Big Momma's House 2 Page #4

And all I could say to myself was, 'll

got Billy! I got Billy! I got Billy!'

No. No, I, uh-

I can assure you-

Ms. Pierce, the F.B.I. is

investigating Tom Fuller.

Mr. Fuller? Have mercy.

Yes. And since you seem to have

such close access to the family...

...the fact is, we could

really use your help.

Well, what could Big Momma possibly-

I get it. You want me to take him out.

- No. No. -

Yeah. Uh- Uh?

- No. We just want you to keep an eye on him.

- Ah?

You know, have you seen or heard

anything out of the ordinary?

Uh, wait.

He seems to be getting outside help

on that big project he's working on.

But what's really important is...

...we need to find out

who he's working with.

Now, ma'am, do you think you

could find out that information?

Well, um.

Well, my m. O. would be

to stay close to the perps.

That way, I wont

compromise the assets...

...and I'll wait for the

intel to fall in my hands.

- Excuse me?

- Well, I mean...

...you watch enough Kojak,

you pick up a few things.

Don't worry. Big Momma

got that. I got it.

Good Lord, help em all.

Now, I know you got

somethin to say to that.

Nothin?

Well, well work on it.

- I think we should show em the sprinkler.

- Let's swing.

All right, from the top. Ready? Five, six...

Hey, you've reached

Malcolm, Sherri and Trent.

We cant take your call, but leave a

message, and we'll get back with you.

Hey, Sherri. It's me, baby.

You know, just thinkin about you-

Wanna give you a call from, uh

- From Phoenix.

Ow!

Okay, loser.

Wait

- Carrie! I gotta go, baby.

Oh.

...give you a call from, uh

- From Phoenix.

Wait. Carrie!

- Carrie?

- I gotta go, baby.

Carrie?

You

- You know, those girls got no room to talk.

- That ain't dancin'... -

And chass. And pump. And-

That's getting Tasered by the police.

Big Momma, I don't care about that.

I just

- I wanna be good, you know?

If I was good, then my

dad would come watch me...

...cause then it wouldn't be

nonsense and a waste of his time.

Child, you could dance like

all those skinny girls on MTV.

That wouldn't make your daddy stay home.

Now, he loves you. He just has

a helluva fine way of showin' it.

Now, you can do this little

cheerleading dance thing. I know you can.

But you need to do it for

yourself, not anybody else.

Stand up. Let me show you somethin.

Watch Big Momma. See?

Rock with it, baby. Rock with it.

Just feel it.

All try? All right.

Ready, now. To the right.

You gotta go right, baby. There you go.

No, no, not your leg. Bring your hip.

Bring your hip and

then you dip. Hip, dip.

Hip, dip. There you go,

Carrie! That's it, Carrie!

There go

- Now rock with it. Rock with it, Carrie.

Rock with it. Now dip, baby. Whoo!

Dip, dip, dip, baby.

- Whoo

- Hoo! There you go, Carrie.

- There you go, Carrie. Ooh.

- Okay, guys.

Um, girls, keep working. You look

great. Well be right back. Keep going.

- Ooh. Ooh.

- Um, excuse me?

- Can I help you?

- You can dance.

- So?

- We suck.

- Aw, come on. Were not that bad.

- Lisa, are you kidding?

We are flailing around like

a couple of stroke victims.

Okay, so maybe we could use a

little help with the dancing part...

...but I've got the stunts covered.

I was a gymnast.

Look, we really need your help.

We've got this competition coming up.

You want the girls to go

up on stage doing... That?

Ooh.

Well, as scary as that

is, I'm gonna have to pass.

- But, Big Momma.

- Don't you Big Momma me.

Now, I didn't cry during

Waiting to Exhale...

...and I'm certainly not gonna

fall for your puppy-dog eyes.

Now, this day is gettin' away

from me. We got to go, Carrie.

What do you say we practice at

your house tomorrow morning, Carrie?

- Good idea.

- Mmm.

Carrie?

He doesn't even know any-

F.B.I., Los Angeles.

Tassie?

- Sherri?

- Hey, girl. How you feeling?

- Oh, large.

Then I bet it feels good havin'

Malcolm home takin' care of you.

Putting in for two weeks off

to wait on you hand and foot?

I hope you know what

kind of man you got there.

I'm starting to get the picture.

Take your little brother in

there for me. I'll be right there.

What the hell you doing

sneaking around in bushes?

You cant take-

Chad? 19?

This girl up in here is 15.

Boy, you must be stuck on

stupid. This stops today.

- Oh, hey, Big Momma. I'm

just gonna check the mail.

That package you ordered

has just been sent back.

What? Oh, no. You've

gotta be kidding me.

Molly, boys that age

only want one thing...

...and it ain't meaningful conversation.

I don't have to listen to you.

Don't get snatched up. Now get

upstairs and finish your homework.

I got Mace.

What is going on? Did you

just threaten my daughter?

- Oh, that's no

threat. I do carry Mace.

Hey. Big Momma, I think we need to talk.

Good, Id love to. How

about 9:
00 in the morning?

- That's when I watch Regis.

- I don't think that it can wait.

If you had checked the peg

board, you would've seen...

...that Carrie had a violin

lesson and Andrew had tutoring.

Tutoring? The boys only two years old.

I want my children to be able to

seize every opportunity that they can.

And they might want to go

to Harvard. And if they do...

I want to make sure that

that is a possibility.

Andrew is jumpin' off the

cabinets, eatin' Brillo pads.

He's not goin' to Harvard. You can

get that out your head right now.

And besides, if you had noticed, there

was quite a bit of housework for you to do.

Yeah, I

- I been meanin' to talk to you about that.

Those red pegs, you might

wanna go easy on em, all right?

Now, if you'll excuse me,

Big Momma has an appointment.

- Well, what about dinner?

- I already ate, but thank you.

Uh, okay, this is Agent Keneally.

Please advise. I just made

B.M. in the back of a cab.

Uh, you did what in the back of the cab?

Big Momma! I just made B

- I saw Big Momma in the back of a cab.

And now I'm going to get V.D.

Visual data. I'm going

- Never mind.

This is where I need you to

carry me and make it snappy.

Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.

If you favor those eyes, I

suggest you keep em on the road.

Yes, ma'am.

- On the road.

- Yes, ma'am. Yeah.

Hello, Bob.

Sherri. You-You shouldn't

even be back here.

- Where is he?

- How could I possibly know?

Oh, come on, Bob. He's got a locator. Every

agent has one implanted in their phone.

That is a silly, outrageous-

- How did you know that?

- Bob...

I am eight-and-a-half-months

pregnant.

My feet are swollen, and

my back is killing me.

I have peed 52 times today, and you don't even

wanna know what's going on with my nipples.

- Can I at least guess?

- Bob, if you don't tell me where he is...

- Right

now... Okay.

Agent location, West Hills Mall.

- Agent location, West Hills Mall.

- Thanks, Bob.

- What's, um-What's a good place to go

surfing around here? - Oh, Huntington Beach.

- Really?

- Beautiful.

It's so gorgeous. Hey.

I'm sorry. I gotta go.

I've been walking around

for an hour looking for you.

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