Blackbeard's Ghost Page #4

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Many's the time off the Maricaibos...

I could've done with a prime

little darling like that.

Give way, you landlubber!

The key, you idiot!

The key!

Turn off the key!

Think you can get

away from me, do you?

Calling Patrolman 9,

we're at the corner of...

Hey, lad, that be better sport than

riding a humpback whale in a hurricane!

Hey, care for a drench, son?

It'll brighten your scan.

- You're still here, huh?

- Aldetha's testament, I see.

Studying some way to get rid

of poor old Blackbeard, are you?

- How'd you guess?

- I have been observing thee...

and I note that you have a bent

for getting yourself into trouble.

I get into trouble?

Oh, that is really rich!

Who do you suppose put me here?

Well, do you think I like

this mortal life of yours?

Aye, there doesn't seem to be

any honest joy any more.

Your modern life of yours

seems to have got small.

Everything's puckered up.

You call this a four-poster bed?

Clear the way there!

I'm down.

You won't get

no comfort out of that.

If it's Aldetha laid that spell, you can

mark it a good one, without no loophole.

Now, wait a minute.

Mrs Stowecroft told me that curse.

Something about you having to dwell

forevermore in limbo.

- Limbo.

- Then something, something, something...

Until there be found in you

some spark of human goodness.

- What's the matter?

- Aldetha was bright as brass.

She knew me like a book.

Well, you must have done

something good.

Did you ever...

Did you ever pat a dog?

- A dog?

- Yeah.

- Pet it?

- Yes.

- No, I never did pet it.

- Did you ever help an old lady

across the street?

- That's silly.

- Anything?

- No.

- No.

No, we're sunk, you and me.

Dead as pork. Might as well...

face up to it.

Hey. Hey, the little old ladies,

the Daughters of the Buccaneers.

Your own kith and kin, some of them.

Give them your treasure.

- My treasure?

- Yeah.

The one that people have been

talking about for so long. It's hidden

somewhere around here, isn't it?

- Never mind.

- Eh?

- Why should I give them my treasure?

- Why, you great ape?

Because you can do some good with it.

You can help them.

In helping them, you might help

yourself. You might break the curse.

- You thinks this, does ye?

- Yes, I thinks this.

If you help those little old ladies

save their home...

they'll name public schools

and bridges and highways after you.

Can't you see it?

Teach Park.

Teach Highway. See?

The Edward Teach, uh, Memorial,

uh, Free Day Nursery.

- Free?

- For babies.

- Oh, for babies.

- Yeah.

- Named for me, a wicked old pirate?

- Yeah.

And for nothing more

than a few chests of doubloons

and a few strands of precious jewels?

- You bet they will.

- And in spite of the fact...

that I've got the blood of a thousand

gallant lads still on my hands?

Will you forget the blood!

I mean, I'm trying!

Look, crack loose with the treasure,

huh? It's the only way.

- Well, it don't sound right to me.

- Of course it doesn't sound

right to you!

How would a creep like you know

the difference between right and wrong?

That's why the curse

held on so long. Now, come on.

- Where's the treasure?

- Well, I suppose I must trust you.

- Yeah. Where is it?

- The treasure?

- Yeah.

- Want to know the treasure?

- Yeah.

Hmm? Where is it?

Where's the treasure?

- There ain't no treasure.

- There ain't... What?

No! Not a penny. There's not a doubloon.

There's not a bent or damaged peseta.

That is one of the most outrageous

things that I have ever...

Do you realize people have been

searching for that treasure

for over two centuries? Huh?

Poor, unfortunate souls

grubbing and digging in the dirt!

I'm not good for nothing!

I'm not, I'm not!

Grubbing in the dirt,

old poor people there...

Oh, don't start crying again.

Look, you must have saved

a few coins somewhere. Something?

- No, no.

- I did have a treasure.

- Yeah?

- I had a big treasure.

- Yeah?

- Lovely, I did.

- Yes.

- I spent it all in one week...

among the fleshpots

and gambling halls of Port Royal.

- Oh, it was a glorious week, that was.

- You know what you are?

You are a 100% total loss.

You're not even a respectable ghost!

You're a phony!

- Aye?

- A phony!

Oh, I've run aground.

If you ask me, the guy was stoned.

I say get rid of him.

The police report said they

released him for lack of evidence.

It says, "Although the atmosphere

at the police station...

reeked of cheap rum, the test showed

no trace of alcohol in his system".

Oh, he probably figured some cute way

to neutralize the booze.

Pills or something. Science is doing

all kinds of stuff like that these days.

Well, there's a corollary.

It says that Mr Walker spoke loudly

to someone in his cell all night long.

Well, there's nothing

wrong with that.

It happened there was on one

in the cell with him.

So he's either stoned or he's nuts.

Either way, who needs it?

Professor, I left last night

before the auction.

Did you notice anything unusual

in Mr Walker's behaviour?

- Yes, I did.

- There. You see?

When Silky Seymour and his cheap

hoodlums scared the daylights

out of everyone else...

he is the only one

that stood up like a man.

Now, wait a minute, Jo Anne.

That's not fair.

If I may remind you, Dean, the

Broxton Relays take place next month,

and our team needs its coach.

- They need Mr Walker.

- I still say we ought to saw him off.

This guy's not gonna come up

with anything.

Just a minute, Mr Purvis.

Now, we have fielded a team in the

Broxton Relays for the past 63 years.

We'll carry on the tradition

as best we can with Mr Walker.

Well, I'm sure you won't regret it.

- Oh, Professor?

- Yes?

I realize that your field

is child psychology...

however I'd appreciate it

if you'd keep an informal eye

on Mr Walker's behaviour.

Oh, certainly.

It's the least I can do.

Thank you.

Mr Purvis,

does it strike you as odd...

that sooner or later,

all our track coaches seem to crack up?

I can understand the others,

but this one hasn't even seen the team.

Say, why has Fellspahr got

his fingers in his ears? That's...

- It's on account of the starter, sir.

- You mean he's...

Yes, sir.

Fellspahr is afraid of guns.

Th-The way I figure it,

Coach, is we need more time

to whip these boys into shape.

You don't suppose they could postpone

the Broxton meet, do you?

No.

Okay, fellas, that's it for today.

Hit the showers.

Right, Coach. Let's go, fellas!

You all go now! Lots of spirit!

How fares your day today, eh?

As if I don't have enough troubles.

For a short, wonderful while there,

I thought I'd lost you.

You know where I've been?

I've been in Godolphin Town...

roaming the streets and shores

of my young manhood...

- Yeah.

- Soaking myself in nostalgia.

I know. I can smell it!

And you know,

as fate would have it...

I went down to one of these here

gambling establishments...

- by name Silky's Place.

- Hey, take off, will you?

- I've got a lot to do.

- And I overheard what some

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