
Trussy! Howya do...
Oh, Lord. William's in the hospitalagain?
I'll be there. I'm prepared.|I can staya week or two weeks...
She's leavin', man. Now's our chance|to tap the phones. Come on.
- Driver, please get me to the bus station.|- Yes, ma'am.
I gotta go and help my friend out|for a couple ofweeks.
Over here.
Jesus!
Back up off me.
- Sorry.|- Hello. This is Hattie Mae Pierce.
Go on, leave me a little message. As soon as|I getback, I'll give you a shout. Godbless.
Big Momma? It's Sherry.
Surprised, huh?
Listen, I was taking a little vacation
and I was headed in your direction,
and I thought maybe I'd stop in and check|on you since I haven't seen you in a while.
But itlooks like you're nothome,|so I'll see you on the next trip.
No!
- We lost her.|- No! Look...
And, Big Momma, I just want you to know...
I knowit's been a long time|since we've talked, but...
I really do love you|and miss you verymuch.
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