Cat's Eye Page #2

you wouldn't be here now.

You'd be down at my office watching

your wife hop around in the little room.

You love your wife, you love your kid.

Unfashionable these days, but useful.

I think you'll make it, Mr. Morrison.

We'll be watching you.

If an a**hole like me

could stay in business....

I said it wasn't easy,

but with a**holes like him around...

...I got by.

-Not bad?

-No, not bad at all.

So he says, ''What do you think

the SEC's going to say...

''...when they hear about this?''

Two things:
First,

they'll say they heard it all before.

Second, they'll say P.T. Barnum was right.

There's a sucker born every minute.

Earth to Dick.

Earth to Dick Morrison. Come in, Dick!

I'm a little tired, kind of under the weather.

Have a cigarette.

No! Thanks, no. I'm sorry, I quit.

I did, really.

Sure.

No, two weeks ago, done.

Two weeks, two months, two years.

It doesn't matter!

A big presentation comes along,

a make-or-break meeting...

...a marathon sales conference.

Boom!

You'll be right back on them.

Come on, have a cigarette.

Come on, have a cigarette.

No, I gave those babies up.

Ding-ding, the smoking lamp is lit.

Dickie.

Shove it up your ass, Hal.

What? Lit?

Sh*t!

Cindy!

Cindy!

Cindy?

Hello, Mr. Morrison.

It seems we have

some business to attend to.

Will 5:
00 be all right?

It was just a slip, Mr. Donatti.

It was just a little slip. I mean, really.

I swear it won't happen again.

It's funny, it didn't even taste good.

-I'll count on you for 5:00, shall I?

-Look, Mr. Donatti--

Donatti!

Son of a b*tch! Where's my wife, you turd?

Hello, Mr. Morrison.

He got smart with his fists.

Unfortunately he's got dumb fists.

Where's Cindy?

Junk, you idiot!

Oh, fiddly sticks!

Here, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Forget the cat, you hemorrhoid!

Get the gun!

Get up, Mr. Morrison.

Let's not have any more of this foolishness.

I understand your agitation.

It will not be held against you.

-At least not by me.

-Please, Mr. Donatti.

You be a good boy, Mr. Morrison,

and don't provoke Junk again.

I will make this as brief as possible.

Your wife will not be hurt, this time.

Watch him, Junk.

Remember, it's just like

getting a shot at the doctor's office.

Would you stop it? You're killing her!

Take it easy, Mr. Morrison. She'll be fine.

I think you got some explaining to do.

Don't you?

Ain't you going to turn the sound up?

There's no reason to.

When you've been in the business as

long as I have, you get to know every line.

In 30 seconds she'll either squeeze him

hard enough to give him a hernia...

...or she'll slap him in the face

and walk out.

-$10 says that she slaps him.

-You're on.

Oh, darn.

No, no.

That's eight pounds in six months.

I don't think that's so bad.

An ounce of prevention

is worth a pound of cure.

73 percent of our clients get a weight

problem when they quit smoking.

I want you to get dressed,

and you and I will have a talk.

Junk, you think eight pounds

is bad in six months?

I think it's great.

So remember...

...some of these diet pills are illegal,

so use them sparingly.

I'm setting your maximum weight

at 165 pounds.

If I go over, you'll send a guy

to my house with a flamethrower?

I'll send a guy to your house

and cut off your wife's little finger.

-You kill me.

-Have a good day, Dick.

Cut off my wife's little finger.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

I think a toast is in order,

a toast is in order.

No throwing the glasses in the fireplace,

we don't want to wake the kids.

The ladies are entitled

to break their glasses.

To Quitters Incorporated.

To Quitters Incorporated.

To Quitters Incorporated.

To Quitters Incorporated.

Go on, scat! Go on.

Come on, Darcy, it's Gobbler time.

You just sit right there.

Gobblers is all that Darcy eats

because it's her most favorite.

Listen to me carefully:

lt's still looking for me.

You've got to get back and find it.

You're my only chance.

Lucky night, Mr. Cressner.

Don't jump to any conclusions.

The night ain't over.

-Good night, Mr. Cressner.

-Good night, sweetheart.

-Richard, cash these.

-You got it.

Buona notte, Mr. Cressner.

-Good night, Mr. C.

-Good night, Harry.

-Have you spoken to Ducky?

-Yes, Mr. Cressner.

He's got my wife and her friend in view?

She and the tennis guy

are in a white Mustang convertible.

Ducky's right on it. Right behind her.

Good. You're a good man.

So, folks, what's it going to be?

Dean Martin is at the Golden Nugget and

haven't seen him since I was a little girl.

Have you taken care

of your domestic problem?

-I got everything well in hand.

-Good.

-The Golden Nugget will be fine.

-Thank you so much.

Oh, look at that. A cat.

My daddy used to say

that all cats should be drowned...

...after they stop playing with spools.

-He said that?

-He must have been a great humanitarian.

I bet that cat is going to get run over.

I got $2,000 says he can make it.

-You're kidding?

-No.

-You're on.

-$2,000 that he can make it.

-Cat's dead. You're on.

-Here you go. Okay?

-You say he makes it, I say he's dead.

-All right.

-I can do anything I want?

-So can I. Anybody can.

No. I can do anything I want,

you don't say a word.

Anybody can do anything they want.

-Watch me.

-I'm watching.

Come on, cat.

Come here, kitty. Come on, kitty.

-You guys would bet on anything.

-Yeah. That's what it's all about.

Come here, little kitty.

Come on, little kitty, come on.

-For $2,000 you're on my side now?

-Yeah.

You're the one who's father

was drowning cats, remember?

-Come on, kitty. Come on.

-Come to mama.

Don't worry about these big things,

that's special effects.

Okay, okay.

Okay!

Now.

Come on!

There he is.

There's the guy.

You were just lucky.

Lucky? I think he knows

you bet against him.

You win some, you lose some.

You guys go on. Go see Dean Martin.

I'll take this guy home,

give him a bowl of milk.

I think he earned it. Goodbye, sweetie.

You sure you're not coming?

I got to finish that business I talked about.

-Have a good time.

-You want to get me a cab?

Get Ducky on the radio.

Tell him to nail the bastard.

Good night.

Thanks.

I still don't see why

you can't come with me.

Because we're broke.

When you decided to leave with me...

...you descended into a whole new plane

of financial existence, my dear.

I'm trying to make the decompression

as painless as possible.

-I don't care.

-I do!

The Armbruster Hotel in New York.

I'll see you there.

I've got to wait till the banks open.

I can crack open one of my piggy banks.

We got to have something to live on.

Johnny, you don't know

how dangerous he is.

I know exactly what he is,

that's why you're getting on the bus.

After you give me a kiss.

Darling.

Go.

Hey!

It's for horses. Sometimes for cows.

Pigs don't eat it

because they don't know how.

Get his keys, come on.

You're in grade-A trouble, buckaroo.

Come on.

Move!

Okay, blow.

Come on, kid.

Pigs don't eat it,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes