Bruno & Boots: This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall Page #2

---

- Dude, I tackled him

- so hard,

It's a miracle

he can still walk.

That's 'cause you're

the greatest, Chip.

Hey, did you hear that?

Let's check it out.

Hey, what are you doing?

Check it out,

it's Hartley!

Look at those teeth.

Ha-ha-ha!

That's my dad, man.

His nose is way bigger!

Make it bigger, make it bigger.

Oh yeah.

Oh, add some spinach

to his teeth. Yeah.

Oh yeah, he's like

a hundred years old, man.

Can't forget the wrinkles.

Hey, guys.

Hey, man.

That is just wrong, man.

Copy that. Princess

is traveling.

Yo, let's go.

You really captured

his lack of scruples.

Nice job,

little weird artist dude.

Oh man, that's just wrong.

Yes!

They had no idea!

Totally clueless.

High fives for a perfectly

planned caper.

Uh-uh. Gotta keep my hands

at ten and two.

Driving's no joke, boys.

High five for Wilbur getting

his license last month

and being such

a conscientious driver.

- When's the last time

- you ate, Wilbur?

Don't look at me.

It came from the cage.

That does not sound

like a princess.

As many of you know,

our beloved Princess Penelope

died earlier this month

after 17 years

of devoted service.

Why, that's almost a hundred

in cat years,

and almost 200

in mascot years.

But, sometimes,

the passing of a loved one

gives one the opportunity

to rethink your branding

strategy, which is why

I am proud to introduce

to you all

York Boys Academy Cougars'

new mascot,

Princess Murdertooth!

Oh, dude!

A bowl of pudding?

Curse you, Macdonald Hall!

Who has an actual,

real live cougar

as their mascot? Why?

- Because they are called

- the Cougars, right?

Fun fact:
cougars

aren't considered big cats.

They fall into the same family

as housecats.

- Fun fact:

- you can't talk about fun facts

- When you're dead!

- That's a technicality.

What do we do?

We calm down. We calm down.

It's perfectly secure

inside its cage.

OK, it's...

it's perfectly secure

inside the van.

You were saying?

What the...

That cougar's

a terrible driver!

He's definitely not keeping

his hands at ten and two!

Let's go, we gotta get it!

Come on!

- The surprisingly

- low speed chase ended

with animal control officers

tranquilizing the animal.

Charged with one count

of purchasing

a banned exotic animal

is Thomas J. Hartley,

headmaster of the now

formerly prestigious

York Boys Academy, who faces

disciplinary action.

Headmaster Hartley

lost his job today.

We're sorry.

Because your shenanigans

Brought to light his black

market animal purchase.

Uh, you're welcome?

Boys, since you've both been

together here at the Hall,

you've found yourselves in no

small amount of trouble, hm?

Pancake launcher,

illegal road tolls,

underground tunnel to the local

movie theater...

Attempted tunnel,

sir.

Oh, I stand corrected.

What Bruno means is that

we will graciously accept

whatever punishment

you think is fair.

No, actually, I think the time

for punishment is over.

I think for the sake of the Hall

and its legal bills...

We need to have a change.

We punish you?

- Do some kind

- of yard work?

Keep in mind, I burn easy.

I'm less concerned

- about punishing you for the past

- and more interested

- In preparing

- you for the future.

- What future?

- A future where you're no longer

At the Hall.

- Or living together,

- for that matter.

Actually, sir,

- I have a plan for that.

- I'm sure you do, O'Neal,

But a big part of growing up

is adapting to change,

and it's my job to ensure that

you're up for the challenge.

Which is why,

effective immediately,

I'm separating the two of you.

That's...

No...

No, sir, that's...

Okay, um,

let's just talk this through...

No need.

My decision's final.

- I know it's gonna take some

- adjusting,

- But I'm sure

- you'll be up to it.

- What if we're not

- up for it?

What happens then? Have you

even thought about that?

I very, very strongly suggest

you find a way, O'Neal,

because if you don't,

you'll find yourself

not at the Hall much longer.

Yes, sir.

I know this is gonna be

difficult, but I truly believe

it'll do you both good

to see what you're capable of

separately.

So, as of right now, no more

classes, no more clubs,

no more roommates.

No more

Bruno and Boots.

Ms. Davis dropped these off.

Our new roommate assignments.

- We should probably

- get it over with.

- I wanna give you

- something first.

Dude!

My party shades! Ha!

Uh... oh! Here.

My lucky puck.

Isn't this the puck that

hit you in the stomach?

Yep, but it's lucky

because it didn't nail me

anywhere lower.

What's wrong, man?

I've never seen you like this.

I'm not good with change.

My parents once painted my room

without telling me...

I didn't sleep

for a month, Bruno.

Don't be scared.

Here, look. Come here.

You take the smoothie station.

Okay? I'll be fine.

That's just it! You'll be fine!

- You're Bruno Walton, you always

- land on your feet!

You've got

a plan! What do I have?

- Yes, that's right.

- That's right, I do.

And so... here.

You take your half, I'll take

mine. Hang on to that.

We're gonna be making cheddar

and bacon smoothies in no time.

Yeah, I actually hate those.

I promise you.

Alright.

How weird can our roommate

assignments actually be, right?

Yeah, that weird.

- Don't you have

- your own hazmat suit?

Pardon?

Don't you have

your own hazmat suit?

Uh, no? Should I?

- Opening a window

- should suffice.

Welcome, roomie.

Lot of stuff and gear, Elmer.

And why is it so creepy?

My world is the world

of science,

the world of knowledge

and discovery.

- Yeah, okay, but where

- did the last guy live?

For some reason, he elected

to live in a box. On the roof!

I can't imagine why.

My synthetic mucus!

Oh, sorry! I did not

mean to... wow.

That is a new smell.

I can see we're going to have

- to establish some ground rules.

- Let me start with a list

Of things you shouldn't touch.

Test tubes, beakers,

petri dishes,

anything on the primary

or secondary science tables,

likewise my pheromones

of the animal kingdom,

and you do not wanna touch

any of the slime molds

in the specimen fridge.

OK, but what about

the blueberry yogurt?

What blueberry yogurt?

Hi. This is...

- Mr. O'Neal, welcome.

- Mr. Wexford-Smith III

has been expecting you.

He has?

Is this room bigger

on the inside?

Considerably.

But well worth the expense.

Murray, if you please?

Good to have you on board.

So you're outsourcing

handshakes now.

I was a skeptic,

until I ran the numbers.

Welcome to your new home.

Non-disclosure agreement.

You shouldn't have.

Well, living here,

you may be privy to trade

secrets, cap and trade policies,

etc. etc.

Most of all...

I love the smell of contracts

in the morning.

I need to lie down.

Where do you sleep?

Sleep?

And miss a day's trade

or the Tokyo Stock Exchange?

No, no, no, no. That's

Murray's job now, old fence.

I'm sorry, but I need a bed

to sleep in, to study in,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes