Bloomington

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Kirk, Jacqueline...

I'm gonna assign you to Psych 110

since that's the prerequisite

for everything else.

Next semester,

if you decide to double-major

you can beef up your psych classes.

OK.

Newbery...

Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

It says here

your first major is English.

Do you want to go ahead

and declare that?

Sure.

I have the 209 syllabus.

- Can I just leave it with you?

- Yeah, thanks.

Longest wait list in the entire

department once again, Stark.

I don't know how you do it.

Thank you.

Do you have questions for me?

No. No, sir.

Here's your schedule for the fall,

and a copy of your student manual.

I have to tell you -

my wife and I really loved your show.

We never missed an episode.

That's very nice of you to say.

- Thank you, Professor Hecht.

- You're welcome.

All right, here's your room.

You have plenty of closet space,

so that's nice.

Also, when you set up the phone

if you have any problems

with it just let me know,

'cause it can be kinda tricky sometimes.

Looks like you've got your own bathroom.

That's kinda special.

Here is your key.

Thanks.

You know, it's really rare

for a freshman

to get a single around here.

Yeah, that's what I've heard.

Actually, it's really hard

for anyone to get one.

You will have two quizzes...

a mid-term and a final.

And if you all look at your syllabus

you'll see that the first quiz

is only three weeks away.

For anyone that's interested

I've set up sign-up sheets

outside my office for study groups.

I highly recommend it, people!

Thank you.

Have a nice day!

Your essay topics are:

issues in the 19th century,

prose throughout the 20th century,

and lastly,

literature during the First World War.

Any questions?

Jackie, honey...

We know you're probably busy,

but I just wanted to check on you.

Are you keeping the same cell number?

You said you were.

Anyway, Dad and I miss you

and we'd really like

to hear from you so--

Is this Psych 110, Newbery?

Yes.

- Am I late?

- Not at all. Have a seat.

I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you.

- Jackie.

- Yeah, we know.

- Sandy.

- Hi.

So, is psych your major, too?

Uh, hopefully it will be

my second major.

I'm registered as English Lit for now.

Did you sign up

for research participation yet?

It's a requirement:

graduate student ass-kissing.

I haven't. Thank you.

Research? Like drug testing?

I heard it's pretty stupid, really.

Like how fast can you

name a color or whatever.

We should all do it together as a group

and get it out of the way.

This must be quite a change for you.

Sorry?

From working on that show for so long.

I mean, did you even get

a chance to go to school at all?

Phil...

Um, did Newbery say if the mid-term

was gonna be multiple choice?

Yeah, 'cause he totally can't read.

Unlike Stark...

I heard she makes you

spell everything out.

Who's Stark?

She teaches 209, Abnormal Psych.

It's actually a really good class.

I think I saw her once.

She sleeps with her students,

and when the school finds out

they all mysteriously disappear.

I heard they found

a body once in her trunk.

Zach!

They don't vanish.

They probably just leave the school.

Has she ever tried to do that with you?

I don't think boys are exactly her bag.

I heard she does both.

I heard she was a vampire.

I heard that she's

in the witness protection program

because her dad was in the mob.

Guys, can we please

get back to the textbook?

Is it true that Tyler

was supposed to be gay

and she was going to

come out on the series finale?

I mean, that's why Tyler had

a boy's name and everything.

Cool it with the homophobia, OK?

Who cares.

What homophobia?

It's a valid question.

I'm a fan, I want to know.

I have no idea.

I wasn't on the writing staff.

But you should ask them

if it's so important to you.

According to my sister,

what Prof. Newbery says in class

is actually more important

than what we read on the textbook...

Are they being mean to you?

Do they make fun of you?

No, it's not like that.

It's like there's nothing else

to talk about but the show.

They don't know you yet, honey.

That's all they have to go on right now.

They don't know each other either,

but that doesn't seem to stop them

from having a normal conversation.

I still don't understand why

you wanted to go to college

on the other side of the country anyway.

There's plenty of

good schools here in California.

And you know you probably wouldn't

be having that problem here.

What problem?

Of people being curious about you.

You know you never could

handle that very well.

You're not helping, Mom.

Oh, Jacqueline, don't play the victim.

I'm just saying I still don't know why

you're putting yourself through this.

And you don't even have

Mark to help you anymore.

I don't want to talk about Mark, mother.

All right, all right, sorry.

You think me quitting school

is just gonna make everything better?

Lillian!

Coming! Sorry!

Honey, I have to hang up now.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Get some sleep.

Mom, I'm not gonna be

around tomorrow, can you just--

Here, let me help you with those.

Thanks.

It's funny how these people

can afford tuition but not manners.

So I've noticed.

Is this a projector or a camera?

Sorry?

This.

Oh, neither.

It's an ECT machine. Circa 1940.

So it's like a prop?

No, it's the real thing.

Cool. Where did you get it?

I stole it.

ECT, huh?

Is it for recording something?

No. It's for shocking people.

Electroconvulsive therapy.

Why would you do that?

It's a form of treatment.

Does this one work?

I don't know...

I haven't used it in a while.

OK, I gotta go to class now.

Have fun.

OK.

What's goin' on?

Not much.

Hey, did you guys know

there's a mixer on Thursday?

You mean for the department?

Yeah. Are you going?

I guess we have to. Are you?

That's my name.

I usually teach 209,

but Newbery had an emergency

so I'm filling in for him.

Can anybody tell me what chapter

you guys are working on?

Um... I...

We watched a video last time, ma'am.

Is that so?

Yes, ma'am.

Was it relevant

to the course in any way?

I think so...

Do you think we can get

an answer before graduation?

It was a video on correlation,

and we stopped on page 34.

Thank you.

Well, when studying correlation

it is important to remember...

You OK?

Freaking vampire lesbo.

Bet you don't have parties

nearly this fun in Hollywood.

I wouldn't know. I've ever been to any.

Hey, look who's here.

What? Who?

Oh, God.

Why does she have to be so creepy?

Do you want me to

call her over here for you?

Didn't you say you wanted to talk her?

I talked to her the other day.

You did?

Lose any limbs?

No, no permanent damage.

Rach, come with me.

'Scary Bery' is finally alone.

I need to talk him

into pushing back the mid-term.

But--

She can babysit herself

for five minutes.

Why are you hiding back here?

I'm not.

I wasn't hiding.

You're supposed to be mingling.

Sorry.

It's OK.

These f***ing mixers

are more boring than the classes anyway.

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