Brewster's Millions Page #5

Anything you say will be repeated.

I'm like a Xerox machine.

- Warren, hold it more to the left.

- Your left or my left?

There's Warren.

That must be Marilyn. Hey!

- Watch your mouth.

- Watch your mouth.

Warren, don't you remember

anything I taught you?

It's my left. It's always my left.

It's the decorator's left.

Watch out!

Oh, Warren. Are you OK?

Oh, my God. Be careful.

- Hi. I'm Monty Brewster.

- Monty Brewster!

How do you do?

I've heard so much about you.

- Please, may I call you Monty?

- Of course.

Monty, I have the most wonderful idea.

I am going to do for you

a postmodern fantasy in here.

- I knew this was a terrible idea.

- You don't like postmodern fantasy?

- Shut your eyes and see Mesopotamia...

- Mesopotamia.

- ..meeting Busby Berkeley.

- Yes, it sounds... it's a knockout.

- We're gonna knock out the walls.

- Every one. Everywhere.

- Spare no expense.

- Spare no expense.

- It's only for a month.

- And it's gonna be a very long month.

- Get four sets.

- Get four sets.

Wonderful.

Angela, I need to speak to you. Please.

Angela, did Warren tell you that,

as my wedding gift to you,...

..l'm decorating your apartment for free?

- That's great, Marilyn. Thank you.

- Pas de quoi.

Spike, you know what I'd like

you to do? Choke this guy.

Come on, a**hole.

I'll give you a line on anything.

Baseball, basketball, football, ponies.

Come on with me.

I gotta get my messages.

My name is Dr Jason. I'd like

to draw your attention to this area here.

This is the Arabian desert.

It is as dry as a bone.

Ice water can cost you

as much as $5 a glass.

This is the North Pole.

It's an ice floe.

Floating throughout this region are

many icebergs, and nobody owns them.

They're PDls - public domain icebergs.

I think you're beginning to recognise

how simple this idea is.

Now. I would like to go there

and select a good-size iceberg,...

..dig out a chamber from its rear,...

..drop in two 20,000-horsepower

diesel engines,...

..and sail Brewster's Berg

Number One to Mecca.

- What do you think, sir?

- I don't know what to think.

Hello. Yes? What? It went up?

- Well, sell it.

- Don't sell it. You buy when it's like that.

- Great idea. What's your name?

- Luther.

I want to bet on every long shot in every

race, over 50-1, this week at Aqueduct.

For the week? Yeah, I can cover it.

- How much would it take to do this?

- Oh, no. It melts and he knows it.

We would experience a loss

of only 18% on the entire trip.

Hey! Think of what that means

to all those thirsty Arab farmers.

- What thirsty Arab farmers?

- There aren't any.

There's no farmers in the desert, Monty!

Well, I think that's unfair.

"Loyola vs Notre Dame?"

In a field-hockey game? This is fabulous!

- You went to Loyola.

- You gotta be kidding.

I wanna bet $50,000 that Loyola wins.

$50,000 on Loyola over Notre Dame and

$5,000 on every long shot for the week.

You are down.

It's field hockey!

If I gave you $1 million for this,

would that be enough?

$1 million. That would be great, sir.

- Hello.

- Brewster!

- Charley! How you doin'?

- All right!

- I just bought an iceberg.

- Not yet, he hasn't.

- And I rented a whole stadium.

- What?

I'm gonna spare no expense

in fixing it up...

..and making it look like

a big-league stadium...

..because we're gonna play

an exhibition game with the Yankees.

- The Yank.ees?

- New York Yankees.

- I gotta get the guys on the bus.

- Don't take the bus.

Chuck Fleming. I'm at Battery Park with

Montgomery Brewster and entourage,...

..awaiting the arrival

of the Hackensack Bulls,...

..here to tune up for an unprecedented

game with the New York Yankees.

Yee-ha ha!

For Christ's sake, you fly

us all the way from Jersey,...

..then you get these choppers

to fly us back here.

By bus, we'd have been

here two hours ago.

Not my team. From now on,

we travel first class!

Charley, welcome to New York City!

You guys look great.

How you like the new uniforms?

Wait till you see the apartments

I rented for you guys.

He rented apartments for these guys?

Apartments? Penthouses

with swimming pools.

27 players, everybody's

got their own place.

We're gonna have a lotta fun, we're gonna

get in shape and beat the Yankees!

You oughtta lock him up for his own good.

What's he think he's doin'? The Yankees

see this, they're gonna rub it in.

Come on, Charley, relax! Enjoy yourself!

I hope we haven't underestimated him.

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, you're doing fine.

This is the kind of flagrant misuse

of money we want to be apprised of.

He's wasting millions of dollars. Look

at what he's spent on the decorations.

Wait till you see the practice field.

It's great. I'm gonna have

the bus take us over to the island.

- The practice field's on Long lsland?

- Yeah.

The airport's on Long lsland.

You flew us in from the airport to here

so we could take the bus back?

I couldn't get the band on the runway.

They wouldn't let me,

no matter how much money I offered.

Oh, yeah. You can't play

baseball without a band.

Right. Come on, let's get on the bus.

Come on. Move it!

Beautiful, Benny!

Pick it up! The white ball!

Hey, come on!

I don't know what's the matter with them.

We play better than that.

Maybe they're a little tight.

Maybe they're tired from that long flight

you chartered for them from Newark.

I'm gonna go warm up, Miss Drake.

Why don't you try the same?

Hey, come on! Look good out there!

Let's do 6-4-3. Pepper it up!

Collins, you got trouble with your glove?

Try catchin' it with your ass.

Hi, operator? Mr Brewster's suite, please.

- What?

- Hi, Brewster. This is Angela.

- Angela who?

- Angela Drak.e.

- Miss Drake.

- Could I come up and talk. to you?

- Talk to me now?

- Mm-hm.

- Perhaps in the morning.

- It's important. I need to see you now.

- Can't you tell me over the phone?

- No, because, look....

This could do both of us a world of

good, ifyou k.now what I mean.

- Have you been drinking?

- No, not at all.

And you wanna come up here

to my room now?

Mm-hm.

- Miss Drake?

- Uh-huh?

- Angela.

- Yes.

- Give me five minutes.

- 0K.

Miss Drake says there's

a mad bomber in the building.

They're getting the people

out of the hotel.

Listen. Just get your wrap

and you go away.

You can come back tomorrow.

We can start all over.

- Well? Did he fall for it?

- Yeah, he fell for it.

We're doing it for his own good!

Come on!

Adieu.

I was expecting you. The door's open.

Come in. The door's open.

Angela, hello.

Hello, Angela. Just be cool.

- Hi, Spike.

- Hi.

She's really a very nice girl...

- Hi.

- Hi, Spike.

The door's open. Come in.

- Hi. Eugene Provost, financial adviser.

- Who in hell's this?

- A money man.

Money?

For the past five years,

this guy's predicted 88%.

88% of what this guy says makes money.

88.4% to be exact, but who's counting?

I'm so confident of my ability, I will

only take 15% of your profits after taxes.

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