Brilliantlove

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# The power of angels

# You met at my door

# I wrapped it up in tinfoil

# And hastened away towards hills

# Begging, "Someone to give me a sign"

# But my heart wrapped in silver

# Couldn't cry any louder

BRILLIANTLOVE:

Last winter,

I found a needle in a haystack.

It pricked my skin

and filled me with love.

Now I'm addicted.

What do cats like for breakfast?

Mice crispies.

Shut up, you dick.

When I first started out,

taxidermy was like magic.

No other taxidermists

would tell you their secrets.

There were no books or manuals,

just secrets.

Do you know what

"taxidermy" means, Manchester?

No.

It means "to rearrange skin. "

Can I have a go?

No.

Why?

Because I am a woman,

and you are an idiot.

Do you want anything to eat?

No.

I'm starving.

Do you want to buy this?

No.

But how much do you want for this?

600!

Okay.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Manchester, they're amazing.

Piss off, Jake.

Look, the tutor will be back in a bit,

and if he catches you in here again,

he's going to fire me.

I'll be done in a minute.

Well, how's about

you just let me do them, right?

And I'll bring them to the pub later?

Okay.

But don't be wanking over my bird.

# Those great big eyes

# It's just like an angel

# Why should I cry?

# Why should I sigh?

Thanks, Jake.

No worries.

Um, did you want another pint?

Go on then.

Somebody said he just...

he fell over a pram in the passage,

but truly, I don't blame it

on the buggy.

Anyway...

You see?

You were expecting

one of them terrible jokes.

You see I'm class, man.

It will only get better.

Eh, you're too easy.

Well, there was a time

there was this bloke

I was hearing about

who was on the train,

puffing away and puffing away,

a little old woman sitting next to him.

Pulls into the station,

the little old woman pulls out a bag

pulls out the Bible from the bag.

Oh, that stinks.

She won't go nowhere near you

smelling like that.

She will. She loves me.

Noon loves me.

She loves me.

Noon loves me.

Finally, he's had enough.

Pulls into the station,

she pulls it out...

Why is he staring?

I've got Noon.

And when we pull up in the station,

you put the Bible back in the bag.

She says, "Why don't you f*** off?"

Well, you see, you do not know

who's on the train these days.

It's questions like that

should be asked.

I mean, easy question, lads.

Easy question.

Hello, Noon.

Hello, Noon.

Whoa!

Jesus Christ.

Prick.

Leah.

What are you doing here?

Have a look at these.

Someone just left them in the pub.

No way.

Manchester?

Sorry I am for being drunk.

But I have an idea anyway.

I want you to do

a little project for me.

I want you to keep an orgasm diary.

I want to know everything.

I want to know what it feels like.

I want to know what you're thinking,

what you're wearing,

where you are.

I want to know your secrets,

your fantasies, your desires.

Everything.

Go on then. Do something.

Postman cat's been.

The first one since

you gave me the tape took ages.

I closed the garage door

and took off my clothes.

I started to play with myself.

I concentrated on the feeling,

'cause I think it's more

important than the fantasy.

# I could never be political

# 'Cause I don't see the point of hiding

# I'm so close to being hypocritical

# I don't need you to tell me

# When I'm drunk and I'm being abrasive

I don't know if you're hot during,

but as soon as you come,

you get all sweaty behind the knees.

I really get off on the noise,

the wetness of the p*ssy,

the saliva and the juices.

You know what I mean.

# Have you ever tasted

rotten wood with your tongue?

# It's not much fun,

but it gets the job done

# And you're the one

who can test that line

# With that fine saliva

# My advice is to get paid by the hour

# By the wage slaves,

employers giving you 3 a day

# Take a holiday

Don't use it all.

I'm starving.

Do you think we should try and catch it

and keep it as a pet?

I'd rather get a dog.

Dick.

My dad would never let me

have a cat because of his fish.

I'll let you have one.

I'll let you have anything you want.

Sorry, love.

Get us an ice pop, baby.

Feed me.

For f***'s sakes.

Sh*t.

Sorry.

Are you okay?

It's all gone blurry.

You smell like a punch bag.

I'll be all right another week.

I was looking at one of your

photographs of me this morning.

It's shot from below.

You can see my p*ssy, then my tits,

and directly in line

with my p*ssy is my head.

My p*ssy is twice the size of my head.

Is that how you see me?

Hi, Dad.

Hello, love.

Come here.

I'll put the kettle on.

What happened to your eye, love?

I think I burst a blood vessel.

How?

Play-fighting with Manchester.

Hmm.

I bought this at the market yesterday.

I was looking at the blade thinking,

"That doesn't look very sharp. "

So I ran my finger down it.

Guess what.

Out your finger?

Out my finger.

Are these yours?

Are these yours?

Are these your photographs?

Sh*t, yeah.

Where did you find them?

How much do you want for them?

The photographs?

I'll give you a grand.

I don't want your money.

Two grand!

Dre was right.

Life ain't nothing

but b*tches and money.

Dre? Who's Dre?

Just a bloke.

Look, if you don't want money,

what do you want?

I don't want anything.

I just want Noon.

What, the girl in the photographs?

Loving her is like frying bacon naked.

It would be.

She's pretty.

What do you mean?

Well, the pretty ones

are always dangerous.

Do you actually live here?

Yeah.

What's your name?

Manchester.

My name's Franny.

You should come and see me

sometime, Manchester.

I might be able to help you.

You, uh... you've run out of ice pops.

# Baby, baby, I get a thrill

# Yeah, honey, you know

you make me feel good

# I can't want to see you and hold you

# Oh, that's right

# I'm ready for love

# I'm so excited

# You know it makes me smile

# Gee, I really love you

# Gee, I really do

# Yes, I said I love you

# And I feel all right,

because I think you do too

# Maybe I'm a little stoned, baby

# I just figured it out

# Baby, when I'm in your arms

# I can pass out

just like a little child

# It's hard to admit

I missed you, baby.

I missed you too, you dick.

Stop.

What's the matter?

We've been f***ing for hours.

I know. It's amazing.

I'm too sore to carry on.

Tell me a story

about a sexual experience you've had.

Ugh, no, Manchester.

It's too weird,

and I'm still really high.

Please.

I'll just ask one question then.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had?

Yours.

Don't lie to me.

Have you ever had one that was too big?

Yeah.

Really?

What happened?

I used to like f***ing

strangers at house parties.

One night I took this guy

into one of the bedrooms.

And?

I nearly fainted

when I grabbed his dick.

It was like a butternut squash.

What did you do?

We tried to do it

for about half an hour,

but he couldn't get it in.

So what happened?

I got on top.

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