But I'm a Cheerleader Page #4

find about this.

We haven't had fun in forever.

Come on.

We could use a little fun.

- What if we get caught?

- Were not gonna get caught.

If you're not coming with us,

at least don't rat on us.

Let's go.

Come on. Hurry up.

Go, go, go.

Oh we have a nice big group tonight.

Get in.

- Okay, fasten your seatbelts.

- Wait.

Oh. We have one more.

- Well it's about f***ing time.

- I can't believe I'm doing this.

Hi. I'm Lloyd Morgan-Gordon.

This is Larry Morgan-Gordon.

Glad to have you with us.

You'll need one of these.

It may not be an exact match, but...

First time you've all been AWOL?

Larry and Lloyd are ex, ex-gays.

From True Directions?

We were among Mary's ranks

before we defected.

We're just trying to provide you all

with a balanced perspective,

to see that there are options.

In the end it's up to you

whether choose to live a...

lie.

Whether you want

to be who you are

or keep it hidden,

is really more what we're about.

So you run like,

the underground homo railroad?

(dance music playing)

Come on, girls.

You didn't tell me you were

taking me to a gay bar.

Where else would we go?

- I'm gonna get you a drink.

- I don't drink.

I refuse to accept a false

solution to my problem.

I resist temptation

and seek to solve my problem.

- I refuse to accept a false...

- What are you doing?

- My interventions.

- You know you don't have to do that.

Just be yourself.

# Baby #

# You're making me want you... #

Hi. Would you like to dance?

- Sure she does.

- No, sorry. I can't.

That's okay.

Just thought I'd ask.

No problem.

Too good for one dance?

You can't dance with a girl

for a second? Go ahead.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Sorry.

I don't dance much.

That's okay.

# Making me care,

do doo doo #

# Do doo, doo, doo... #

# Baby... #

# You're making me want you #

# Want you #

# And baby... #

# You're making me love you #

- # Love you #

- # We're in the city, city #

# You're making me love you #

# We're in the city, city #

# Makin' me love you... #

Megan, it's not what you think.

That's why we came here, right?

So you could be yourself.

- I don't like Sinead that way.

- Which way is that, clothed?

We weren't doing anything.

When you were going like this,

you weren't doing anything?

No I wasn't...

I wasn't doing that.

It doesn't matter.

- Why are you freaking out?

- It's none of my business.

Do what you want.

You want me to do what I want?

- I could care less.

- What I really want?

Screw you.

I'm not supposed to like you.

But?

I wanna do that again.

(cheering, music plays)

What are you looking at?

Ah! Mary's coming!

- Good night.

- Good night.

# Here I go falling down

down, down #

# My mind is a blank #

# My head is spinning

around and around #

# As I go deep into

the funnel of love #

# It's such a crazy,

crazy feeling #

# I get weak in the knees... #

Come on,

throw out the first thing

that comes to your head.

Okay, just think.

I already did.

Mine is just as good

as anybody else's.

I'm a heterosexual.

Not yet, honey.

You're almost there.

And don't speak out of turn.

No, I know, I've never been gay.

Jan remember,

you were molested.

Just take a look at yourself.

Everybody thinks I'm this big dyke

because I wear baggy pants,

and play softball,

and I'm not as pretty as other girls,

but that doesn't make me gay.

I like guys.

I can't help it.

I want a big fat wiener up my...

Amen, sister.

(sniffs)

I quit.

Who in the hell

is she trying to fool?

Hey, Jan.

Jan.

Group.

I have found something

very disturbing this morning.

I would like to know

who has been sneaking out,

with those smut peddling

recruiters?

I want names.

I want to know who is involved.

Fine then. Graham?

What do you have to say

for yourself?

Why are you looking at me?

Because I found these

under your bed.

Do you have anything

you'd like to confess?

I didn't sneak out.

But you know who did.

No, I don't, but um...

I did realize something

about myself last night,

that I was too scared

to admit until now.

Out with it.

Come on, out with it.

I have a crush.

On Joel.

It was the first time I really

felt something for a guy.

And it just... it really proved

to me the treatment's working.

Oh, Graham.

Now, let this show you

what determination has yielded.

Fruit.

Now I want you all

to look at Graham's strength,

and how she worked her way

through this five-step program.

And by the way, I am very

disappointed in the rest of you.

And I have scheduled a meeting

with each of your parents.

If you can't listen to me,

then perhaps you'll listen to them.

Joel:
No, I didn't go

to the Cocksucker.

I've never been to the Cocksucker.

I won't.

My cocksucking days are over.

I am normal.

Mom, Dad, you have to believe me,

I swear I didn't go anywhere.

You're not gonna tell

your parents are you?

(chimes)

Now, honey,

your mom and I both know

that you didn't have

anything to do with that...

- that...

- Field trip to the Cocksucker.

- Field trip to the Co...

but... if you had gone...

You have to know

that you would be on your own.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well you can't come home.

We can't allow you to live

an unhealthy lifestyle under our roof.

So, Megan, if that

is what you choose,

you're choosing to cut us

out of your life.

Well, great. Great.

Now, what did you

want to tell us?

Just that you don't have

anything worry about.

I've been missing Jared a lot,

and can't wait to see him again.

Oh, Megan. That's wonderful.

You just keep up

the good work,

and we'll be back

to see you graduate.

Dad:
You'll be home

before you know it.

Bye-bye, sweetie.

- You be a good girl.

- Goodbye, dear.

Hmph!

(answering machine)

This is Larry and Lloyd Morgan-Gordon.

Leave us a message.

(beep)

I know you're there.

Now pick it up.

Listen to me,

you little inverts.

Okay, you want to play

rough with my kids,

then I can play rough with you.

- Time's up.

- Yes, thank you.

We've got a little situation

to deal with.

(Chanting)

Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!

Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!

Mary:

You have other options.

Don't you want to be normal?

Hey, I know you.

I saw you last night.

Hey!

Your daddy know you're a f*ggot?

Good shot, Graham.

What are you doing?

What if he saw us kissing?

What do you want me to do?

We're not queer!

We're not going anywhere!

We are here! We're not queer!

We're not going anywhere!

That's it. If you don't retreat,

we're coming out.

(screaming)

Is this what you teach now, Mary?

Throw stones from glass houses?

You're gonna have a lot

of broken glass around you.

It's part of the process, Lloyd.

It's not easy for them.

- Excuse me

- Oh, thanks.

You are so good

at being straight.

Wow. You have really

big muscles.

I keep forgetting about

all these little things.

Get her cake.

Get her the cake.

Can I rub them?

Got a little cake right there.

That's good.

Oh. Yeah.

Mm-mm.

You're really manly.

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