Blood Alley

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"A sampan loaded

with bean-cake fertilizer...

"will be waiting for you at Beggars Point.

"Good luck, Capt. Wilder. Your friends."

My friends. That's a laugh, hey, Baby?

Escape, my aching fantail.

They think I'm nuts because I talk to you.

I'm not sap enough to fall for that.

What have I got to lose? A lousy mattress.

Come on in, comrades, and get warm.

How am I doing, Black Pigeon?

I'm on to your brainwashing tricks.

You're not fooling this old China hand!

No, sir. Not today, gentlemen!

Hello, Amoy, you dog-eared old postcard.

I've been looking at you for two years...

but Hong Kong's my town, hey, Baby?

Remember when they grabbed

that rust bucket of a freighter of mine?

I thought they were pirates,

the way they swarmed over...

till I saw their stinking tennis shoes.

What smells, comrade?

Your feet or the mattress?

Both?

Come here, lardhead.

As long as I'm breaking out of here,

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

Every hour that you kept me

in a bloodbath...

putting my brain through a wringer...

I was talking to Baby, here.

Jokes, sex, anything.

That's how I beat you jerks

at your own game.

And by the way, comrade,

Baby is a beautiful doll.

I could almost believe you'd been bribed.

Say goodbye to comrade, Baby.

Why, you dirty little...

A Russian uniform.

It's a gun. It's real!

It's loaded!

This may be a trick.

But if it is, somebody's gonna get hurt.

Powder your nose, Baby.

We're getting out of here.

Where are you taking me?

To the mainland?

Who sent you?

What's the matter?

Don't you savvy Chinese, either?

Well, there's one thing good about you.

You don't wear

those stinking tennis shoes.

Don't let that ferryboat worry you.

I think he'll do, hey, Baby?

I've been watching

that Queen Mary there...

over to Amoy and back to the mainland...

up and back and busted down.

She'd bust a gut

if she tried to make 6 knots.

8 knots, Captain.

- Say that again.

- 8 knots, Captain.

I ought to wrap that oar around your neck.

- What's your name?

- I am called Big Han.

All right, Big Han, open up.

Who sent you

and where are you taking me?

So that's it.

Okay.

- Is that where we're heading?

- It is my village.

- What is your village called?

- Chiku Shan.

Welcome to our humble village,

eminent brother.

We trust your journey

has been without wayward incident.

We are the elders.

Mr. Sing, Mr. Han...

and this unworthy

who serves as headman...

called Tao.

Did I spell your name right, Capt. Wilder?

- What?

- I wrote the note. I'm Cathy Grainger.

Yes. I remember. Thank you.

Come, there is food and a soft bed

awaiting our illustrious guest.

It's lovely here. You'll like it.

- Am I staying long?

- None of us are.

- What's going on? What am I doing here?

- You're one of God's footsteps.

- What?

- That's Mr. Tao's way to say "a miracle."

A miracle?

Me?

You'll be staying here.

- Who lives here?

- I do.

You must rest, eminent brother.

Then we shall talk.

All I need is a little time to clean up.

- Shall I make a confession?

- Why not?

You're younger than I expected

Capt. Wilder to be.

I'm glad.

Hang on to me, Baby.

Nice room, you bet. You likey?

- Me likey.

- Doctor's clothes maybe fit.

Her father's?

Him called away.

Before time, Chiku Shan sad.

You come. Now everybody happy.

That's just great.

And Missy Cathy, she very happy, too.

What's that supposed to be, Baby?

The village taxi?

"Missy Cathy, she very happy, too."

Missy Cathy not bad, either.

But don't let that worry you, Baby.

So, you're one of God's footsteps,

a miracle...

who needs a decent shave.

A miracle that talks to himself, hey, Baby?

- I thought you were alone.

- I'm never alone. I was talking to Baby.

But don't let that frighten you.

I'm so sane it hurts.

Baby?

Sure. She's up there, or there.

She's always up there.

She was the one trick I had up my sleeve,

when I was a guest of the Commies...

to keep me from beating my head

against the wall.

- You might introduce me.

- Baby, meet Cathy.

You have sailed this coast, Capt. Wilder?

What's this all about?

We require 300 miles of experience.

The villagers put up the bribe money

for your escape.

I think we're entitled to find out

what kind of skipper you are.

I've knocked around these waters

from Port Arthur to Singapore...

in every kind of a ship,

under half a dozen flags.

- Does that answer your question?

- Quite so.

Could the illustrious captain

take a ship to Hong Kong without maps?

I never tried it without maps...

but this coast is littered with wrecks

that have tried it with them.

Still, you have navigated

these dangers many times.

It could be done.

Capt. Wilder,

you may reject our unworthy plan...

and travel your own way to freedom.

In that event, we only request

sealed lips beyond these village walls.

One unguarded word

and our 180 lives would be forfeited.

Our people have chosen

to leave Red China.

Plus goats, ducks, pigs,

and a number of trained canaries.

We can no longer live in honor...

under the hawks and dogs

who now sit in Peiping.

For more than a year,

we have planned every detail.

It was one of God's footsteps

that brought you to Amoy.

Now we are ready.

We ask you to guide us

through Formosa Strait to freedom.

- 300 miles down Blood Alley?

- Quite so.

You have no charts.

What do you expect to use for a ship?

There is but one in the harbor

suitable for our plan.

- The ferryboat.

- The ferryboat?

A lousy stern-wheeler?

Why, that wouldn't last 10 minutes

in Blood Alley.

I've watched that relic for two years now.

When it's not broken down,

you couldn't get 6 knots out of her.

Eight.

With that added speed, you could

probably get clear to the outer harbor...

before the patrol boat

climbed on your backs.

We have other plans for the patrol boat.

What plans have you for the gunboats

in the harbor south of here?

By voyaging only at night or in the fog,

we expect to avoid the enemy.

And I'm supposed to navigate at night,

or in a fog, without charts?

- Quite so.

- Quite so.

She's a flat-bottomed river boat...

and probably draws

about two feet of water.

The Formosa Straits is no river.

First time you hit whitecaps,

she'll break apart.

It is a solid ship,

built in your own illustrious country.

Great.

Had the eminent brother

not seen these objections...

we would think him a fool.

Quite so.

You better give me time to think.

As you wish.

Honorable Captain, I must warn you,

one of our families is unreliable.

- Commie?

- Regrettably.

Today, the Fengs are in Changchow

for a people's celebration.

Until their return,

you have the freedom of our village walls.

Freedom. Hear that, Baby?

Dandy.

- You think it's utterly mad, don't you?

- Strictly for the birds.

Look, you're caught up

in this village fever...

but the world outside

isn't running your kind of a temperature.

A trip down Blood Alley in a ferryboat

is no Sunday excursion.

Then maybe we'll go on a Monday,

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