Big Momma's House 2 Page #6

Synopsis: Undercover Agent Malcolm Turner is back and this time he's out to expose the suspected designer of a deadly computer "worm" that would allow outside forces access to sophistical and critical government intelligence files. But unfortunately, the only way the crafty agent can get next to the worm's creator, Tom Fuller, is to access the programmer's Orange County home as the new "nanny" to Fuller and his wife Leah's children: toddler Andrew and his two older sisters, Carrie and Molly. This means that Malcolm must once again rely on his sure-fire alter ego, the take-no-prisoners Hattie Mae Pierce, a.k.a. "Big Momma," to bring down the bad guys and prove that a woman's work is never done! But once undercover, the job proves another tough juggling act for Big Momma as "she" must manage the hectic lives of the three Fuller kids, keep up with their myriad of daily activities, and handle the many household chores, all while secretly trying to dig up information on Tom's computer virus. Of cours
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): John Whitesell
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 win & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.7
Metacritic:
34
Rotten Tomatoes:
6%
PG-13
Year:
2006
99 min
$70,121,252
Website
1,707 Views


Ooh! Oh! Yes!

I need you to get all in

the crevices, all right?

Work that lower back like

I was telling you. Ooh!

You know, while we've got her here,

we should get Big Momma's advice.

That is a great idea.

Big Momma, you were married for a

really long time. What was your secret?

Y'all want my advice?

Well, all right. Um-

My advice to you lovely ladies...

...on keepin' a long-lasting,

happy marriage...

...is to give it up.

That's right. Give it up

morning, noon and night.

- And twice on Saturday.

- What?

I did. Shoot, before he went to work...

...in a parkin' lot down

at the Dairy Queen...

...ooh, and one time I rocked

his world at a Popeye's.

Had him droolin' on the biscuits.

Oh, yeah. We got us a bangy-bang on.

- Really?

- Oh, yeah.

Ooh.

Ooh, that's hot. Oh,

that's hot, hot, hot.

Oh, no, that's damn hot. Hot!

Oh, that's way too hot.

Back burnin'! Back burnin'!

Ah! Oh, Lord! Back

burnin! Comin' through!

No! No! No! No!

Hmm.

Thank you, Mrs. Fuller.

- I had a good time,

except for those hot rocks.

Now, Big Momma got some

errands to run. I'll be back.

Oh, gosh, Big Momma. I've gotta go to the

office, and the carpet cleaners are coming.

I was hoping you could get the kids

out of the house for a few hours.

But I got things I got-

Who wants to go to the beach?

Mom'll never believe this.

Damn, man! Put on some drawers!

This is a family beach,

not Chippendales!

What's wrong with you?

Eagle One, this is Hungry Like the Wolf.

- Come in, Eagle One.

- Kevin? Kevin!

Yes? Yes, what?

Cop-Copy. Copy, Eagle One.

Man, stop with the damn code

names. He ain't out here.

Affirmative. Stopping with

the code names, Eagle One.

Ooh, hi, babies!

Ooh, the waters so warm.

Big Momma, if you're done with your

walk, Andrew's eating sand again.

You got something you

wanna say to Big Momma?

Come on. Talk for me.

Can you say 'ocean'?

Why don't you take him down

and get his feet wet, all right?

Shoo, go play. Have a good time.

Enjoy the beach. Get sand

all in between your toes.

Everything. I don't care. Ooh!

Let me cop a squat here.

Ooh!

Ooh! I feel sexy.

I don't want to be here.

Really? But you look so comfortable.

Yeah, well, this is who I am,

okay? So just get used to it.

Ooh. Well, it might be. It

might be exactly who you are.

Or maybe its just something

you're tryin' to be...

...to impress some boy you got

no business tryin to impress.

Yeah, well, Chad loves me

just like this, so whatever.

Child, you're only 15 years old.

Truth be told, you cant spell love.

Now, that Chad boy

- He's playin' you.

What? Pla

- No. You don't know anything about him.

Oh, really? Well, lets see.

You probably met him out

with a group of friends.

He never said anything to you.

He just stood in the back,

lookin all mysterious.

And he likes to call

you late at night...

...because he says you're the

last voice he wants to hear.

How did you know that?

Child, the players change,

but the game remains the same.

And one day you're gonna wake up,

and you're gonna realize, Molly...

...that Big Momma got your back.

Now, look, if you need me...

I don't care when it is, day or

night, you just call me, okay?

And I'll come runnin'

quick, fast and in a hurry.

Malcolm! Malcolm! Malcolm, I got him!

I got him! I got him!

Malcolm, Malcolm, I got him!

Molly, why don't you take your brother

and sister down to the concession stand...

...and get em some ice cream?

Big Momma go to stretch

one more again, okay?

Uh-

Freeze! F.B.I.! Hold

it right there! Hold it!

Come here! Don't make me run after you!

I don't like chasin' people!

Give me that!

Move! Get out the way! Move! Move!

Lord have mercy! Police

business! Get out the way!

Ohhh!

Oh! No!

Oh!

Hold it!

Stop!

Right there! Hold it right there!

Freeze! F.B.I.! All

right, Anthony Bishop...

I got a warrant for your arrest.

F.B.I.? What's with the, you know?

You're the one bein' chased. You don't get

to ask questions. Now, get off the railing.

You don't know these guys. I roll

over on them, they'll kill me.

- Don't worry. I can help you.

- No, you can't!

Yes, I can. Now, don't make me come up-

Listen, we did a full search- Bishop's hotel room,

everything. There was no disk.

Damn.

We assume Bishop already

delivered his disk...

...which means the programs have merged, and

the worm is operational, ready for delivery.

- We gotta get into Fullers office computer.

- I got in once. I'll do it again.

The problem is, even if we did that, were

talking multiple levels of encryption.

- We cant hack that.

- Way ahead of you. I'm bringin' in an outside consultant.

He can give you the password. You

can use that to break into the system.

My office will give you an address.

Oh, this here is a good read.

It got a chapter in here

that will blow your mind.

You're losing it.

Andrew, don't you even think ab-

Harvard, here we come.

Trent, I'm home!

So, uh, his name is Stewart Nybo.

Computer Crimes Division nailed

him hacking into a D.O.D. System...

...and then they cut him a

deal to come work for us.

Mr. Nybo, were pretty

anxious to get started.

- Well brief you

on the... Stewart!

- Yo.

- Stewart?

Are you kidding? If I were that

little nerd, Id kill myself.

- That's Stewart.

- Are we gonna be gone long?

Because if so, I'll need

to bring my retainer.

Wait a minute. You're Stewart?

Duh.

- Uh, this has gotta be some kind of mistake.

- Yeah, right.

The mistake was thinking that two morons

like you can do the job in the first place.

I'll be waiting in the car. And

if you get lost on the way...

...its the big metal

thing with four wheels.

Did you bring the car seat?

Uh, so, Malcolm, with this earpiece...

...we will hear everything that you hear.

So you just get Fuller to talk, well

feed everything into the computer...

...and then hopefully well

come up with the password.

Most people are idiots

and choose sappy passwords.

You know, family crap- Hometowns,

college stories, old girlfriends, old guy stuff.

Eh. I'll never get them to open up

in the house. Too many distractions.

Okay. Okay. Well, then,

you get em out of the house.

You get them off their game...

...and then you take them to a place

where Big Momma would be in control.

Hi.

B-2.

B-2.

Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!

Carrie, baby.

No, you don't yell out

'bingo' if you don't have it.

Bingo people get a little testy.

She's just a child, and

it won't happen again.

Damn right it wont happen again!

Come on, baby.

- Get it.

- What do you mean, get it?

She needs a flea rinse. Turbo dry.

Oh, and can you shave her pads for me?

Were supposed to be

dog groomers, you idiot.

Yes. Yes. She's in excellent hands, sir.

You have a great day. Bye-bye now.

Um...

...okay, okay.

You've gotta be kidding me.

Come here. Okay, clip the

nails. Flush the ears. Bye- Bye.

B-14.

B-1-4. - Ooh.

Ask him where he was born, Malcolm.

Oh, so, Mr. Fuller, where

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Don Rhymer

Don Rhymer (February 23, 1961 – November 28, 2012) was an American screenwriter and film producer. He graduated from James Madison University in 1982. He wrote movies like Big Momma's House, The Santa Clause 2, Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, The Honeymooners, Deck the Halls, and the computer animated mockumentary Surf's Up. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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