But I'm a Cheerleader Page #3

Must be tough

when you're such a priss.

Your turn.

- (buzzing)

- Ow!

You really have to be more prepared

for temptation, Megan.

(sighs)

Give it to me.

I'm open.

Mike:
Boys!

Don't you see how sad

and pathetic you all are,

always wanting something

you can't have?

If I catch you looking

at another man like that

ever again,

you'll be watching sports

the whole weekend.

Mary:
First thing we do,

is we pull these tabs out.

Then you fold it over.

Right now I've used

food coloring.

This way you could

see it better.

And if it's a boy, well it

- tinkles out.

- That's the wrong tab, okay?

Will you please hold it still

while I'm doing this?

You're doing it all wrong.

No, I'm not. If you would just

give it to me to do,

it would be fine.

Mary:
Girls...

intervene.

Let's try that one more time.

...and I realized

that when we finished

swimming lessons

we would change

in front of each other.

And that's it...

why I'm a homo.

Andre, that's what kids do

after swimming lessons.

Change,

everybody does that.

But I took one look

at those boys,

and I got a...

you know what.

(coughs)

I can relate to that.

When I used to study with Jacob,

we used to touch each others legs,

and rub up against each other.

Blowing each other after

your f***in' bar mitzvah's

a little bit different

than learning to dog paddle.

That is totally uncalled for.

Well excuse me, but we're paying

a lot of money here

to get these kids fixed,

not sit around,

and listen to stories all day.

Graham, I hope you're getting

a little more out of this program

than that f*ggot over there.

Mr. Eaton,

I don't find that appropriate.

No, he's right,

it was a stupid ass root.

I'm never gonna know why

I'm a f*ggot.

I've heard enough

of this crap.

And when you get back

from Switzerland,

you'd better have this gay thing

out of your system. Got it?

I got it.

You f*** up, no college,

no car, no trust fund.

I'm not sitting

in any room with faggots.

Mary:
Megan...

it's your turn to report

out your root.

I think it might be

my parents.

Okay, go with that.

You know we've kinda been

like this greeting card family.

And then there was

that one year where...

well Dad was unemployed

and Mom had to support us.

Wait a minute,

that was only for nine months.

And then I was offered

a much better job at the plant.

Maybe seeing Mom

kind of being the Dad, maybe l...

maybe I got the wrong idea

about the roles of men and women.

Absolutely.

I can't believe that you didn't

mention this earlier.

Your father was emasculated,

your mother was domineering.

Well not exactly.

You wanted to emulate your mother.

You have no respect for men,

because you don't respect your father.

- It's really not like that.

- Megan,

you have found your root.

In order to start healing

this festering wound,

I want you to write a song.

It's very therapeutic,

and it's good to put

your feelings down.

(blows whistle)

Free time is up in 20.

That means inside.

What is it?

Nothing. Trash.

What am I, contagious?

What is that?

I'm stuck on

five, six, seven, eight.

- God is good.

- God is straight.

Hey that's good.

It's not supposed

to be intellectual.

Cheers are supposed to be simple,

make people feel good.

Cheers make girls

do stupid cartwheels,

orgasms make people feel good.

Your parents didn't

stay very long.

I imagine it gets uncomfortable

sitting that long

with a stick up your ass.

I'm sure they're just trying

to do what's best for you.

I thought it was just an act,

but you really are

as sweet as f***ing pie,

aren't you?

This is bullshit, Megan.

It doesn't work.

You are who you are.

The only trick is not getting caught.

How'd you end up here?

I got caught.

Doing what?

I had this friend,

and we just spent

a little too much time together.

What were you doing?

What do you think?

My step-mom caught us in my room

one day and sent me here.

Were you in love with her?

Does it matter?

Careful.

I could report you for that.

# Open the door #

# Walk in behind her #

# Draw back your bow #

# Let it remind her #

# No one's around #

# No need to fake it #

# She's not in love #

# How can she take it? #

# Give her the time #

# She'll know you mean it #

# Make up her mind #

# Throw in her feelings #

# Open the door #

# Have her jump through it #

# She fell in love #

# How could she do it? #

# Do you know? Do you... #

(buzzing)

(moaning)

(whispering)

Resist temptations...

(heavy breathing)

(gasps)

Oh my God.

Please don't tell.

Oh my God, help.

Shut the f*** up!

You stupid little b*tch.

- (electric buzz)

- Ahhh!

Hey!

What's going on in here?

- A little premature simulation?

- They were kissing.

- She's full of sh*t.

- Mike, we were just uh...

- Mike...

- Don't call my mom.

Dolph, I am really

disappointed in you.

I thought you had what it took

to get out of here clean.

It's time to wake Mary.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Mary:
Whoever started this

is out of this house,

and the other is really

in the dog house.

- Clayton:
Not me.

- Dolph:
I can't go home.

Mary:
I am not interested

in anybody's sob stories.

I can only help those

who are willing to help themselves.

Now... who started this?

Someone has got to start talking!

All right, Clayton, you little pervert...

- What?

...you've got one week of solitary,

and if I catch you again you're out.

(sighs)

Come on, Mary.

I wish I could've seen

those two boys in action,

before Miss Thing over there,

went Nancy Drew on us.

If that little twink

woulda narked on me,

heads would have rolled.

Would you tie her to your bed

and zap her to death?

Or are you running low

on batteries?

Mary:

And here are our love-birds,

taking a relaxing

evening stroll together.

Notice how affectionate they are.

This could be you.

And here is our

happy couple at home.

Now it's important to make

your man feel at ease

when he comes home

from a long day at work.

Now, when it's time

for lovemaking,

Dan kisses Sue

and touches her breasts.

Women often find

this sensation pleasurable.

# There's a dream

in the back of my mind #

# Across the tracks is where

I'll find my dream... #

# Trailer, trailer,

pretty trailer #

# Trailer, trailer,

pretty trailer #

# Talk penny, sing a dime #

# My Coleman stove

is broke down all of the time #

# Neighbor, neighbor,

call the neighbor #

# We'll have dinner

in the trailer... #

So do you miss

your friends from home?

I just can't decide

who I miss more,

the grunting apes in the letterman jackets

or the bulimic cheerl...

Go ahead, say it.

I didn't... I didn't mean that.

I don't have any friends.

What about you?

Well, I thought I did.

- Do they know you're here?

- Oh yeah.

It's rough.

What's going on?

It's almost lights out.

We're sneaking out.

Get dressed.

But Mary...

F*** Mary.

No way.

There's only four weeks left.

There's no way

I'm getting thrown out now.

Megan, they're never gonna

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