Big Momma's House 2 Page #3

and gone to the Ritz- Carlton.

Oh, I am so glad you like it.

Okay, well, why don't

you just settle in...

- And well get started first thing in the morning?

- All right.

I'm so happy you're here, Big Momma. And

I know Mr. Fuller's gonna like you too.

- Oh, he's gonna love me.

- Let me know if you need anything.

Yes!

Time to go to work.

Copying files.

Hey, baby.

I got worried when you

didn't call. How's Phoenix?

Oh, Phoenix? The convention.

Well, what else did you think I was talking

about-Why are you whispering, Malcolm?

Oh, no, no. We just, uh...

...doing a lot of, you know,

safety chanting, baby.

You know, uh, 'Stop, drop

and roll. ' You know.

That McGruff is a freak.

Dog don't know when to quit.

Baby, this is kind of late.

Maybe you should get some sleep.

Oh, I know. I know, but I just

needed to hear your voice. I miss you.

Trent and I had dinner tonight, and I

must have eaten something too spicy...

- Because the baby's been kicking

like... Yeah, baby, I love you too.

Bye.

Ugh.

Oh. Where's everybody?

Oh.

Oh, climbing on the cabinets

is his latest accomplishment.

You okay, Andrew? Whoo.

Mr. Fuller, so nice to meet you.

I'm Hattie Mae Pierce, but

you can call me Big Momma.

It's great to meet you. My wife

has an early-morning meeting...

...and I am so late.

You leaving me alone with the kids?

Mr. Fuller! Mi-

Big Momma, I think Andrew

just ate a Brillo pad.

Andrew, no! Well, that's

one way to get your roughage.

- That means if we don't leave

right now, we're gonna be late.

Why don't your daddy take you to school?

Daddy says he has an important job

where important things happen...

...so he cant waste his

time with our nonsense.

Molly! We gotta go!

But, Big Momma, Mommy

didn't get me any breakfast.

Breakfast?

Okay, uh

- Oh. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah, there you go.

Oh.

All righty. Yes, indeedy.

Right. Like that there.

A hearty helping-All right?

Oh. Looks like somebody

got a note on the red peg.

Ooh, notes on red pegs

are really important.

You kiddin? This peg stuff is for real?

She wants me to do all this?

It is your job, Sheriff.

Girl, you got a mean streak in you...

...and God don't like ugly.

Now get in the car and

take your sister with you.

Sorry about that, Poncho!

You sure these aren't yours?

- How big do you think

I am? I'm just playin'...

But how in the hell did

these get under your bed?

I don't know. I don't know. But

Malcolm would never cheat on me.

Especially not with-

This is like four yards of lace.

Well, regardless, you cant just sit

back and hope nothin' is going on.

You gotta take action.

For a hundred dollars, I know

somebody that'll bug his phone.

No. No, absolutely not.

I would never bug Malcolm's phone.

- I completely trust my husband.

- Sherri, you are so naive.

You married an F.B.I. Agent.

I bet on your wedding night, he drugged you

and embedded a tracking device in your ass.

I don't have a tracking device.

Danielle, there's gotta be a perfectly

logical explanation for these.

A woman this big, wearing a thong?

That cant be comfortable.

Can it?

Ooh. Uh-oh. Ooh.

Big Momma got to be careful.

I lose control of this thong,

it could disappear for days.

Hi there. I'm Hattie Mae Pierce,

but you can call me Big Momma.

Everybody calls me Big Momma.

You wanna say hello, Andrew?

This here is Tom Fullers boy.

Fine. This is a secure facility, and I-

- Um- Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa. - Ooh. Uh-

Please, you don't know me like

that. You better ask somebody.

Let me set the baby down.

I don't wanna get him upset.

- Hold on.

- I'm, uh, gonna have to wand you.

Wand me? Well, wand on.

Find what you're lookin' for?

It-That-That's

under wire. Yeah.

Keepin' these fun bags off

the floor is a full-time job.

- You wanna see? I'll show you, yeah.

- No, ma'am.

- It's all right. You can take a little peeky peek.

- No, you can stop.

- No, ma'am. You can stop.

- But I'm not responsible for the damages.

- It might poke your eyes out. -

Please, stop it. Don't- Don't unbutton!

Eighteenth floor.

Ooh, thank you.

Ooh, all these guards and locked doors.

This must be what its like to get

in one of Oprah's private parties.

Yeah.

You know what, Ms. Pierce? Um, I'm afraid Mr.

Fuller has a meeting in the conference room...

...and I'm not allowed to disturb him.

- Okay, well, I'll

just wait in... Yeah.

Ooh. We got a gusher.

Oh, my goodness. Oh, this is the last

time I feed this boy pickled pigs feet.

You're going to change

his diaper right here?

Ah, yes, but don't worry.

I'll contain the seepage, okay?

I just hope your hard

drives are backed up.

Mr. Fuller has a bathroom in his office.

Okay, Andrew. That programs gotta

be hidin' up in here somewhere.

A remote, but no TV.

Open sesame.

We did an extensive check on Mr.

Fuller and didn't find anything.

Basically, we've got a small

army of agents working out there.

And because Agent Stone

blew a nanny interview...

...we got nothin:

Look, we gotta get

somebody on the inside.

Now, isn't there anybody close

to Fuller that we can turn?

No. We have tried everybody who has any

contact with anyone inside that house.

- We have exhausted the list.

- Wait a minute.

I know someone we haven't tried yet.

Because were coming up on our deadline,

and I need to know your status.

- Ooh, look. There's your daddy.

- I need to know if you're ready.

Look, I wouldn't have flown out here

if I wasn't ready. Now where's my money?

Don't worry about the

money. Where do we meet?

That's right. Give me somethin'...

Tonight, 7:
00, West Hills Mall.

- Where?

- The surf shop, dude.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- Someone in the building is logged on to our conference.

- You gotta be kidding me!

You guys are amateurs,

dude. I'm outta here.

- What happened?

- Someone was watching.

Wed better find out who that someone is.

Ooh, ooh. Comin through. 'Scuse me.

Comin through. Ooh.

I cleaned up in there

as much as possible.

Ooh. Mr. Fuller.

Andrew and I thought wed come

down and pay you a little visit.

Ain't that right, Andrew?

Hi, Son.

Ooh, well, were workin' on that

talkin' thing. Can you say Tupac?

Oh, hell get it. He'll get it.

Tom, is there a problem?

- No, this is, um...

Uh, Hattie Mae Pierce.

Hi. I take care of Tom Fullers babies.

Tom?

Ooh, look at the time. We gotta go.

Oh, yes, there we go.

Ooh, do me a favor, will

you? Hold that for me.

Thank you.

Get rid of that.

Did you have a good time today?

Huh?

Big Mommas tryin' to fix this.

F.B.I.

Sorry, ma'am. I'm gonna have to ask

you to step inside the van, please.

Don't push me. You don't

know me, monkey mouth.

I- I-I'll

kick you.

Look, I-I can explain.

Ms. Pierce, I am so sorry

for the inconvenience.

Can I get you anything?

Look, if this is about...

...those butt-ball naked

pictures of Billy Dee...

...you gotta understand, that's Billy.

I just checked my e-mail. There he was.

I go, 'Ooh! Oooh!'

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