Can't Buy Me Love Page #7

Come on. I don't buy it.

Cindy?

Hey, no freakin' way!

Come on, Quint! Don't even think|of holdin' out on me...

or I'll kill you.

## Well, I looked|all over the world ##

##And there's every|type of girl ##

Bobby!

##Leave me dancin' with myself|So let's sink another drink ##

Hi! How are you?

## 'Cause it'll give me time|to think If I had a chance... ##

- John. John.|- Go get 'im.

Cindy and Bobby's relationship|is so totally together.

He's a lawn boy.|He makes 35 cents an hour.

Listen up, dude.|The sh*t's gonna hit the fan.

- Listen!|I'm not gonna put up with it!

- We were faking, okay?|- Bullshit!

No, it was an act.|Bobby, he paid me!

Then that makes you a prostitute!

##Oh, oh, oh-ohh ##

- ##Oh, oh, oh-ohh ##|- You!

##Oh, oh, oh-ohh|Dancin' with myself ##

##Oh, oh, oh-ohh Oh, my room's|all wet with my sweat... ####

You!

Even Bobby thinks we went out.|Great, huh? Ha!

All of you thought|we were a couple. What a joke!

Ronald Miller paid me 1,000 bucks|to pretend I liked him.

What a deal, huh?

$1,000 to go out with him|for a month. This guy.

Oh, God. He bought me.

And he bought all of you.

He was sick and tired|of being a nobody.

Yeah, and he said that all of you|guys would worship him if we went out.

And I didn't believe that.|I was, like, no way!

And he was right!|No, leave me alone.

He was right. Our little plan|worked, didn't it, Ronald?

The dance. That stupid dance!

What a bunch of followers|you guys are.

I mean, at least I got...

At least I got paid.

Come on.

Ricky? John?

Get out of my house.

Uh... Yeah. We'll clear|everything up tomorrow.

Everything is cool, really.

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

Excuse me.|Good night now. Excuse me.

You ready to go?

- Um... I don't know you.|- You sure knew me earlier.

I don't know|what you're talking about.

Happy New Year.

Hey, it could be worse.|We could be alone like that poor guy.

All right.

Ronald Miller... Ugh! So, anyways...

Damn, bro. He's in Siberia.

I know, man. The mutants over|there won't even go near him.

You know, I knew he was|scamming us all along.

He went from, like,|totally chic to totally geek.

Look at that. He's been banished!

He should have known that our|kind won't mix with their kind...

Our kind? Their kind? That's B.S.

He may be a moral leper now, but he|had the fast lane for four months.

Yeah, that's a good point. $250|a month for those cheerleaders...

- isn't an unwise investment.|- Yeah?

Check this out, guys.|You're gonna love this.

Incoming!

- Direct hit.|- Yow!

Didn't you take economics?|You could've had me for $49.95.

Incoming!

It's the nerd-mobile.

Yeah, right...|on automatic pilot.

Like we're not supposed to know|who's spying on us...

in the spaz-mobile.

I could've sworn that a couple of girls I|knew got very comfortable in that spaz-mobile.

Okay, this is my high score.

Dave,you can beat me!

Yeah,yeah,yeah!

You could at least|acknowledge my existence.

You think this is easy for me?

I know I was an a**hole to you|and to thousands of others.

But, Kenneth... Kenneth, it's you|I gotta straighten this out with.

Aaah!

- You sh*t on my house, man!|- I know.

Go...

- Kenneth...|- You sh*t on my house!

You sh*t on my house.

I know, Kenneth.

I know.

The quizwill cover every muscle|from the levator scapula...

to the spinalis thoracis.

- T... U... C... - It will consist of|15 multiple choices and five mini-essays.

- S... O... N.|- Your score will then account...

- T... U... C... S... O... N.|- for 20% of your final grade.

Good luck.

Hi, Cindy.

I'm sorry about having|to come in here.

But I have to talk to you.

I realize what a jerk I became.

All I ever did|was think about you,

dream about being|part of your life.

And then I got that stupid idea.

And I let it turn me|into something I'm not.

You sure did, sicko pervert!|I remember you from the dance.

- You morally depraved psycho!|- Ow!

Detention... one month!

Becky, will you please|hand me that other one?

Thanks.

- You nuked my brother.|- What?

You took him from geek status|to king status to no status.

Chuckie Miller, right?

He's resorted to sending|his messenger boy?

Boy? I see no boy here!

You think you shut me up?

I didn't? Well, let me try again.

The babe said it was good|for my complexion.

Cynthia?

Cindy?

There's a call for you on my line.|Somebody named Donald.

I don't know anybody named Donald.

- Tell him I'm out of the country or something.|- Okay.

I know she's in the country,|Mrs. Mancini. I saw her today.

Well, my daughter|doesn't know anyone named...

Ronald, is that you?

Why did you say|your name was Donald?

Uh... I guess I made a mistake. Bye-bye.

Mom, what'd he say?

First, he's a geek.

And then you start going out with him.|And then he's a geek again.

Honey, I don't know|what a geek is.

I guess, at the present time,|a geek is Ronald Miller.

Who says? Hmm?

Oh, my God!

pow!

Would you stop it?

Stop it! The neighbors, man!

Listen, all right?|Hold on!Just turn it off!

My mother was calling the police, until|I told her you had a chemical imbalance...

and you are seeking|psychiatric help!

I need to talk to you.|- Fine.

Every time I called, you were either|taking a bath, washing your hair.

Or you were out of the country.|That was a good one, by the way.

I tried to get you alone at school,|but I got a month's detention.

Yeah, you're very big|in bathrooms, aren't you?

Cindy, just hear me out.|And then I'll leave you alone. Okay?

Oh! You t... You demolished me|New Year's Eve.

But see... I realize you did me a|favor. You brought me back to reality.

All I ever wanted to do|was get close to you.

And then, when I finally got|there, it wasn't me anymore.

Cindy... Oh, Cindy.

I was just hoping we could|sort this out, you know?

The real me and the real you.|That's all.

Okay.

- But not at 6:
00 in the morning.|- Okay.

I'll come back at 11:00.

I'll be washing my hair...|out of the country.

That's my favorite one.

Tell your mom I'm sorry.

Is that right?

- Good job.|- Really? Oh, my God!

- What's happening, guys?|- Hey, nerd alert, man. He's in our quadrant, too.

Kenneth Wurman with patty?|No way!

Thanks so much! I swear, I don't know|what I would have done without you. Really.

- No problem. J-Just, uh, take your|time and follow the steps. - Okay.

Kenneth Worm-man is trying to pull|a Ronald McDonald Miller scam on us.

- He's probably trying to pay her off.|- Relax, man. He's harmless.

I'm sending him back|to the minor leagues.

- Be cool, man.|- Hey, calm down.

Oh, man. He's gonna make|a fool of himself.

- Hey, what do you think you're doing over|here, twimp? - H-Helping her with some math.

- No, bullshit. You're trying to pull a Ronald Miller scam.|- A what?

You better get back to your own side, or I'm|gonna send you back to Geeksville in a milk carton!

Would you guys do something?

- Oh, return of the living dread.|- Why don't you lay off?

- Why don't you go back where you belong, hosehead?|- Take your hands off Kenneth.

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