Blackbeard's Ghost Page #6

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on your antique bed warmer.

Right. The handle broke right off.

Do you know

it turned out to be hollow?

I thought nothing of it

for a moment, then I noticed...

there was something rolled up inside...

a dusty old paper.

I thought it was gonna fall apart

right in my hands.

It gave me kind of a funny feeling.

Oh! Oh, you poor man.

- Waiter, did you hurt yourself?

- I'm so sorry.

- Oh, that's quite all right.

It's just a little water.

- No harm done.

- Will madame please forgive me?

- Certainly.

- Hi, Danny.

- Hi.

You just missed the first race

at Green Meadows.

Godolphin...

to win...

Nine hundred dollars.

They're in the starting gate now.

There's the rabbit, and they're off!

Coming past the grandstand is Pilsen

leading the field.

- Hello Baby is second...

- Come on, Baby!

Rainy Weather, third

and Daddy Dumpling is fourth.

At the first turn,

it's Pilsen by two lengths...

Rainy Weather moving into second,

Hello Baby and Daddy Dumpling.

- In the back stretch, it's Pilsen...

- This your bet, Danny?

- Daddy Dumpling is second, coming up.

- What do you think I'm standing

here for?

Rainy Weather is fading.

Hello Baby is fading.

- I hope you know what you're doin'.

- Let me worry about that, will ya?

- It's Pilsen...

- Be right back.

Hello Baby.

Oh, Mr Seymour,

take a look at this.

- Godolphin to win? Who's the patsy?

- Danny Oley. Okay?

Listen, his money's as good

as anybody else's.

- Uh, what price are you making?

- On this one? Anything.

For an old customer like Danny,

let's make it interesting...

say, 50 to 1.

At the three-quarter pole,

it's Daddy Dumpling.

Aunt Pavla is second. Pilsen is third.

Dandy Andy moving into fourth.

- It's Daddy Dumpling...

- Okay, Danny.

Into the stretch it's Dandy Andy

and Aunt Pavla...

Daddy Dumpling and Snow Queen.

At the finish, it's Snow Queen,

Aunt Pavla and Daddy Dumpling.

Winsome Lass to win in the second.

- What's the matter?

- You just made a bet.

Something closing in on you, Pops?

This is my bet.

- Fifty on Winsome Lass to win.

- Danny, don't you remember?

You bet Godolphin $900

to win the Broxton Relay.

I bet... Come on, will ya?

I wouldn't bet on Godolphin

to start with the letter "G."

Well, skipping all

the-the technical language

and getting down to the point, uh...

I- I would say, if you'll ignore him,

he'll go away.

And may I tell you something?

He's not so easy to ignore.

Oh, please try.

I know you can do it.

You know, Professor, sitting...

sitting here with you like this...

I almost believe you're right.

- I will try.

- Bravo!

Now just say, "Farewell, Blackbeard.

Bother me no more".

Farewell, Blackbeard. Bother me no more.

I like the sound of that.

But just in case that it doesn't work,

may I feel free to

call on you at any time?

Somehow, you give me

a feeling of security.

Oh. Well, certainly.

L... Well, there's no point in

being the head of a committee...

unless you intend

to do your job properly.

- How true.

- Yeah.

Oh, no.

Sorry about the ice cream, madame.

Oh, it's quite all right...

but, uh, I think I'll skip dessert.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, just the check, please.

- Here we are. Uh, keep the change.

- Thank you.

Shall we?

- Oh.

- Come along.

- Excuse me.

- Good night.

- Good night, madame.

- Good night now.

- Thank you.

Uh, good night, ma'am.

Good night, sir.

- Good night.

- Good night.

How do you do, ladies and gentlemen?

Mel Willis here.

And welcome to Sports Spectacular...

coming to you this week

from Broxton Field...

home of the famous national

track and field event...

the Broxton Invitational Relays.

Now, as you sports fans know...

there are some four college teams

represented here tonight.

At least three of these squads

are numbered among the outstanding

teams in the nation.

As for the fourth, little Godolphin

College from across the river...

Well, in the old days, the Godolphin

track squad took a back seat to no one.

They had a great tradition.

But those good old days

seem to be gone forever.

I want you to look at this event

not as an ordinary track meet...

but as a preparation for life.

Now, some of you

are gonna be graduating soon.

You're gonna find the world out there

full of nothing but trouble...

frustration and...

and strife.

And I tell you right now that nowhere

will you find a better preparation...

for that world outside than to be

a member of this particular track team.

All right, it's time to go.

But I want you to know, no matter

what happens out there tonight...

in my heart, each and every

one of you is a champion.

Let's go!

Oh, pardon me, Professor.

Oh, Jo Anne. Nice of you to come.

We can use all

the good wishes we can get.

Well, I certainly do wish

you and your team good luck.

- However, that is not why I'm here.

- Oh.

You may recall that, uh, last night

I placed the sum of $900 in my bag...

and when I opened it

this morning...

I found this in its place.

"$900 on Godolphin".

Jo Anne...

I appreciate the gesture of confidence,

but you shouldn't have done it.

Mr Walker, in the first place,

I do not bet.

And in the second place, if I did,

I certainly would not embezzle funds...

that have been placed

in my trust to do it.

Well, then how did it happen?

Well, I believe you were

the only person to know

that I had that money in my purse.

It's that rotten pirate.

He did it!

Can you imagine, taking money meant

for those little old ladies?

- Well, someone took it.

- Now I remember. Now I...

Your purse went off...

You don't think I did it, do you?

Well, you can't expect me

to credit that story.

Well, Jo Anne,

that's exactly what happened!

Besides, didn't you say

you believed in the pirate?

Well, not $900 worth!

Besides, I believe in him as...

as a-a metaphysical image...

not some stupid,

sticky-fingered goop.

Well, that's exactly what he is!

- Hurry up, Coach. It's beginning.

- I'll be right there.

- Okay. - Mr. Walker,

I- I shan't bother you any more.

I want you to know

that I understand perfectly.

Your motives were good, even though

your reasoning was perfectly idiotic!

With the captain and the bottle

You regard me strangely, son.

Something amiss?

- You took that money.

- Money? Money.

Oh, the odd flimsy I removed from

the purse of your, uh, bookish wench.

Why should that stir your ire?

Because it belongs

to the little old ladies!

Now, lookee here.

You know as well as I do I replaced

that money with a piece of paper...

what will bring great wealth

to them small old ladies.

Money in fifty-fold!

Oh, I can't trust no one.

- I'll deal with this matter personally.

- Wait a minute.

Just how do you figure to do that?

By bringing a victory

in this sport event...

which is taking place

out there this moment.

- Aha! I told you once to keep...

Give me that rubbing alcohol!

- Hey! Oh!

- That's a dangerous move, me hearty.

- That's not to drink, you idiot!

- What are you trying

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