Bluebeard's Eighth Wife Page #5

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times have you been married?

Well, you've heard

about Henry VIII?

You mean, six times?

No, seven.

You do believe in marriage. Seven

marriages and seven divorces.

No, only six. One died.

I beg your pardon?

A natural death.

(EXCLAIMS)

Well, shall we get

the picture over with?

Get it over with?

You mean just like a marriage?

Say, you're taking this

whole thing too seriously.

Oh, no, no. I'm just

being practical.

You see, today if I'm walking

on the street and someone calls.

"Mademoiselle de Loiselle,"

at least I know that's I.

But if someone calls "I'-.-'Mrs.

Brandon," it might cause a traffic jam.

And 10 years from now,

if you continue like this,

I might be trampled to death.

I'm just too much

of a coward. No, Michael.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

What's the matter?

It's a fainting spell.

Everyone out.

Out. Everyone out at once.

Where is this Mr. Brandon?

Where is this Mr. Brandon?

Young man, we've been

humiliated quite enough.

Now, just a minute...

Don't interrupt me.

I'm speaking as the

head of the family

de la Loiselle de la

Vertinier de la Courtoisie,

including the branch

of the Faussignac de Gascony,

and I suggest that you

take your hat and leave.

Get out of here.

Oh, getting tough, huh?

I'm not afraid of you.

Do you know what you are?

Now, look here, Grandmother...

Don't call her

Grandmother, I told you.

And don't you call him...

Well, anyhow, be careful.

And stop screaming

at each other.

If you want to quarrel,

go somewhere else.

(WHISPERS) Michael.

(WHISPERS) Yes, Aunt Hedwige?

You're the lowest

human being I ever met.

Is that so?

I never realized the depths to

which depravity could sink.

So I'm depraved, am I?

Well, what's a man gonna do when

he falls in love with a girl?

Why, marry her and stay married.

And if he finds

he's made a mistake?

Carry on behind her back,

lie, make excuses? Not me.

I think that's immoral.

Besides, I'm too busy.

And how about your poor wives?

They're much better

than before I married them.

Financially, I suppose.

You mean financially?

BRANDON:
Exactly.

Keep quiet, Father.

You see, I make a clean-cut

pre-marriage settlement.

Pre-marriage settlement. Oh, that's

so romantic of you, Michael.

Well, I try to be fair. And in

case of divorce, she gets...

We're not interested

in your money.

Well, $50,000 a year for

life isn't to be laughed at.

We're discussing a matter

of the human heart.

What's $50,000?

Yes, what's $50,000?

Why, that's a million francs.

From government bonds.

You mean tax free?

Father, I want you

to keep out of this.

Achille de Loiselle,

if you let financial

considerations influence

you for a moment...

Why shouldn't we consider this

proposition from all angles?

Are you a father

or an auctioneer?

MARQUIS DE LOISELLE: I defy anyone to

question my motives in this matter.

Then you defy me.

I forbid this marriage,

absolutely and unconditionally.

I've had enough of your tyranny.

Aunt Hedwige, if you

oppose this marriage...

Will you be quiet, both of you?

After all, it's my life

that's being decided.

And will you stop walking?

I'll make my own decision.

Now, look here, Michael Brandon.

You think that all you

have to do is wave a check

and no woman can resist you,

but let me tell you something.

There are still women in this

world who have other standards.

I refuse your $50,000.

AUNT HEDWIGE:
Bravo!

I want $100,000.

Bravo!

Nicole!

What's that? $100,000?

$100,000 guaranteed in the marriage

contract and I'm Mrs. Michael Brandon.

You can leave me

whenever you wish.

Oh, that'll never be, I hope.

(LAUGHS) Oh, that's

very gallant, Michael,

but it's $100,000 just the same.

Well, that's quite a jump.

Make up your mind,

Michael. Think fast.

If you wait much longer

it will be $150,000.

My price goes up every minute.

(EXCLAIMS)

Well, Nicole, you got me on the spot.

I'm so crazy about you...

Don't rush, my dear boy. Take your time.

It's a deal.

It's a bargain. It's a scandal.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Oh, Father. Goodbye.

I want you to write, dear.

Yes, I will. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Michael. Goodbye.

Send a telegram. Send several

of them every now and then.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(ALL CLAMORING)

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

Nicole.

Thank you, Albert.

Goodbye, Nicole, and if

anything should happen...

It won't.

Well, if you get unhappy,

just send me a telegram,

'cause you can rely on me.

Nicole, I know that man.

He can be very nasty.

Anyway, don't worry about it.

And I wish you lots of luck.

Don't wish me luck,

wish him luck.

He doesn't know it yet, but this

time he's bought a washbasin.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello, Mr. Brandon. Hello.

Glad to see you back in Paris.

I hear you've been

in Czechoslovakia.

Yeah. What's wrong about that?

Why, nothing, Mr. Brandon.

By the way, may I offer

my congratulations?

On what?

Well, you got married.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

You're very happy. I suppose?

Sure, I am. Don't I look happy?

Why, yes. Very happy-

Anybody said anything?

Oh. No. No, no.

Now, look here, no more

cracks out of you.

Here, madame. Thank you.

Will you charge it to me, please?

Very well, madame Brandon.

Hello, Michael.

Hello. Are you by any

chance buying books?

(GRUNTS)

I thought you never read anything

but the financial page.

Doctor's orders. He thinks

it'll quiet my nerves.

(EXCLAIMS)

Yes, monsieur?

I want some books. I'd say

about a half a dozen.

What sort, monsieur? Fiction?

We have some very exciting

new detective stories.

No, no, nothing like that. I

want something to quiet me down,

something to put me to sleep.

Something to put you to sleep?

Oh, what you want

are the classics.

Yes, and put in

one volume of poetry,

in case you need a quick nap.

There's nothing like blank

verse right after lunch.

Very well, I'll make

up a selection.

If you'd be

a little nicer to me,

I wouldn't have to buy all those books.

How about it?

Michael, I have

no gift of prophesy,

but I see you ending

up with a library.

Now, why don't you try

to be reasonable, Nicole?

Let's not quarrel again.

We fought all over Europe.

You've presented your arguments

in every historical spot.

The pigeons in Venice

are still frightened.

Will you glance

over them, monsieur?

No, that's all right.

You don't need to wrap them.

Charge them to me.

Very well, madame Brandon.

(DOOR CLOSING)

(MUMBLING) If you'd be

a little nicer to me...

books...

Well... It was a pleasure

to run into you, Michael.

Oh, by the way, you've done

over your boudoir, haven't you?

Yes. It's all in turquoise,

blue and silver.

Oh, it's really quite stunning.

But what about that

green carpet, though?

Why, green and blue are charming...

How did you know?

Well, your maid told my valet.

They're very friendly.

That sometimes happens, even when

people live in the same apartment.

(CHUCKLES) Yes. I think we're very lucky

with most of our servants, don't you?

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