Bruno & Boots: This Can't Be Happening at Macdonald Hall Page #3

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- to sleep in while pretending

- to be studying...

- This is not gonna work,

- I'm sorry.

Relax, old sock.

We have you all settled.

Right over here.

You'll be snug as a bug.

- I mean, of course I'll expect

- you to clean out

By start of business hours

each AM, but until then,

welcome home.

Ah! That's my 6:
50.

Hey!

So you deciphered my code.

A picture of the place

we're secretly meeting at

doesn't really

qualify as a code.

So, how's living with George?

Is it true that his room's

actually some company?

Yeah, no, I sleep

next to the photocopier.

- And it's not so much sleep

- as I close my eyes

For ten seconds before

somebody prints something.

- Well, um,

- I found

One of Elmer's carnivorous

centipedes in my bed.

Don't ask why I know

it's carnivorous.

I'm glad at least one of us is

getting a kick out of all this.

Wait a minute.

I know that smirk.

You've got a plan.

Why else would I call you here?

OK, well, make it quick.

If The Fish catches us

together, we're through.

- Should I get the guys together - for a meeting?

- No, no.

Actually, this plan kinda means

doing the exact opposite.

Normally,

we ask our friends for a bit

of help, right? This time,

our friends are gonna help us

without them even knowing.

We're about to become

the worst roommates

in the history

of rooms... or mates.

I call it Operation Doommates.

Then Sturgeon threw some butter

and someone threw some icing in,

and then it just turned into

this huge epic food fight

right on stage.

Such tales of waste, Bruno!

You could've fed

dozens instead!

Macdonald Hall

is a dream school.

Every day, it's zany antics.

What are you doing?

Oh, just talking to Francisco,

your Malbonian video pen pal.

Hey, Elmer!

Yeah, my Malbonian

video pen pal!

Hey, Franny, you should

totally come to the Hall!

You know, maybe there's,

like, an exchange or...

No! No, no, no, no, no!

Come to MacDonald Hall?

Where students sell doorknobs

and don't go to jail?

Where are my test tubes?

Ah man, you know what?

The charity drive came by today.

They must have taken it.

Bruno, those were

highly concentrated

skunk pheromones

I was collecting for a year!

If one of those

test tubes breaks,

it'll be skunk mating

season for months!

Elmer, I'm sorry,

I had no idea.

What is that?

Oh, Mr. Captain Cuddles?

- I've had him for like ten years.

- Have you guys not met?

Wherever he goes, I go.

Isn't that right, Mr. Cuddles?

Aren't you cute?

Look at you, you're so cute!

Well, you can rest assured,

because when it comes to

collateralized debt obligations,

I happen to be

a bit of an expert.

Hello? Hello?

Hello? What are you doing?

This simply cannot be!

Oh, sorry, George.

I gotta be ready for

the Junior Jazz Ensemble.

The show is only

three months away!

This just

cost me a client!

I'll try and play as quietly

as I possibly can.

See? It's like

I'm not even here!

Ms. Davis? Ms. Davis!

[GEORGE AND ELMER

It was so loud I could

feel it in my chest!

- I can't believe

- this is working.

Hey, I made a promise,

didn't I?

Rinse and repeat until

we're roomies again.

Alright, alright, alright!

Take it easy, Einstein!

Don't get your fifties

in a knot. Here.

Fill out these roommate

request forms.

Now you need to

build up an appetite.

I stick to you like glue

You're my weekend

I like what you did

'Sup, roomie?

Hey, this isn't

your food, is it?

This isn't gonna work out.

Um, you boys wouldn't be

intentionally bad fits for all

your new roommates, would you?

Mr. Sturgeon, I can honestly

say we would be terrible fits

with anybody.

We're trying our best, sir.

Ah, don't worry.

There are over 300 new boys

for you to try harder with.

Operation Doommates just got

a "snore-midable" improvement.

You gotta be kidding me!

- Aw, man! Come on,

- be quiet, let me sleep!

Incoming.

Here we go again.

Do angels live here?

No, I don't drink tea.

Actually, you know,

I'll give it a try.

Ah! Thank you.

Man, I've been on fire!

Bro, most of these kids

- don't even last

- a single night with me!

Carlos, done.

Brian J., done.

That Gordon kid that never

stopped typing, done.

Wow! That's great,

man, really.

- If you've been

- keeping up with me,

We have got to be through most

of the roommate options by now.

Gimme your names,

I'll cross them off.

I'm... kind of still

living with Chris.

What? Dude, it's been

over a week!

Doesn't he drive you crazy,

- always never talking,

- always so quiet?

Well...

Mumsie, look! The Duke of

Bermondsey's driving a lorry,

and he's wearing a jumper!

Cheerio!

So he really is British.

Super British.

Dude, it's been over a week!

Meanwhile, I've been

burning through roommates

like sulfuric acid

burns through iron.

I think I still have

some residual Elmer on me.

I know, but Chris

is a good guy.

I don't know, I kinda

like living with him.

What's wrong? Do you need a

hand? 'Cause I can come by...

No, no. Tonight's

- watercolor night.

- Excuse me?

I... it's

just a thing...

that we do. Obviously,

- I didn't have the greatest

- technique at first,

But he really helped me

work on my brush strokes

and my use of negative space,

and the whole thing

just came to...

What?

I like painting!

Whatever. We just need

to stick to the plan.

- Don't you think that maybe

- we've been taking

- Some of this

- Doommate stuff pretty far?

You'll get over it, dude.

All we're doing is slightly

annoying people

for a good cause. We're like

mosquitoes who recycle.

Well, maybe I don't

wanna be Chris' mosquito.

Are you forgetting why

we're doing this, dude?

You know, "I can't

handle change, Bruno!

Help me, Bruno! I'm

nothing without you!"

Okay, I remember the first two,

not so sure about the last one.

I know what you meant.

Anyways, don't you still

wanna live together?

Of course!

I swear. Just...

maybe we should take a break

for a couple days, you know,

make sure we still have

some friends left.

I suppose next you'll want me

to give back Elmer's pheromones.

Hey!

That's the spirit! C'mon!

Let's go.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What are you doing here? I...

Elmer's pheromones, please.

There's three words that

should never go together.

- Have you tried

- buying him dinner?

What happened

to Operation Doommates?

Thank you.

But he's been practicing

his brush stroke technique.

Not to be a drama llama,

but are you guys okay?

Never better.

- I'll take that.

- No, you need

To get back to Chris.

I said I got it.

You don't trust me now?

Come on, dude, gimme the phero...

Ugh, that stuff reeks!

We are so sorry. We will

- stay and clean up.

- Uh, no.

We have no time.

We have to get you back

to that canvas. See you, gals!

Okay...

Uh...

Are you serious?

- So they can use a little

- air freshener!

What's the worst that

could actually happen?

Uh... that?

And that.

We should go.

Really should.

Boys, a couple of things

have come to my attention.

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