Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk Page #7

like you come forward,

the more we can help others.

Billy...

Please, think about it, okay?

Call me if you have any questions.

Goodbye, Billy.

Asian! There are no Asians

or Latinos in football!

Well, just try to watch a little bit.

- Okay, I'll watch. Okay. I'm sorry.

- You might learn a little thing or two.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

I'll be back.

Come on!

And how are you enjoying

your time here in sunny Iraq, Private Lynn?

- That's quite a question.

- And what's your answer?

All right.

This place sucks.

People hate us.

Nothing makes sense.

I'd rather go home.

"Go home"?

Back in Texas, you were pretty much

a wall-to-wall f***-up.

Yeah, pretty much.

Look, I know this isn't

the most pleasant place

for you to be spending

the flower of your youth,

but I'm beginning to think

you might have an aptitude

for the soldiering business.

I've been watching you, Billy.

When the sh*t hits the fan,

you're always on point.

And with this bunch of broke d*cks,

that's exactly what we need.

You belong here.

You know, Shroom would probably say

some mumbo-jumbo horseshit about karma

and everything happening

as it's been preordained.

So, maybe there's a reason you're here.

Think about it, Billy.

Gentlemen,

a little gift from my man Hector.

Okay?

Hide that sh*t, hide that

sh*t, hide that sh*t.

- Hey, shitbirds, move over.

- All right, guys, get up.

- Scoot one over for Albert.

- What's up, man?

What's up? What's up?

All right. So, where's

that big check there, buddy?

What... What check?

I'm working on it.

- Hey, Albert, man.

- Yo.

You know, we were wondering what's up

with the movie project, man.

Seeing as we're about to head out to Iraq,

to get shot at and all?

- You got a studio yet, man?

- We do not. And Hilary's out.

But there's still tons

of interest out there.

Gonna get a little crazy

Just because I can, you know...

So, which one is she?

Third from left, down near the 20.

Till they throw me out...

Ooh!

Congratulations, Billy.

Lady is bangin'.

What's her name?

- Faison.

- Damn.

Depths and depths in young Billy.

Who'd have thought?

Though how the hell you

talked her into it...

- I let her do most of the talking.

- Smart man.

I got a feeling you're gonna

get laid a lot in life, Billy.

Thanks, Sergeant.

Thing is, I don't want to lose her.

What?

Jesus Christ, Billy, lose what?

How long were you with her, ten minutes?

You're a hero. She was doing

something nice for the troops.

And we're on post as of 2200 tonight,

so I don't know when you think

you're gonna see her again.

- Do you have a problem?

- No, Sergeant.

We're going back to Iraq, Billy.

We're gonna be in the enemy's sights,

and you're gonna be

the first one to get smoked

if you let your gun

get in the way of your rifle.

Now, I want you to forget

about those pom-poms,

and I mean fast.

Every man's penis has the same IQ, Billy.

Be smarter than your penis.

Do I make myself clear,

- Specialist Lynn?

- Hooah, Sergeant.

Good.

Push it through, Dallas!

Tell you what, why don't

you get her e-mail?

That way y'all can e-f***

when we're back in Iraq.

Enjoy the game.

Albert, switch with me.

Classic Hollywood.

What?

Old-time Hollywood films.

Movies about groups of men

working together fine,

like you all, until some woman

- comes in and messes it up.

- There's no woman.

There's always a woman.

Without a love interest,

- there's no story.

- Yeah, well...

Dime set me right about that.

Well, listen, brotherly

love is a great thing,

but all these people in this stadium

want to see you ride away

into the sunset with the girl.

Without a woman, you ain't got sh*t, Billy.

That's why I got married.

Got to get your priorities straight.

Listen, don't worry,

we're gonna get this movie made right.

F*** 'em.

- F*** who?

- The studios.

You guys keep protecting America,

I'll keep pitching.

You guys are the real heroes, man.

You guys deserve to get this movie made.

I'm on... I'm on it. All good.

Don't worry about it.

Everything is bigger and

better in Texas, and our cheerleaders...

Hey, hey, sorry to interrupt.

We need to get you guys ready

- for halftime.

- Everyone here?

Good. Okay. First off,

what are y'all gonna wear?

What we're wearing, ma'am.

These are our dress uniforms.

Uh-uh. No way.

I'm already drowning in dress uniforms.

I need you boys

to really stand out, you know?

Give me some of that

"bring it on" attitude.

You guys are gonna be right up there,

on stage with Destiny's Child.

Excuse me, ma'am. Doing what?

We don't have anything prepared.

We'll go over it after you change.

Right now, we've got wardrobe issues.

- What else you got?

- Just our DCUs.

That's our desert camouflage.

Did you say "camo"? That's perfect!

Josh, get these boys

battle-ready for halftime ASAP.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

- It's gonna be fine.

- "Battle-ready"?

Come on, it'll be great.

It'll be great. Let's go.

- Let's go, guys.

- Okay, time to shine.

Bravo 2-2. This is Bravo 2-6 Alpha.

Go ahead, Bravo 2-6.

We have a civil affairs unit in contact,

vicinity AI-Ansakar village. Break.

Looks like they're trying

to take hostages. Break.

Move immediately to the east entrance

and cover until BG4 arrives.

How copy? Over.

Roger that, Bravo 2-6. Over.

Stand by for follow-on tasking.

Stay sharp, 2-2. Bravo 2-6 out.

Al-Ansakar... We just

built the school there.

That's why the teenagers

keep shooting at us.

We don't know what's up there,

so hold the trucks here.

We'll radio you after we assess.

LT wants us to secure that site

for a medevac when BG4 arrives.

Against the wall.

- Come on.

- Enemy?

I'm guessing the same militia shitheads

that shot up Charlie company last week.

Sergeant, is this it?

All good. Stay focused.

Ladies, Hajji's gonna pop your cherry.

And he's not the kind of guy

to take you to dinner first.

These men are fighters.

This is their house,

and you respect a man in his house.

Now, warriors...

Embrace your fear

and let your training guide you.

We ready?

All right.

Scan your rooftops and watch your corners.

I love you, Lynn.

Roger that, Sergeant.

I love you, Sykes.

COPY. Sergeant.

I love you, Lodis.

Word, Sergeant.

- I love you, Crack.

- I love you.

I love you, Mango.

Yes, Sergeant.

I love you, Foo.

Love you, Sergeant.

Yeah, yeah. Let's go get

a middle school named after us.

They're looking

for hostages again.

Stay down!

F***. They're creeping up on the left side.

Get to that wall. Day, stay on the left.

- Keep an eye on that two-story.

- Copy.

Dime, set security on the right.

BG4's coming in that way.

- Yeah, all right.

- I'll take the first shot.

Then get ready to move.

Come on.

Ten! Nine!

Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four...

- Billy, I don't know about this.

- It's all good, Sykes.

We're on the field. The stadium.

Just follow me

and do everything I do, okay?

Ladies and gentlemen, from Iraq,

the heroes of the Battle of Al-Ansakar,

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