Brewster's Millions Page #2

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I never mentioned the Mets. Mr Brewster

did. I was just hired to bring him here.

He's not a scout. He's a cop.

Look at him.

Look at those cheap cop shoes.

Cop face, cop hat, cop shirt, cop eyes.

Monty, the Mets don't want you. The

Hackensack Bulls don't even want you.

Look, I ain't supposed to tell you,

but here's who hired me.

Granville & Baxter. As far as I know,

they got nothing to do with the Mets.

It's gonna be great.

It's the Yankees.

- Mr Brewster?

- Right.

- We've been expecting you.

- The arm's OK.

The operation was a success.

The arm's 2 years old now.

Follow me, please.

Wait for me.

- Mr Brewster's here.

- Mr Brewster?

- Yeah.

- I'm Ed Roundfield.

This is Mr George Granville,

Mr Norris Baxter.

- How do you do?

- Perhaps you'd better sit down.

What I'm about to tell you

may come as quite a shock.

No, sir. I wanna hear this standing up.

Have you ever heard

the name Rupert Horn?

Rupert Horn... no. I bet he's someone

high up in the Yankee organisation, right?

I'm afraid not.

Rupert Horn was your great-uncle.

- What's that got to do with baseball?

- Rupert Horn quarrelled with his family.

He went out West.

They never heard from him again.

They thought he was dead,

but he didn't die until last month.

And by then, he was one of

the richest men in America.

- And he bought a baseball team, right?

- No. Oil and real estate.

And you, Mr Brewster, are the sole living

heir of your great-uncle, Rupert Horn.

I think it's only fair to tell Mr Brewster

about the conditions of the will.

Brewster, greetings from the grave.

Don't look. so surprised. Didn't you k.now

your great-grandfather was a honk.y?

The old man married twice.

0ne wife white, produced me.

0ne wife black.,

produced your grandmother.

A chequered family, you might say.

I've outlived 'em all, except you.

They tell me you're my only living relative

and I gotta say, I'm very disappointed.

Look. at ya. What have

you made ofyourself?

A failed baseball player.

I believe in being honest, Brewster.

No bullshit.

I'm stuck. with you.

But... we're gonna have some fun.

Let me... Let me tell you

a little story, Brewster.

When I was seven years old,

my daddy caught me smok.ing a cigar.

Lock.ed me in the broom closet

for three days...

.. with nothing but a box of cigars

and a book. of matches.

No food, Brewster. No water.

Just those goddamn cigars.

Wouldn't let me out until I finished every

one of 'em. Taught me one helluva lesson.

I'm going to do to you

what my daddy did to me.

I'm gonna teach you

to hate spending money.

I'm gonna mak.e you so sick. of it that the

sight of it'll mak.e you want to throw up.

So here's my proposition.

You have 30 days in which

to spend 30 million buck.s.

Ifyou can do it, you get 300 million.

- There's gotta be a catch.

- 0f course there's a catch.

You have to spend the 30 million,...

..but after 30 days

you're not allowed to own any assets.

No houses, no cars, no jewellery,...

..nothing but the shirt on your back..

It sounds easy, don't it? Yeah.

You'll find out.

No, no, no, no.

Now.

You can hire anybody you want but

you gotta get value for their services.

You can donate five per cent to charity

and gamble another five per cent away,...

..but you can't give it away.

That includes buyin' the Hope diamond

for some bimbo as a birthday present.

0h, I k.now what you're think.ing, Brewster.

You'll buy yourself a dozen Picassos

and use them for firewood, right?

Wrong! You must not destroy

what is inherently valuable.

That's instant disqualification.

0h, yeah. I almost forgot.

You're not allowed to tell anybody

why you have to spend this money.

- Why can't I tell my friends?

- I don't want anybody helping you out.

Nobody helped me out

in that closet with those cigars.

I never had any friends.

Well, Brewster, what do you think.?

You got the balls for it?

I doubt it. That's why I put

a special wimp clause in my will.

You can have a million dollars right now

and forget the whole thing.

0r you can go for the big one, Brewster,...

..the 300 million.

But ifyou fail...

..you don't get diddly.

This is the million dollars.

Oh!

Jeez! I never seen

that much money in my life.

We've investigated

your background, Mr Brewster.

The highest salary

you've ever had is $11,000...

..for one season

with the Toledo Mud Hens.

You've never even had

a credit card in your entire life.

Think of spending a million dollars

a day for 30 days...

..with no assets to show for it.

It's quite difficult to spend money...

..without accumulating assets,

even if the money is spent foolishly.

Surely no one could blame you

for refusing such an eccentric gamble?

That's good advice.

Take the million. It's yours!

What happens if I don't take the million

and I try for the whole thing and I fail?

Granville & Baxter would administrate

the estate in some charitable fashion,...

..for a considerable fee, I'm sure.

- What do you think?

- I don't benefit either way, Mr Brewster.

I'm a completely neutral observer.

Whew.

"Bird in the hand."

That's what my grandma used to say.

I'm gonna go for the 300 million.

When you appear before us

again in 30 days,...

..you must be totally penniless,

without assets of any kind,...

..having just the receipt for your

expenses and the clothes on your back.

Are you certain you wanna do this?

No, sir, I'm not, but I'm gonna

have a lotta fun finding out.

- Send Drake up here immediately.

- Good luck. You're due back in 30 days.

Gentlemen, shall we say

12 midnight exactly?

We're going to assign a paralegal

from our accounting department...

- ..to keep track of your expenditures.

- Does he know about the 300 million?

Drake just knows that

you've inherited $30 million...

..which must be precisely accounted for.

If you tell Drake the truth, you'll

automatically lose the entire inheritance.

I ain't telling Drake sh*t. My lips are

sealed. Lock 'em. Throw away the key.

"Hello, Drake. This is the way I talk.

How you doin', Drake?"

Miss Drake. This is Mr Brewster,

the client we briefed you about.

Oh, yes, Mr Brewster.

It's very nice to meet you.

- It doesn't rain, it pours.

- I beg your pardon?

The 30 million is deposited

in a bank across the street.

I imagine you'd like to make sure

it's real, possibly make a withdrawal.

- Yeah, I'd like to make sure it's real.

- Step this way, please.

- Hey, good luck.

- Yes, sir.

- Spike!

- What's wrong?

- What's wrong?

- Spike! Spike!

- You look like you've seen a ghost.

- I... I... I did. I'm not. I'm OK.

We're gonna be back on the team!

I may own the team.

- What?

- I'm gonna be crazy for a while.

But I'm not crazy. People will

think I am. You stick with me.

- You work here?

- No. They hired me to follow you.

Would you like to work for

more money than you've ever made?

I mean, it's a job. I gotta check and see

if it's real first. Are you interested?

- Yeah, are you kiddin'?

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