Big Momma's House 2 Page #5

I was busy, if you hadn't noticed.

Very, very specific encrypted notation.

I'm not concerned about encryption.

Ooh.

Wife?

Been there.

Ooh.

Ooh!

Sherri? Baby-

- Where is she?

- Who?

Who's Carrie, Malcolm? No.

- Where is the Carrie girl?

- Baby, you got that all-

- No... Which one

of you is Carrie?

Baby.

Baby. Sherri.

- Is your name Carrie?

- No, baby. That's not no Carrie.

- You got it all wrong.

- Malcolm Turner, F.B.I.?

F.B.I.?

You're on a case. Malcolm, you promised.

Wanna explain these?

And you drag my Big Momma into this?

- I didn't drag no Big Momma into this.

- No, no. Just her breasts.

I don't think nobody's talkin' to you.

- Sherri. Come... Let her go. Now

we got something to talk about.

- I got Bishop.

- Where is he?

Right over-

He's right over-

- Wait-Where-

- Lets go.

Lets go. Knock it off.

- Aw.

- Um, Malcolm, what are these made off? Like a buckwheat husk?

This is him, right?

- Yeah.

He's a hacker. Goes

by the name of Bishop.

He's about as good as they get. There's

no question he could've pulled this off.

Are you sure you can

find this guy Bishop?

Cause right now he's our only lead.

Well, he was checkin' out board

shops. He's a surfer, all right.

There's no way he'd come to

Cali and not check out the waves.

I'm gonna find him. I'm

telling you. I'm gonna find him.

- Agent Keneally stays with you the whole time.

- Aw.

- He's your new partner.

- You've got to be kiddin'...

And, Turner, you blow your

cover and this worm gets out...

...you'll not only lose your job

- You're goin' to jail.

Oh, and do not blow

your cover as Big Momma.

- Ooh.

- Big Momma?

Mrs. Fuller, can we do

this some other time?

No, we cant.

I came home tonight, and

you were nowhere to be found.

The kids had not done their homework. I looked

around. There were dirty dishes everywhere.

And then I found this.

You threw our laundry in the garbage.

Big Momma, you don't wanna

cook, you don't wanna clean...

...and you obviously don't respect what

I'm trying to do with my children.

You mean keep em so busy that they don't realize

that you and your husband are never around?

Ooh. I didn't mean to say that.

I want you out of the house

first thing in the morning.

Mrs. Fuller?

But Mrs. Fuller?

Hey, baby. Just wanted

to leave you a message...

...tell you I'm sorry I lied...

...and I love you.

I hope you still want to hear that.

Oh. This feels good.

Huh?

Oh, Ponch, that's no

way for a dog to act.

I got somethin for you.

This'll help you get

over the wood chipper.

All right? Here's a

little sippy-sip for you.

Yeah. I'd have a drink with you...

...but I gotta go to work.

Yeah. Go on and get

your tilt on, all right?

- I know that you're busy.

- Yeah.

All I'm saying is I could

use a little bit of help.

If you could use a little bit

of help, why did you fire her?

Because I had to. I'm gonna call Mrs.

Gallagher first thing and get a new nanny.

Wow.

The muffins are fat-free,

the eggs are free-range...

...and the bacon is extra crispy.

- This is fantastic.

- Yeah, it looks like something out of a magazine.

I just couldn't leave y'all with a

bad taste in your mouth about Big Momma.

But if there's nothin' else...

I guess-

I guess I'll be movin' on.

Look, Big Momma even made Poncho happy!

Lord, that dogs higher

than a Georgia pine.

I gotta run. Great spread, Big Momma.

Oh, Mr. Fuller. Oh,

bye. I'll see you around.

You're a good man, Mr.

Fuller. You're a good man!

- Thank you. Thanks, Big Momma. Thank you. Thanks.

- Bye.

It's so hard to say good-bye.

Who is that at the door this early?

Mom, don't you remember? Allison

and Emily's mom had to go to work.

Oh, my gosh. Are all those

girls coming here today?

Look at em.

I was at their last practice.

I could stay and help.

It's no trouble.

Okay, we gotta work this

out. I need a volunteer.

Mrs. Fuller.

- Yes?

- You can be my volunteer.

Oh, gosh, Big Momma, there are

- There are things that I'm doing today.

Well, this'll only take a second.

Little ladies, where do you

think real dancing begins?

Your heart?

Well, good answer. But you

don't dance with your heart.

You dance with your butt!

Now, lets try this again.

What do we want, Mrs. Fuller?

Uh, more butt?

That's right. Try it with me.

Sway with your butt.

Groove with the butt.

Now, become one with the butt.

Don't be afraid to touch it

and become one with it! Yes!

All right! Whoo! Got butt movement

all back there. I like that.

All right. There you go, little ladies.

Now, lets put some music on, all right?

Ooh! Ooh!

That's my jam! Ooh!

There you go with it. I

like that. Groovin' with it.

Do your thing. That's right.

Do your thing, Mrs. Fuller!

Yes! Come on, Mrs. Fuller.

Whoo! Yes, indeedy! Just like that.

That's puttin' stank on

it. That's all that is.

Ooh. Ooh. Y'all wrap it up.

Wrap it up.

Ohh.

Oh, Big Momma, these girls

are having such a good time.

Look at Carrie. She's always so

quiet. She can't stop laughing.

Well, I always say, laughter is

Gods hand on a troubled world.

You know, Big Momma, I was hoping

that we could mend our fences.

I just wanted to say that

I'm very sorry. I was wrong.

And I was hoping you would

please consider staying here.

Well, of course I will.

Yes. Sure enough. Id love that.

Big Momma, the girls and I

want to go over the dance again.

Ooh, give me a second, all right?

Big Momma got to catch her breath.

Okay.

Oh, hey, when were done with this...

I have the perfect place to take you.

A spa! Look at this!

Victoria's Secret models. They shoot the

catalog in a studio right down the street.

They'll usually parade around naked.

If you think about it too much,

it can get a little depressing.

Some people just ruin it for everybody.

What time does the paradin' begin?

...and you can just take off all

your clothes and put this on.

I think you'll be very comfortable.

And then you just put

your things in this locker.

There's nothing else in

there but your things.

There's my friend Crystal. Excuse

me one second. Hey, Crystal.

- Hey.

- Hello. Hi.

Tryin' to find my locker.

Ooh. Around here somewhere.

Ooh. Oh. Ooh.

Excuse me. Could you give me

a hand, please, with my bra?

I just got my nails done, and I cant-

Here. It unhooks in

the front right here.

Here. Will this help?

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! This is lovely!

A room full of beautiful

women in towels and mud.

Hey, everybody, this is Big Momma.

- Hi.

- Oh, hello.

Ooh, don't let me disturb you. Y'all

just keep walkin' around naked...

...and massagin' each other

in exotic oils or whatever.

Oh, a snack.

- No, no, no, no.

- No, Big Momma. Those are for your eyes.

They're covered in eucalyptus sap.

Got it.

Oh. Hey, listen, I was

wondering. How about a massage?

Ahhh. I would like you to

work on my lower back here...

...because sometimes I-

Oh, my damn! No, I wanted

the girl with the perky-

The one with the perky

- You ain't got to push me.

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