Can't Buy Me Love Page #6

I'm gonna personally|deliver one of them to the police.

Yes, sir!

So I was telling you, you know,|this guy is, like, totally rad.

Excuse me. Ronnie said that you|said that friends share, patty.

- You've had him two weeks...|- You mean, she's attacked him for two weeks.

Whoa, wait a minute!|First of all, if I recall correctly...

you still have Bobby.

Secondly, you quit Ronnie,|so that makes him public property.

You guys, that's real romantic.|I mean, he sounds like a restroom.

First of all, I don't have Bobby.

And secondly, I didn't think|that my best friends...

would be draped all over him|like a cheap...

Why not, Cin?|He's cute, sweet.

Good.

Oh, come on, you guys.|A lady never talks.

Yeah, next time I see one,|I'll remember that.

Oh.

Shh!

Shh! Shh!

- You're sick!|- There's the target.

All right.

Oh, sh*t. Y-You know...|I know a better house.

- It's not very far from here. It's right down this street.|- Our senior year.

Our last mission.

The final shitbomb.

- It's tradition and sh*t. Let's go!|- Go on!

Listen up. We divert 'em on each|flank, and you shitbomb the front door.

- No! I won't do it!|- I told you he wouldn't do it!

- You're still a nerd, huh?|- Give me the sh*t!

- No! I'll do it.|- Come on!

I don't want to do this!

Do it now!

- Come on, Ronnie!|- Throw it, Ronnie!

- Throw it!|- Come on. Throw it!

- Come on!|- Sh*t.

- Yeah! Bull's-eye!|- Whoo-hoo!

- I got one!|- I'm comin'!

- No, you're not!|- Keep him pinned down!

- Come on, BigJohn!|Keep him down!

Ronnie, let's go! Come on!

Get the hell out of there!

- Come on,John!|- Yeahhh! Let's get outta here, man!

You hold the little bastard!

Come on. Let's go! Whoo-hoo!

There must've been|a hole in the net.

We'll get 'em next year.

I don't think he'll be back.

This is a fine-looking bird,Judy.

This is what got me|an "A" in French class.

Ronald.

- Thank you.|- You're welcome.

Let's see yours, sibling.

Ahh... I didn't get mine yet.

You're the only one from|kindergarten through college who didn't.

- You didn't get yours yet?|- Let me repeat!

- I did not get mine yet!|- Relax.

There's no reason|to raise your voice.

Back to nursery school.

Look, these are my friends, okay?

Say hello to your friends when you get|me a chocolate milkshake, extra thick.

- What?|- Read my lips.

Chocolate milkshake, extra thick.

Two C's, three B's and one "A."

Outstanding, son!

Major improvement, Chuckie.

Oh, yeah. Big deal.|Three B's and two C's?

I've been getting|straightA's since birth.

- So?|- So!

So everybody doubts the whereabouts|of my report card. That's real fair.

- Nobody doubts you. You said you didn't get it yet.|- And I didn't!

- It's just parental concern.|- See, here is the primate example.

You're raising a doll-chopping homicidal maniac,|and what do you do every time you see him?

You give him money.

Great.

- Chilling!|- Shut up, Chuck.

- I was talkin' to Ma, Dad.|- Shut up, Chuck!

Here's your shake.

I said thick! This isn't thick!

Oh, well, let me check|the consistency.

Looks thick to me.

No!

What are you doing home?

I thought you had a date with Rock.

Well... I figured|I had enough turkey for one day.

- Me too.|- Tsk.

There's a good movie on TV.

- Oh, yeah?|- Yeah.

- All right, let's make it a date.|- Oh, sweetheart.

- I love you.|- I love you too, Mom.

Hey, Kenneth!

Let me explain.|I took it long enough.

Will you talk to me? Damn it!

Well, have it your way, psycho,|but you ain't invited.

Invited to what, man?|What are you talking about?

- My house. New Year's Day?|- A party, man?

Bowl games, salami,|cheesecake... Yeah!

If I can recover from my party,|book me a couch.

- You got it!|- Book me a bed.

We have a lot of fun.

- Somebody wants your ass bad, man.|- Who is it?

Get it!

Hey. Hi.

- Long time no talk, huh?|- Yeah, I been kind of busy.

Yeah, well, that's popularity.|It's real time-consuming.

Um... I was thinking that maybe sometime|you and I could go to the airplane graveyard?

You're not under any contractual|obligation to me anymore.

I wrote a new poem.|It's called"Broken Moon. "

- Um, it starts...|- Why don't you save it for your college boy?

I wrote it for you.

You ignored the Donald Miller dork|for 17 years.

Now you wanna ride|on the Ronnie Miller express.

I don't wanna ride|the Ronnie Miller anything.

Looks like you're the only one.

Who? Iris?

Oh, yeah, she's a big conquest.|She's given more rides than Greyhound.

Well, at least her ticket|won't cost me a thousand bucks.

Cindy!

- Hi, Ronnie.|- Excuse me.

Happy New Year, pal.

Happy New Year, man. Have a beer.

- Clark County!|- Big John!

Quinton is in!|Let the fun begin!

God, you're an a**hole, man.

- Hey, powerful punch, Barbs.|- I haven't poured the punch in yet.

- Cindy, that's straight vodka.|- All right.

- Great outfit.|- I asked my mom if I could use it and she said yes.

- Ah, progressive concept.|- We make a great couple: me and my outfit.

Oh. Sorry Bobby couldn't|come home for the holidays.

You must really miss him.

I've learned to appreciate the finer things|in life. I even travel with my own wine.

You never know the quality|you may encounter at a soiree.

Very classy.

Mm-hmm. I'm into class.|It's my new thing.

Oh, whoops. Sorry.

So sorry. So dumb. I'm so wasted.

Oh... I am so wasted.|Lie down. Just for a second.

- Hey, we're closed|for the holidays!

- God. Hey, take it easy, guys.|- Close it, please!

Geez!

Oh, Ronnie, I'm so happy...

I'm going out with|the hottest guy in school.

- Oh, I am hot.|- Face it, Ronnie. You're it right now.

Oh... I'm it,|and that's why you're with me.

Oh.

No. You won't respect me.

I respect you. Immensely.

And intensely.

- You do?|- I do.

"This summer, my wish is for you|to hold me...

"in your arms...

"in a sea of deep blue...

"together at last,|together...

- as two. "|- Oh, Ronnie.

- Damn, Bobby, what are you doin' here?|- It's New Year's.

##From the walls of Tokyo I've|come to London town to go ##

So, Ricky and John tell me|you're a connoisseur of fine wines.

No sh*t? Are you new here?

Uh-huh. I just transferred.

Mmm.

Thanks, man. I owe you one.

##And I'm dancin'|with myself... oh, oh ##

Hey, you guys! It's 11:27.

- 33 more minutes!|- Whoo! Yeah!

Ronnie! Iris!|Come here. Have a brew.

##Dancin' with myself...|Oh, oh ##

To true friends...|and a wild lady.

- The only way to fly.|- I'll drink to that.

##But your empty eyes|Seem to pass me by ##

Check it out, Bobby.

##So let's sink another drink|'Cause it'll give me time to think ##

- The man. The mick. What's happenin'?|- Quinton.

Who's Iris' latest victim?

Oh,you got it backwards,|Bobby. He's victimizing her.

##Dancin' with myself ##

- Ronnie Miller's nailed every wench in school.|- Ronald Miller?

He couldn't get nailed in wood shop.

Well, the man has reached|legendary status this year, bro.

You ain't a legend 'til you score|the captain of the cheerleaders.

##Ooohhhh... Ooowwww ##

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