Brad's Status Page #4

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Brad?

Hey! Yo, Billy.

How you doing, man? What's up? How's life?

Oh, life is good, man.

It's f***ing excellent.

You're, like, retired. Amazing.

I know.

You're, like, uh, living the dream.

Yeah, pretty much.

Although I'm not really retired.

I put some money

into this little beach bar here,

and it just blew up.

And now we're franchising across Hawaii,

we're coming to the mainland.

So, that's keeping me pretty busy.

Wow, that sounds great.

And I've got these two...

beautiful wahine who live with me,

and they're f***ing gorgeous

and they're f***ing cool.

And they make these amazing necklaces

out of shells and sh*t,

and I'm helping them open a store.

We surf,

then we f***...

then we surf.

It's awesome.

No, come... wait, so you're serious?

You're living... you have two girlfriends

that you live with?

Yeah, well, it's pretty fluid, you know.

Anyway, what's up with you?

Uh... uh, I'm, uh, I'm great.

I'm here in Boston with my son, Troy,

and we're visiting colleges.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. He's, uh...

probably gonna go to Harvard.

Yeah? Sweet.

Yeah, he's, uh, he's a pretty smart kid.

He's the real deal.

- Oh, awesome.

- Uh... anyway, hey,

do you happen to have Craig's number?

I wanted to ask him something,

but I think that he changed it.

Oh, yeah, I'll text it to you.

I just saw him in LA at Nick's wedding.

Nick got married?

To who?

To Xavier. Who is actually very cool.

it was a beautiful ceremony.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, no, I didn't know about it.

Oh. Well, it was real small.

Somebody asked about you.

I forget who.

Mm-hmm.

They were, like, asking about,

you know, where you were,

or whatever happened to you,

or... I don't know. Who was it?

Who was it? Someone...

someone saying, "Where's Brad?

I remember that guy Brad."

Oh, well, I'm just, uh,

just been doing my thing.

Dude, it's good to hear your voice.

My dog took a sh*t, though,

so I got to pick it up.

Okay.

Well, I'll, um...

I'll talk to you soon, man.

It's really good to talk to you, also.

And, uh, yeah, if you could,

uh, text me that number.

Yeah, yeah, I'll send it right away.

Come to the islands sometime,

brother. Later.

Yeah. Okay.

For a moment,

I imagined Billy's life in Maui,

with two young girlfriends,

and the great sex he must be having.

Then I thought about Melanie

and what was left of our sex life.

Please leave a message for...

Craig Fisher.

...at the beep.

Uh, hey, Craig. It's, uh, Brad Sloan.

How you doing, man?

Uh, I'm in Boston, and, uh, my son...

Um, if you, uh,

if you could... if you have time,

could you give me a call?

Um, it's kind of on the urgent side.

So, uh... thanks, man.

Not being invited to Nick's wedding

confirmed a creeping fear.

Not only had I not lived up

to my own expectations,

I'd failed in the eyes of others.

I pictured the wedding party.

Everyone there,

basking in each other's glow.

It wasn't friendship that bonded them,

but a perceived level of success.

Whether I was forgotten or excluded...

made no difference.

I was off the list.

A nobody.

A nothing.

The world hated me,

and the feeling was mutual.

Are you okay?

'Cause you seem a little off.

Hm.

No. It's just, um...

stupid.

What?

Uh, some, uh, I don't know,

some old friends...

got together and didn't invite me.

Mm.

And so, you know, 'cause...

I guess 'cause I'm not... um...

you know, whatever.

Just, it's random.

What? You're kind of mumbling.

No, it's... no, it's something

I wouldn't have even wanted to go to

even if I was invited, so...

Oh.

Just, I don't know, kind of lame.

I'm sorry.

Mm.

No.

It's ridiculous.

They sound like d*cks.

Hmm. Yeah.

Hello?

Hey. It's Craig Fisher.

Hey! Craig.

What's going on?

Is everything okay? Did someone die?

What?

No. No, nobody died.

Well, you sounded kind of weird on your...

on your message,

and you said it was urgent, so I...

No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to...

No. It's just, I'm up here

at Cambridge with, uh, my son,

and we're looking at Harvard,

and he had an interview,

or was supposed to,

at the admissions office, and someone...

messed up over there, so, um...

Uh, you know what?

Uh, hang on a second. I'm in a restaurant.

Hey. Yeah.

So, anyway, I heard that you, uh,

teach a class there.

You know what, actually, I...

I'm flying up there tomorrow.

You guys still gonna be around?

Yeah. We're here, uh...

we're here tomorrow.

We're here till Thursday.

We leave Thursday.

Why don't we get some dinner.

That would be great.

Yeah. Oh, and, um... one last thing.

Troy is a musician.

I mean, like, a true prodigy.

And, uh, there's this music professor...

And I'm not just saying that

'cause he's my kid, but...

Hey, Troy. Troy.

What's the name of the professor?

What?

What's the name of... Hang on.

What's the name

of the music professor you like?

Um, Jerome Backaly.

Jerome Backaly.

- Jerome Backaly.

- Yeah.

Sure, I'll give him a call.

That would be terrific, Craig.

That... man, I owe you.

No problem. So, dinner tomorrow.

Yeah, that'll be great.

I'll pick a place.

Have a great taping.

Thanks, man. Bye.

What's going on?

Dad...

I'm on it, okay?

I'm on it.

Mm-hmm.

- Hey, Craig.

- Hey.

Guess what. I'm in a bookstore,

and I'm looking at your book right now.

Great. So, I've got some good news.

Just got off the phone

with the dean of admissions.

Seriously?

You're in luck.

Guess who you have

a meeting with tomorrow.

Who?

Jerome Backaly.

What?

Yeah.

And then after that, you have an interview

with the dean of admissions.

No way.

Way.

Are you serious?

Totally serious.

Wow! Wha...

Oh, jee...

What?

Yeah, man.

Oh, sh...

Now I'm nervous.

No. Come on.

Oh...

Uh... wait, no, sh*t.

Uh, tomorrow I'm supposed

to have Tufts, though.

F*** Tufts.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ah... we'll go in the afternoon.

Dad.

Yeah?

You're the f***ing king, man.

Gotcha, pal.

What do you think, Troy?

I'm going to Harvard.

Coming through for Troy

made me giddy.

Try it.

Maybe this was the first

in a long series of victories.

Oh, my God.

I pictured Troy as an adult,

happy and wealthy.

Even famous.

I'm getting all of them.

Here you go.

That's our son.

For you. It's our son.

It's our son.

I love you both so much.

And all my success is because of you.

Aw.

Oh.

Thank you. Thanks, buddy.

And guess what.

What?

I bought an island!

What?

Yeah!

I pictured his triumphs eclipsing

those of my contemporaries.

And how gratifying that would be.

Suddenly, my thoughts darkened.

These victories...

how desperate to claim them as mine.

They would be his.

Um... my dad,

like, whenever he sees

a photo of me on the Internet

or in a magazine,

for some reason he thinks it's,

like, my obituary.

And that I've, like, died.

It sounds like your dad

might be a little bit crazy.

Crazy? Uh, yeah, a little.

I would say, um...

- Like, maybe this?

- Maybe, yeah.

- A little bit more.

- Maybe a little more than that.

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