Breakfast at Tiffany's Page #6

What?

The earplugs.

I can't go through the whole thing again.

It's sufficient to say,

I've come to make up.

And as an added inducement,

I have all kinds of news.

Can I come in?

I guess so. Just a minute.

Do I have a nightgown on?

No, I don't. Would you mind

turning around for a second?

Oh, never mind.

It's such a corny line anyway.

I'll turn around myself.

Come in.

Have you seen the paper?

Rusty, you mean?

Yes. I know all about it.

Certainly had him pegged wrong,

didn't I?

I thought he was just a rat,

but he was a super-rat all along.

A super-rat in rat's clothing.

You don't even know the best part.

Not only was he a rat,

or a super-rat, rather,

he was also broke.

Broke. I mean, but not a farthing.

His family has money, of course,

but he personally is broke.

It turns out he owes $700,000.

Can you imagine

anyone owing $700,000?

$43, yes.

Anyway, that's why he decided

to marry the queen of the pig people.

I'll tell you one thing, Fred, darling,

I'd marry you for your money

in a minute.

-Would you marry me for my money?

-In a minute.

So I guess it's pretty lucky

neither of us is rich, huh?

Yeah.

Fred, darling, I'm so glad to see you.

What have you been doing?

Writing, mostly.

Sold a story. Just got word this morning.

Oh, that's marvellous. It really is.

But...

Only how does your decorator friend

feel about it?

I thought you were supposed to be

saving yourself and all of that?

You know something?

I haven't got around to telling her

about it yet.

Look, why don't we go out

and have a drink

or take a walk or something

to celebrate?

All right.

I think there's some champagne

in the icebox.

Why don't you open it

while I get dressed?

Okay.

I don't think I've ever drunk champagne

before breakfast before.

With breakfast on several occasions.

But never before, before.

Now I've got a wonderful idea.

We can spend a whole day doing things

we've never done before.

We'll take turns. First something

you've never done, then me.

Of course, I can't really think of anything

I've never done.

I've never been for a walk

in the morning before.

At least not since I've been in New York.

I've walked up Fifth Avenue at 6:00,

but as far as I'm concerned,

that's still night.

-Do you think it counts?

-Sure it counts. Now we're even.

-Don't you just love it?

-Love what?

Tiffany's.

Isn't it wonderful?

You see what I mean how nothing bad

could ever happen to you

in a place like this?

It isn't that I give a hoot about jewellery,

except diamonds, of course.

Like that.

What do you think?

Well...

Of course, personally, I think it would be

tacky to wear diamonds before I'm 40.

Well, you're right. But in the meantime,

you should have something.

I'll wait.

No. I'm gonna buy you a present.

You bought me one, a typewriter ribbon,

and it brought me luck.

All right, but Tiffany's can be

pretty expensive.

I've got my cheque and $10.

Oh, I wouldn't let you cash your cheque.

But a present for $10 or under,

that I'll accept.

Of course, I don't exactly know what

we're going to find at Tiffany's for $10.

May I help you?

Perhaps. Actually, we were looking

for a present for the lady.

Certainly, sir.

Is there something special

you had in mind?

Well, we had considered diamonds.

Now, I don't want to offend you,

but the lady feels

that diamonds are tacky for her.

Oh, I think they're divine

on older women,

but I don't think they'd be right for me.

You do understand?

Certainly.

In all fairness, I think I ought to explain.

There's also a secondary problem.

One of finance.

We can only afford to spend

a limited amount.

-May I ask how limited?

-$10.

$10?

That was the outside figure, yes.

I see.

Do you have anything for $10?

Well, frankly, madam,

within that price range,

the variety of merchandise

is rather limited.

However, I do think we might have,

let me see...

Strictly as a novelty, you understand.

For the lady and gentleman

who has everything,

a sterling silver telephone dialler

at $6.75, including tax.

A sterling silver telephone dialler.

Yes, sir. At $6.75, including federal tax.

Well, the price is right, but I must say,

I'd rather hoped for something

slightly more, how shall I say it,

romantic in feeling.

What do you think?

As sterling silver telephone diallers go,

I certainly think it's handsome,

but, well, you do understand?

Well, we tried, but I guess...

We could have something engraved,

couldn't we?

Yes, I suppose so.

Yes, indeed.

The only problem is, you would more

or less have to buy something first

if only in order to have some object

upon which to place the engraving.

You see the difficulty.

Well...

We could have this engraved,

couldn't we?

I think it would be very smart.

This, I take it, was not

purchased at Tiffany's?

No.

Actually, it was purchased

concurrent with...

Well, actually, it came inside of...

well, a box of Cracker Jack.

I see.

Do they still really have prizes

in Cracker Jack boxes?

-Oh, yes.

-That's nice to know.

It gives one a feeling of solidarity,

almost of continuity with the past,

that sort of thing.

Do you think Tiffany's

would really engrave it for us?

I mean, you don't think

they would feel it was beneath them

or anything like that?

Well, it is rather unusual, madam.

But I think you'll find that Tiffany's

is very understanding.

If you would tell me what initials

you would like,

I think we could have something

ready for you in the morning.

Didn't I tell you this was a lovely place?

What is this place, anyway?

You said you wanted to sit down.

It's the public library.

-You've never been here?

-No. That makes two for me.

-I don't see any books.

-They're in there.

See?

Each one of these little drawers

is stuffed with little cards.

And each little card is

a book or an author.

I think that's fascinating.

V-A-R-J-A-K.

Really?

Look. Isn't it marvellous?

There you are, right in the public library.

"Varjak, Paul. Nine Lives. "

And then a lot of numbers.

Do you think they really have

the book itself, live?

Sure. Follow me.

Number 57. That's us.

Fifty-seven, please.

Nine Lives by Varjak, Paul.

Did you ever read it?

It's absolutely marvellous.

-No, I'm afraid I haven't.

-Well, you should. He wrote it.

He's Varjak, Paul, in person.

She doesn't believe me.

Show her your driver's licence

or Diner's Club card or something.

Honest, he really is the author.

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow.

Would you kindly

lower your voice, miss?

Why don't you autograph it to them?

Don't you think it'd be nice?

Sort of make it more personal?

Really, miss...

Go ahead. Don't be so stuck up,

autograph it to them.

All right, what shall I say?

Something sentimental, I think.

What are you doing? Stop that!

-You're defacing public property.

-Well, all right, if that's the way you feel.

Come on, Fred, darling.

Let's get out of here.

I don't think

this place is half as nice as Tiffany's.

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