Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Page #4

So, what are your feelings

as you look forward to the halftime show?

We weren't issued feelings, sir.

My men are ready for anything.

Just don't ask us to dance,

and we'll be all right.

Ma'am.

Any trouble sleeping

or readjusting to life back home?

No, ma'am.

I sleep fine.

Yeah, I'm good.

Sir in the back.

What was your hardest mission?

When we lost Sergeant Breem.

Are we making a difference over there?

Absolutely, sir. America's out there

producing dozens of suicidally

pissed-off insurgents every day.

Are we making a difference over there?

I think we are, yes.

We are making a difference, definitely.

What do you do during your downtime?

For fun.

Masturbate.

Masturbate, just all over the place.

What do you do

during your downtime? For fun.

Most days we're putting in 12 to 14 hours.

When we get a little

kick-back time, though...

Guys?

I like to lift weights.

I play video games.

I have a plethora of board games.

Yeah, my... My baby girl sent us her copy

of Chutes and Ladders.

Keeps us battle-ready.

"I like to kill my enemies

"and listen to the lamentation

of their women."

That's from Conan the Barbarian.

I just always wanted to say that.

Sir in the back.

So, what inspired Bravo to do

what it did that fateful day at Al-Ansakar?

Specialist Lynn was the first to recognize

what was going on down there.

He was also the first one to react.

I think he's the appropriate one

to answer your question.

Um...

To tell you the honest truth, sir,

I don't remember all that much.

I saw Shroom, Sergeant Bream,

being dragged away,

so I wanted to get him back.

And I guess my training just kicked in.

According to your

Silver Star citation,

you were in hand-to-hand combat

with one of the insurgents.

Is that right?

Um, I mostly returned fire

and rendered aid to Sergeant Breem.

Yeah, but you also got

to engage the enemy up close.

I mean, not many soldiers

are given that kind of experience.

"Given"? I mean, it's not

what I wanted to do.

The... The guy just jumped me, and we...

- What was it like?

- What was what like, sir?

Well, to be so close to the enemy.

It wasn't like we had that much time

to get acquainted.

Look, it all happened real fast, okay?

I just...

It's not something I'm

real proud of, but...

You know, I did what I had to do.

USA!

Yeah,

the Hindus were onto something, Billy.

Ours is what they called

"the karma of action."

The way of the warrior.

Sorry f***ing excuse for a warrior

I'm turning out to be.

Only if you keep asking why.

Like, "Why must I always

take point on patrol?"

Or, "Why must I kill?"

Always wanting answers?

That's just desire, bro.

And that sh*t'll trap

you inside of yourself.

And believe me, you don't want to be there,

especially when you're out here.

Yeah. Well, what if I

desire not to get killed?

Well, it's useless to worry about it.

If a bullet's gonna get you,

it's already been fired.

Don't worry.

Any Suggestions?

"Always perform with detachment

any action you must do.

"And surrender all actions to me."

This is what Krishna

tells the warrior Arjuna

when he's hesitating the night

before the great battle.

Krishna. That's the dude

with the blue skin, right?

Mmm-hmm.

An avatar of Vishnu, the supreme deity.

Not in my part of Texas.

Look, Billy,

it doesn't have to be about God or country.

Just find something bigger than yourself.

Some actually prefer to believe

they're already dead.

Bob, I'm glad you asked me that question,

because it gives me the opportunity

to clear up a few misconceptions.

Sh*t.

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm just a little beat.

Sounds like it's been a long tour.

- Iraq or America?

- I guess both.

I'm Faison.

- Say again?

- Faison.

F-A-I-S-O-N.

And I know who you are,

Billy Lynn from Stovall.

My great-grandmother

was Miss Stovall, 1937.

How 'bout that?

Everyone said she had a shot

at winning Miss Texas that year.

Really? And how'd she do?

Second runner-up.

Everybody said she should've won,

but the fix was in.

You know how those pageant deals work.

Yeah, I do.

Actually, no, I don't.

I have no idea how

those pageant deals work.

I don't know much about anything, really.

Could have fooled me.

I've gotten kind of used to telling people

stuff they want to hear.

No. You put it right out there.

And that's strong. I mean...

Grappling with the enemy

up close like that.

Your friend's death.

You were right there with him.

Can't be easy talking to a roomful

of strangers about those things.

It is sort of weird being honored

for the worst day of your life.

It's like...

Never mind.

So, what's it like being a cheerleader?

You really want to know?

Yeah. I really do.

Really.

Mmm. Well, it's great.

I mean, people see us on TV,

and they think that's all there is to it.

You know, dancing and having fun,

but, uh, community service

is actually the main part of our job.

Visiting hospitals,

working with underprivileged kids,

stuff like that, you know?

To me, that's been the most satisfying

thing about being a cheerleader,

serving others. The spiritual aspect of it.

Billy,

are you a Christian?

Um...

I'm searching.

- Do you pray?

- Mmm...

Not as much as I should.

I never got much from going to church,

but then in Iraq,

in the middle of all this shooting,

my friend Shroom, Sergeant Breem, gets hit.

He's just, you know,

lying there, bleeding out.

And when I go to him, suddenly,

for the first time in my life,

I feel close to something...

I don't know, uh, bigger than myself.

And when Shroom died,

I felt something passing through me,

like, uh...

Like his soul or...

I don't know.

Oh, Billy.

Most of the time, that's how it works.

Life gets so dark, and we think

all the light's gone out of us,

but it's always there.

If we just open the door a crack,

the light comes pouring in.

You know how we kept looking at each...

I think God wanted us to meet today.

We are all called to be his lights

out in the world.

And I truly believe that we...

Look, if you couldn't deliver,

Why'd you tell the guys that number?

Now they think they're coming home

to Jacuzzis and sh*t.

I told them a lot of things have to happen.

It's Thanksgiving in LA.

I just need more time to deliver.

- Yeah, we don't have time, Albert.

- | ... I know.

- Jesus, what happened to you?

- Nothing.

Why do you look like you just got laid?

Gather round, boys.

Here's a little gift for you from the team.

Answers.

- Thank you.

- Now, these are actual game balls.

But they'll look better with a

little ink on 'em, don't you think?

Hooah. Thank you.

There you go.

Thank you, sir.

- Thanks.

- No problem.

Hey, listen.

What you carry out there?

Most of the time my weapon's the M4,

standard semi-automatic assault rifle.

A few times I've been on the .50,

what we carry on top of our Humvees.

That's a heavy machine gun,

lays down 550 rounds a minute.

Incendiary rounds

that could punch through an inch of steel.

The M4.

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