Bluebeard's Eighth Wife Page #6

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Oh, you bet.

The new cook's fine.

Really? I'm hardly

in a position to tell.

I've eaten here so little.

Oh, yes, I see by the papers you've

been stepping out a lot lately.

(CHUCKLING) Yes, quite a bit.

Having a good time?

Oh, it's wonderful not to be

under parental control anymore.

That's what I love

about marriage.

How's your father? Fine.

Rest of the family?

Fine, thank you.

How's your business?

Okay. Anything else new?

No, nothing I know about.

Well, goodbye.

Hope I run into

you again sometime.

Goodbye, Michael.

Oh, Michael.

If you have any complaints about

the household or the servants,

just drop me a note.

And in case anything of importance

comes up and you have to see me,

it's perfectly all right.

Just give me a warning.

Hey, you. Come here.

Are you Mrs. Brandon's

new chauffeur? No.

Oh, you don't have to hide it from me.

I'm quitting the job anyhow.

But let me tell you something.

Don't take it.

You never get home

before 3:
00 in the morning.

(SHATTERING)

Shakespeare.

(NICOLE EXCLAIMING) Oh, Michael!

Michael, don't do that! Stop it!

Where is it?

Here.

(CLICKING TONGUE)

Hurt?

No. This is awfully

nice of you, Nicole.

Oh, no. I always put iodine

on people when I bite them.

Oh, your bark's worse than your bite.

No, it isn't.

Good evening, Mr. Brandon.

Well, Mrs. Brandon,

this is certainly an honor.

(EXCLAIMS) I'm delighted

you accepted my invitation.

Thank you. What are the

plans for tonight?

Well, first I thought we'd

have a little dinner here,

and then the choice is yours.

I have tickets

for the Russian ballet,

and tickets

for the prize fights.

It's absolutely up to you.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Here's to our agreement,

no lovemaking, no quarrels.

Just like an ordinary

married couple.

I said no quarrels.

(EXCLAIMS) It's rather

strong, I'-.-'Ir. Brandon.

Do you think so? Mmm-hmm.

Well, if you keep your part of the

agreement, I'll be very generous.

We'll go to the prize fights.

But the slightest slip and you'll

find yourself at the Russian ballet.

Oh, I must explain. This is

sort of a buffet supper.

Buffet supper?

You see, the servants

are going to a ball tonight.

(EXCLAIMS)

I think one should consider

them now and then.

After all, these are pretty unsettled

times. You can't ride them too hard.

That's what starts revolutions.

Yes. Michael, let me warn you.

The Russians are dancing three

ballets tonight. Cupid and Psyche,

A Toy Shop in Old Moscow

and The Glow Worm's Birthday.

I'll behave.

(SIGHS)

(SNIFFING)

What's the matter?

Do you smell something?

No.

There must be

onions around here.

Oh, yes, right there.

Onions! That darn fool knows I can't

be in the same room with onions!

Oh, Michael, Michael, be calm.

I can meet this crisis.

Very nice of you.

It's all right.

Oh, no, no champagne. The

cocktail was quite strong enough.

Now, let's keep the

conversation very impersonal

so there won't be the slightest

temptation to quarrel.

All right, any subject you want.

Oh, the choice is

entirely yours, Michael.

Art, music, history,

the League of Nations.

Anything that doesn't

interest you.

Fine, I'll make it

as dull as I can.

Thank you.

And here's to you.

1643 to 1715.

1643 to 1715?

Louis XIV.

Won the Battle

of Steenkirke in 1692.

Got mixed up

with madame du Barry.

Michael.

Well, that's history, isn't it?

It's a sad chapter.

Oh, this caviar is salty.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, speaking of music, do you

remember the waltz they were playing

when King Louis

died of smallpox?

I don't remember any waltz.

And after the king died, oil

went up two and a half points.

I don't remember any waltz.

I'll play it for you.

(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING)

I don't suppose you'd be interested

in a purely impersonal dance?

Michael, the prize fight

starts at 8:
30.

Oh, what if we do

miss the preliminary?

(GIGGLES) All right.

But let me warn you, don't

make this a preliminary.

Michael, I warn you.

(SIGHS)

(GIGGLING)

Oh, that caviar was so salty.

(SINGING) Looky, looky,

looky Here comes Cookie.

Walking down the street.

Looky, looky, looky

I call her Cookie

'Cause she's sweet.

Oh, Michael, you're making me cry.

Oh, that's not fair.

Looky, looky, looky

I call her Cookie

'Cause she takes the cake.

In a department store,

that's where I met you.

Yes, you called me

the stripey type.

Oh, and I meant

every stripe of it.

Oh, I could've

taken you in my arms

and kissed you

right then and there.

Looky, looky, looky

Here comes Cookie.

Gotta fix my tie.

Why, Michael, you look so different.

I don't understand it.

You don't look like

a multi-millionaire anymore.

You look like a man with

$100,000 or even less.

(GIGGLING) Oh, no, Michael. No, no,

Michael. No. You promised me, Michael.

No. Now, you promised. No, no, no, Michael.

No. Let me go. Michael.

You don't want me to,

you're just pretending.

No, Michael. Between you and me

there's a whole world

of seven wives.

Stop being jealous. I tell you

I've forgotten they exist.

Oh, that's just it. You buy

wives just like shirts,

and after you've worn them,

you toss them away.

Don't talk yourself

into a laundry complex.

(NICOLE GIGGLING)

Nicole.

No, Michael. No, Michael.

Don't do that, Michael.

Oh, Nicole, be sensible.

I mean, don't be sensible.

Don't hide your emotions.

Oh, Michael.

Oh, why did I eat that caviar?

BRANDON:
You're nothing

but a silly little thing.

How can a girl be so foolish? Why

aren't you nice to me? Nicole.

Please, Nicole. You love me, I can tell it.

You're trembling in my arms.

Now, tell me you love me. Say it.

You're my wife, Nicole.

Michael? Yes?

Kiss me.

What's that?

Kiss me, Michael. Kiss me.

(EXCLAIMS) So you want

me to kiss you, eh?

Well, not so quick, young lady.

You kept me waiting.

So you thought you could

master Michael Brandon, eh?

Kiss me.

Well, what does

a nice girl say, eh?

Please. Please.

That's better. If you're going

to talk to me like that, okay.

(LAUGHING)

You animal. You

double-crossing animal.

Just one low trick

after another.

You've cheated

the life out of me,

you've bitten me, and now this.

Why don't I...

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHING)

Well, now, let's try to be calm.

Let's behave like human beings.

Now, look.

Now, look here,

Nicole, I married you...

No, you didn't. You bought me.

Well, then,

fulfill your contract.

Oh, Michael, now you're I'-.-'Ir.

Brandon again, the multi-millionaire.

Oh, cut it out.

You can't be so stupid

as to believe that

I made a contract

which guarantees you $50,000...

No, $100,000.

Well, you're not going

to get a cent of it.

Oh, no, of course not.

Not before the divorce.

I knew that's what

you were driving at.

From the minute we signed

the marriage license.

And do you think that's honest?

No, but it's good business.

Do you know... Careful.

Do you know what we call people

like you in America? Crooks.

You mean crooks? I mean crooks!

That's exactly what

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