Cat's Eye

Help me. Help me.

Up here. Look up here.

Help me.

You've got to find it.

lt's after me.

You've got to get back and find it.

You've got to stop it.

Please help me. You've got to help me.

Nice little pussycat.

You just saved me a trip to the pound.

What are you so excited about?

What am I, a cat psychologist?

Get in there.

Well, this is the place.

-I don't know about this, Jim.

-You said you wanted to quit these.

But I'd like to know--

Go on, Dickie, before you lose your guts.

-Why don't you come up with me?

-It doesn't work that way.

It's against the rules.

What is this, a ''quit smoking'' clinic

or the CIA?

It'll turn your life around, Dick.

I guarantee it.

That's what Jim Jones said

when he spiked the punch.

I guess this is where you come

to quit smoking, right?

-Fill one of these out, please.

-No, I have a pen.

Honey!

Are you all right?

Sweetheart....

No, no....

Oh, my precious. It's all right.

You'll be fine.

-Take me home, please.

-I will. Come on.

Hang on to me.

I've been a smoker for a long time.

Since I was 16.

It is very hard.

Come on, now, sweetheart.

The elevator is down here. One step....

-Excuse me--

-I'll take that.

Actually, I think I've changed my mind.

-Mr. Morrison?

-Yes?

-Sorry to keep you waiting.

-It's all right. I was just....

Come with me.

We're about to change your life.

For the better, I hope.

The founding father?

Please, Mr. Morrison.

I see you have a daughter who's 10.

Alicia.

You left the space for her school blank.

Where my daughter goes to school

has no connection with...

...whether or not you can help me

to quit smoking, Mr. Donatti.

-Are we going to get down to it, or not?

-Yes, of course.

In fact, we've already started

getting down to it.

Do you have cigarettes with you?

Does a bear sh*t in the woods?

May I have them, please?

Our methods here at Quitters Incorporated

are rather radical.

As a treatment, Mr. Donatti, they suck.

There's a newsstand down in the lobby,

they sell all brands.

Availability is only part of the problem.

The fallback rate for reformed smokers...

...is higher than the fallback rate

for heroin addicts.

You can spare me the Reader's Digest

lecture, my friend, because...

...I've changed my mind.

Will you open this door?

You've got a hell of a problem,

Mr. Morrison.

But we here at Quitters have developed

a hell of a solution.

You'll have a hell of a problem

if you don't open this door!

Relax, Mr. Morrison.

Here's something that might interest you.

Watch closely, Mr. Morrison.

Nothing up either sleeve...

...and you will notice at no time

does my hand leave my wrist.

The music is part of his conditioning.

Boogie down, baby.

What are you doing? Stop it!

You're killing him!

Kill the nice kitty? Oh, no, he's fine.

Maybe a little crispy around the paws,

but otherwise he's fine.

Damn it!

You barbecue all the cats you want.

If you don't let me out

inside of 15 seconds...

...I'll call the cops on you

faster than you can say ''Marlboro Man.''

You better listen to the big picture,

Mr. Morrison.

Quitters Incorporated was endowed

by a very important person.

After he died of lung cancer,

we realized there were techniques...

...he had developed

in the family business...

...that we can now use

to stop people from smoking.

Actually, this is a very nice tax gimmick...

...but mainly we're interested

in helping our fellow man.

For the first month our operatives

will have you under constant supervision.

You may see some of them all of the time.

You may see all of them some of the time,

but believe me, Mr. Morrison...

...you'll never see all of them

all of the time.

You smoke, they'll see you.

You'll bring me down here

and stick me in the old cat room?

No.

We'll bring your wife down here

and stick her in the cat room.

You get to watch.

l'm a man of medicine.

l'm expected to save lives...

...and ease suffering, and l love people.

Therefore, l would have no choice...

...but to kill the son of a b*tch!

''Kill the son of a b*tch.'' Good idea.

-What did you say?

-What?

Nothing. I was....

l can't believe this is happening.

lt's happening, Mr. Morrison.

First offense, your wife gets the juice.

Not too much, just enough to hurt.

Second time,

we bring your daughter Alicia here.

Imagine, Mr. Morrison, your daughter

in there instead of the cat.

The third offense, I'm afraid I'll have

to send someone out to rape your wife.

There's a rather disturbed individual

we keep around...

...just for such distasteful jobs.

ln the meantime...

...content yourself knowing

that only 2 percent of our clients...

...ever fall from grace a fourth time.

And if they do?

Then we give up, Mr. Morrison.

Oh, my God!

-What's wrong?

-I spilled my drink.

Dick, as long as you keep using

your left tit for a coaster, that will happen.

I have no idea what's going on

in this damn movie. Who writes this crap?

-Dick?

-What?

-What's wrong?

-Nothing.

You're like a bear tonight, what is it?

Nothing! Well, it's everything.

I mean, I quit smoking today.

Since when? Five minutes ago?

Since 2:
45 this afternoon.

You haven't had a cigarette in six hours?

Six hours and 23 minutes.

Cindy, I'm trying to get

some ice cream here. Okay?

What in the world

made you decide to quit?

I'm doing it for you...

...and for Alicia.

That's the sweetest thing I ever heard.

Even if you don't make it,

we both thank you.

I think I'll make it.

Hello?

Is somebody in there?

I didn't smoke it, see?

If you're in there, would you tell Donatti

that I didn't smoke it?

I actually was just coming to get...

...my golf clubs.

Want some coffee?

Jesus!

I assume that's a ''yes.''

Talk about aversion therapy.

That's it. That's it.

Daddy!

Hi, baby.

Okay, eyes closed? There we go.

Now we're skipping with eyes closed.

We're going to skip over to here.

Are those eyes closed?

I think they're open. Are they closed?

Are they real tight?

We don't want to spoil any surprises.

I think now it's time to open them.

Thank you, Daddy.

I'm glad you like it. You know what?

I love you, Alicia.

What's its name?

I think it's right here on the tag.

Hold on here. Its name is...

...''Norma Jean.''

Norma...

...Jean.

I love Norma Jean.

I'm glad, baby.

You got Norma Jean, you got her shoe,

and you got her adoption papers.

Now go back with the kids

and be a good girl.

You love her a lot, don't you?

One of your men was in my closet

last night. In my home!

-Really?

-Yes, really.

It's possible, I suppose.

Constant supervision for the first month...

...is what we promise,

and that's what the client gets.

-You're a son of a b*tch.

-Yes, I'm a son of a b*tch.

It takes a son of a b*tch to beat the habit.

People who are unable to turn into

sons of b*tches on their own behalf...

...come to us.

We give them what they need.

Believe me, we do.

I don't know what your hoods told you,

but I didn't smoke!

If you had lit that cigarette in your mouth,

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