Bridget Jones's Baby Page #3

Bridget takes prime position at the desk in the gallery in

front of all the monitors. She slips on her microphone.

15 INT. HARD NEWS STUDIO. FLOOR. DAY 15

Miranda takes her place on set, slips in her ear-piece.

FLOOR MANAGER:

Twenty seconds to air.

HARD NEWS TITLES RUN.

Miranda continues to talk to Bridget through her microphone.

MIRANDA:

Anyway, far too many women are

wasting their lives having babies

in their thirties and forties when

they should be getting on with

their careers.

FLOOR MANAGER:

TEN, nine, EIGHT, seven, SIX,

five...

Miranda suddenly changes character - into impressive Emily

Matlis-type anchorwoman.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

11

MIRANDA:

Hello, and welcome to Hard News.

BONG:

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

Tonight, more attacks in Ramallah,

we go live as the world asks is it

time for the UN to intervene?

FOOTAGE RUNS so they can go on talking.

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

You didn’t by any chance freeze

your eggs?

BRIDGET:

God no, I imagine they’re hard

boiled by now.

MIRANDA:

You know what Bridge, this weekend

we need to go out and engage in

some serious

BONG - back on air.

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

Binge drinking; A dangerous scourge

on society. Is new legislation

needed?

FOOTAGE RUNS.

16 INT. HARD NEWS STUDIO. GALLERY. NIGHT 16

RICHARD FINCH enters.

RICHARD FINCH:

Bridget, Miranda, I’ve told you not

to talk between the bongs.

Without looking up, they both give him the finger. Richard

exits the gallery.

BONGS AGAIN.

MIRANDA:

The Foreign Secretary will be live

in the studio to talk about the

looming crisis in Muribundi.

FOOTAGE RUNS.

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

Or you could always try online

dating again.

BRIDGET.

Those dating sites are just full of

married men wanting affairs.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

12

MIRANDA:

No, I’ve met all sorts of men. The

other night I was on Tinder and

half an hour later I’m in a three

way with...

BONG - BACK ON AIR

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

Prince Andrew; The Royal Special

Representative for Trade and

Investment has written his first

children’s book.

FOOTAGE RUNS.

Two young, hip and serious-looking professionals glide into

the back of the studio; power-dressed ALICE PEABODY and her

assistant. She watches proceedings sternly.

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

But first, live in the studio I’m

joined by Foreign Secretary, George

Wilkins, who has just returned from

war ravaged Muribundi, where the

assassination of bloody dictator,

Charles Ngochi...

She can’t help but look pleased with herself.

MIRANDA (CONT’D)

... has resulted in civil war.

Minister, was this a military coup?

GEORGE WILKINS:

The signs are that Ngochi’s own

generals did take him out in a

bloody way, yes...

INTERCUT TO:

17 INT. GALLERY. DAY. 17

Bridget’s mobile rings. It reads TOM. Bridget picks up.

BRIDGET.

(hurriedly, whispering)

Hey Tom. Can’t really...

TOM:

How was the service?

Bridget checks Miranda. She seems to be doing fine.

BRIDGET.

(to Tom)

Well, It’s just sad. I can’t

believe he’s gone actually.

Miranda hears Bridget in her earpiece.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

13

MIRANDA:

(to Minister)

Well, it’s just sad. I can’t

believe he’s gone actually.

GEORGE WILKINS:

(somewhat bemused)

I don’t think there was a great

deal of sadness at his passing,

even by his most loyal followers.

His persecution of the Unbutu

people amounted to genocide. That’s

well documented.

18 INT. GALLERY. SAME TIME. DAY 18

BRIDGET MIRANDA:

(to Tom)(to Minister)

I know he had his faults, he I know he had his faults. He

could be a massive arsehole. could be a massive arsehole,

But I miss him. We all do. but I miss him. We all do.

The minister, clearly confused, but trying to play along.

At the back of the set, Alice takes notes.

GEORGE WILKINS:

Well, he was a colourful character

on the world’s stage, I give you

that. But I think the genocide

along with his eugenics programme

resulting in the deaths of over

10,000 of his own people, men,

women and children, put him on the

wrong side of....

BRIDGET MIRANDA:

At least he was never boring. At least he was never boring.

Wilkins looks at Miranda, now totally perplexed and

speechless.

19 INT. GALLERY. SAME TIME. 19

Bridget signs off to Tom and puts down the phone.

Thinking everything is going well, she now starts paying

attention to the interview.

BRIDGET MIRANDA:

(to Miranda)(to Minister)

Do you think a spirit of Do you think a spirit of

democracy can carry over into democracy can carry over into

West Africa now Ngochi’s West Africa now Ngochi’s

dead? dead?

Back on course! Phew.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

14

GEORGE WILKINS:

Now that IS an interesting

question. Finally.

Bridget looks very pleased.

20 INT. HARD NEWS STUDIO. GALLERY. LATER. 20

Richard and Miranda stand in the gallery.

RICHARD:

Thank you Miranda and Bridget, you

couldn’t just behave yourself when

the new management team were here?

BRIDGET:

They’re the management team? I

thought they were the interns.

Richard points to the floor and Peabody.

RICHARD:

No, that’s Alice Peabody. New Brand

Manager. Apparently Hard News is

too old fashioned, too serious, and

she’s the smiling assassin sent in

to sack anyone older than her.

BRIDGET:

Everybody’s older than her. I’ve

got cans of soup in my cupboard

older than her.

RICHARD:

(to Bridget)

You should watch your back.

MIRANDA:

They won’t sack Bridget. She

rescued this show, she made it

relevant. She made us award

winning! And as a result she has no

life. Because everyone has

mercilessly abused the fact that

she is a lonely, single, childless

SPILF who works all hours.

BRIDGET:

Thank you Miranda.

RICHARD:

Look at them all with their apps

and their ironic beards.

MIRANDA:

Maybe one of them will give Bridget

some sex.

RICHARD:

Does Bridget need sex?

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

15

BRIDGET:

No!

MIRANDA:

Yes. Which is why I’m taking her on

the girls’ weekend to beat all

girls’ weekends.

A rap on the glass door makes them all whirl round. It’s

Alice Peabody. Richard looks at the studio floor confused.

ALICE:

Bridget, isn’t it?

Alice looks her up and down, slightly witheringly.

BRIDGET:

Yes. Pleased to...

ALICE:

Team meeting tomorrow morning. We

can do introductions then.

Alice sashays out, Bridget does a pantomime ‘scared face’

behind her back as she walks away, Alice turns on her heels

and catches Bridget at it. Bridget disguises it as something

else, but fails.

ALICE (CONT’D)

9 a.m. We should all start an hour

earlier from now on.

21 EXT. OFFICE. NIGHT. 21

Bridget leaves with Miranda.

MIRANDA:

And you’re sure you don’t want to

come out with me and my crew?

BRIDGET:

Thanks, but I can’t let the old

gang down. They’d be disappointed.

Bridget switches her phone on after work and a flurry of

texts come through. Miranda heads towards the bike racks.

She reads a text from SHAZZER: ‘Happy Birthday. Sorry Bridge,

but can’t get a ‘sitter tonight.’

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