Bridget Jones's Baby Page #6

JACK (CONT’D)

Never question the algorithm, see

there really is someone for

everyone...

Bridget and Miranda get up and edge out of the tent.

Suddenly on screen, Jack’s photo is matched with Bridget’s

and the earnest man is knocked down to a photo below.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

26

Jack’s eyes fall back to where Bridget was sitting. She’s

gone.

JACK (CONT’D)

Guess I scared her off.

35 EXT. FESTIVAL. NIGHT. 35

Ed Sheeran belts out the iconic and brilliant ‘Sing’. The

crowd love him, so do Bridget and Miranda.

Bridget, now loving festival life, jiggles on top of

Miranda’s straining shoulders.

MIRANDA:

Oh my god.

BRIDGET:

I know... It’s the guy from

Starbucks!

LATER:
Miranda bucks Bridget off her shoulders. As she is

crowd-surfed over the heads of the fans, Bridget’s image

appears on a multitude of screens flanking the stage.

LATER:
Miranda is in her bra inside a giant inflated zorb

ball rolling around.

36 INT. YURT. NIGHT. LATER. 36

Bridget crashes into the pitch black yurt, laughing. She rips

off her dress, flops into bed, exhausted.

BRIDGET:

I’ve got to admit, that was fun.

No response.

BRIDGET (CONT’D)

You know what, you’re right, what I

need is a good shafting, some good

old fashioned, lie-back-and-think

of-England bonking.

JACK:

Sign me up.

Bridget sits bolt upright, startled. Jack puts on the light,

smiles gently at her.

BRIDGET:

Oh my god... how? (genuine

surprise) What are you doing in my

yurt...?

She looks around and sees all his things scattered.

BRIDGET (CONT’D)

With all your possessions, and

clothes, and luggage...

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

27

They laugh.

JACK:

Yup, it’s almost as if I’ve come in

and made it my own, right?

Bridget takes another look at Jack.

BRIDGET:

Oh my god, you’re the algorithm

guy.

JACK:

And wait, it’s you, the creature

from the black lagoon, who likes

French cinema, right?

Bridget smiles at him. Jack scoots across the bed to make

space.

JACK (CONT’D)

You don’t really expect me to

believe you accidentally crashed

into my yurt, do you? But since

you’re here and obviously looking

for a mate, maybe I can help you.

Bridget laughs. Damn he’s hot.

37 INT. FESTIVAL TENT. NIGHT. 37

Ed Sheeran performs an unplugged version of ‘Thinking Out

Loud’ to a rapt small audience.

As he sings a giant Zorb ball with Miranda inside, rolls

gently into the tent.

38 INT. JACK’S YURT. NIGHT. 38

Bridget is lying on her front on the bed, facing Jack as he

fills in the Qwantify questionnaire online. Their faces

illuminated by the screen.

BRIDGET:

I thought you said a few questions.

JACK:

Nearly there. Do you believe in

God?

BRIDGET:

Only when absolutely necessary.

When facing major illness and/or

when stuck in a lift.

JACK:

Have you ever eaten anything off

the floor?

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

BRIDGET:

Usually after applying the five-

second rule, but not if it’s butter-

side down.

JACK:

Have you ever done anything you’re

ashamed of?

BRIDGET:

Well, I pretended to be disabled to

get to the front of a Duran Duran

concert; I watched ‘Dirty Dancing’

eight times in one day, and had sex

with Olly Husbands-Bosworth in my

Dad’s old Renault.

Jack laughs.

JACK:

I’m running out of space... Would

you sleep with someone on the first

date?

There is a long pause.

BRIDGET:

Tricky....but on reflection...quite

possibly...yes. (Beat) Does it

count if you’ve got money on it?

JACK:

Depends how much?

BRIDGET:

Terms were not officially agreed

but it went along the lines of my

friend betting me that I had to

sleep with the first man I met.

JACK:

And was I? The first man?

BRIDGET:

Second.

JACK:

You might have just lost your bet.

He leans forwards and kisses her.

BRIDGET:

Are we finished with the questions?

JACK:

A couple more.

Things are heating up. Jack kisses her again.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

29

JACK (CONT’D)

I need to know what things you

aren’t prepared to do, just to make

absolutely sure I don’t offend.

He starts to kiss her neck.

JACK (CONT’D)

Is this off the agenda?

BRIDGET:

A hundred percent. I’m not that

kind of girl.

JACK:

Right. So I presume this is a no-

no?

He reaches round to undo her bra.

BRIDGET:

Without question.

JACK:

Excellent. I’m really beginning to

paint a picture of the kind of girl

you aren’t.

BRIDGET:

Do you think you may have found me

a match?

JACK:

I’ll have to run the numbers but

I’m pretty hopeful we can find

someone within your criteria. It’s

looking like a 97 percent match.

Although would you mind an

American?

BRIDGET:

An American? Sounds terrible...

They kiss.

39 EXT. FESTIVAL PORTALOOS. NIGHT 39

Miranda is now in the giant zorb ball with Ed Sheeran. They

roll down a hill and straight into the portaloos, two of

which they knock over.

40 INT. YURT. SUNDAY MORNING. DAWN. 40

Bridget wakes with a start. Turns. The other side of the bed

is empty. She looks around blearily, she sees her phone to

check the time and there is a text from Miranda.

“Where are you?”

With a panic Bridget jumps out of bed and grabs her clothes.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

30

41 EXT. YURT. LATER. 41

Nobody is awake. It’s been raining and the field is a swampy,

muddy bog.

Bridget, in a flap, jumps out of Jack’s yurt, lands in a

boggy patch and can’t extricate her Wellington boot.

Panicked, she simply takes her foot out and runs off with one

bare foot.

42 OMITTED 42

43 EXT/INT. YURT. MORNING. 43

Jack returns to the yurt with coffee and croissants. He sees

the empty bed. Looks outside again where he sees the

abandoned Wellington boot. He extricates it from the mud and

looks at it wistfully.

44 OMITTED 44

45 OMITTED 45

46 EXT. BRIDGET’S FLAT. SOME DAYS LATER. 46

Bridget exits her flat hurriedly with a poorly-wrapped toy.

Shazzer and her twins, RUBY and SPIKE (5) wait by Shazzer’s

car. Shazzer oblivious as Bridget slips two blue fizzy Haribo

bombs into their mouths. They smile at her in delight.

SHAZZER:

So it lasted six hours?

BRIDGET:

At least.

Ruby shouts over.

RUBY:

What lasted six hours Mum?

SHAZZER:

Erm, a puppet show Auntie Bridge

went to...

47 INT. CAR. DAY 47

They pile into the car.

SHAZZER:

Six hour puppet shows. And were

they little puppets or...

BRIDGET:

Very nice sized puppets.

SHOOTING SCRIPT.

31

SHAZZER:

And did he...(struggling) put the

puppets in your mouth?

The children look very confused. Bridget nods.

SHAZZER (CONT’D)

God I feel like my days of puppet

shows are behind me. I’ve never

even had 2 puppets at a time, had a

mile high puppet show... And has he

called? It’s been a week.

BRIDGET:

That’s not how it works now. You

just hook up with rugged

troubadours at music festivals and

there are no strings. Puppets with

no strings.

48 INT. COUNTRY HOUSE HOTEL. BEDROOM. DAY. 48

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