Can't Buy Me Love Page #5

Oh, yo, pats, keep an eye on my guy.|I gotta hit the little girl's room.

All right. Hurry up.

Air!

- Guess what.|- What?

You're taking me to|the Columbus Day Dance on the 16th.

- I am?|- Yep.

Well, what about Barbara?|I thought she was your best friend.

Well, she is.|But, I mean, you know.

Friends share their stuff with friends.|You know what I mean?

Sure, friend. No problem.

I bet you're a really sexy dancer.

Oh, yes, you won that wager. I have|moves that defy the laws of gravity.

Ooh, I'll bet you do.

I'll see you later, okay?

Bye.

Dancer.

Moves. Sh*t.

So... how was he?

Hmph. Wouldn't you like to know?

Don't worry. I will.

I bet you're a really sexy dancer.

Oh, come on. Watch this.|I bet he'll kick him.

- One.|Mm-hmm.

Chuck? Chuck, I need|the TV for a few minutes.

- No.|- Oh, Chuck, I just need to see the end of American Bandstand.

No.

please, Chuck, I'm beggin' ya.

What we have here is something I just|learned called the law of supply and demand.

I shall supply you this remote control,|but I'm going to demand, say, uh, two bucks.

Wrong! That is not how|the economic theory works.

Look, I learned it|in seventh grade, not Harvard.

Okay, let me give you|the theory of relativity.

Either you put on Bandstand now,|or I have one less relative.

I'll put on Bandstand just for you.

My famous gourmet pop...

First screen shaves...

Spotlight dance. Ultra New Wave music.

He's watchin' American Bandstand.

I'm talkin' cheerleaders,|football players, local socialites.

He's not even associating|with Kenneth anymore.

Come on, Chuckie. I think it's|groovy that he's makin' new friends.

- He's allowed to have fun.|- He is?

- And, besides, I was talkin' to Ma, Dad.|- Oh, honey.

It's like the dude's|not weird anymore.

Now that ain't Dick Clark.

We thank our two exchange|students from Lower Swahili,

Charles Kibangi and Sandy Ubuki, for|recreating the African anteater ritual...

here on pBS African Cultural Hour.

African Cultural Hour?

Ow!

## Though she's trading favors When|she tells me I believe her now ##

Wow. Let me see you really quick.

# Mm-hmm #

- Hey, let's go dance!|- In a minute, babe.

- You know, I don't quite feel it yet with this tune.|- That's cool. All right.

- #Oh, but she's an actress #|- # Actress #

# And I don't believe her|No #

- # But she's an actress #|- # Actress #

- #I don't believe her #|- # Believe her #

##Believe her|Believe her ##

Here you go. Thanks.

That's a buck apiece, guys.

Kenneth, this is your big idea.|Why don't you pay for this?

Oh!

Come on,you guys.

#Oh, baby #

# You know just what to do #

So do you work as hard|off the field as you do on?

Well, uh, I did letter|in three indoor sports.

What a wonderful group|of young adults we have this year.

But I better check the bathrooms.

One, two, three, four.

- Hello, Ronald.|- Oh, hi, Mr. Webbly.

- Let's mingle.|Look, it's the nerd herd.

Whoo!

Ronnie, you're|becoming a punchaholic.

Come on. Let's get out there and|dance. I mean, this is a dance.

It's what we're here to do,|right, is dance?

Come on, please.|Let's get out there and boogie.

- Let's dance!|Wait for me!

All right!

# Eyes with mystery|A lonely girl so alone #

Whoo!

##I've been living|all my life ##

## To meet a girl like you ##

##I could touch you|really nice ##

# While the fire|came in the room #

# All night, all night #

- What a spaz.|- Oh, he must be in Special Ed.

##All night, all night ##

##Baby loves it all night ##

# Angel in the light #

# Dancin' right beside me #

That's bizarre.

But if the Ronster's doin' it,|it must be new.

##So strong##

- ##I've been waiting|all my life ##

## Wanting a girl like you ##

##I could touch you many nights ##

## While fire surrounds the moon ##

##All night, all night ##

# Baby loves it all night #

Try it!

# All night, all night #

# Baby loves it all night #

##Ooh, ooh, ooh... ohh ##

Hey! Yo!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Yeah!

Ow!

## While fire surrounds|the moon ##

- Hey!|- It's the African anteater ritual!

All right!

- Oh, I had a great time.|- Out of sight.

Hey, that dance was|pretty severe there.

Yeah, where'd you|get those hot moves?

- I have friends in exotic places.|- Oh, yeah, like where?

- I'll be right back.|- Rio?

- paris?|- No, really exotic. Beautiful downtown Burbank.

- Cind, babe!|- Here you go.

Look, the name is Cindy,|and don't call me babe.

- Just wanted to say hello.|- Then just say it!

Why don't you get tranquil?|I was just tryin' to be friendly.

Why don't you be friendly|with your flock, okay?

- I owe all my friends to you.|- Ha! Like I really want credit for this.

I mean, your disciples|are making fools of themselves.

I mean, I've seen zombies|with more individuality.

Yeah, like your college boy.|What's his name? Biff?

Don't give me that.|His name happens to be Brent.

There's a difference?

## Take your lover by the hand|Speak in tongues and understand ##

##Ahhh ##

Alone at last.

##French kissin'|in the U.S.A.##

- Hi, friend.|- Hi.

You're awfully far away.

I'm sorry.

So, tell me...

are, um... are you into|long-distance relationships?

- No.|- No?

Then why don't you reach out|and touch someone?

Hello.

I happen to know|that in the whole school...

there's only one other tittie|quite this pretty.

- Really?|- Mm-hmm.

And this is it.

Yep! That's it.

I bet you've never|seen two like these before.

Well, my parents do have cable.

- Oh, they do, do they?|- Mm-hmm.

- Mmm. Don't you want to touch me?|- Oh!

Oh!|Wow! I can't believe this.

Oh, God!

Seventeen years,|three months and five days.

That's a long time|to wait for some tit.

Without an atmosphere...

the Earth would be|a far different place.

It might look like the moon.

Our exploration of the moon showed us|that it is nearly a dead planet today.

But it provided one very|important piece of information.

I haven't seen or heard|from you in three weeks.

I'm not a mutant, Ron.|I realize I may be obsolete...

in your new world,|but I'm not dead.

We know nowthat the moon, as well as all|the other bodies in the solar system...

were heavily bombarded|in their first billion years.

- Then about three-and-a-half|billion years ago...

this bombardment slowed to a bare|trickle as most of the solid chunk...

You got it there, son?

Whoa, oh, oh, Ronald!|No mischief tonight.

Nowthe police are really|crackin'down this year.

Oh, Dad, come on.|Have a little faith.

See ya.

- All right, we set up there?|- Yep.

Check it out.|We got spoilt tomatoes...

- Yeah.|- rotten eggs and the piece de resistance.

- The shitbomb!|- Ha! Human feces?

No, doggy doo. But it's just|as efficient, bro. Here, sniff.

- Ah, sniff this... God!|Hey, Ronnie.

- Here you go.|- Whose house are we doin'?

Ah, dig, classic, man.

We have done the same house|four years in a row.

- It's like tradition now, huh, Ricky?|- You know it!

And yours, son, is|the most important mission.

Drop that net on any punk|that gets near our front door.

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