Cats Don't Dance

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Once upon a time, there was a princess and a peasant.

She lived atop a hill in a glittering castle.

There she had a servant who kept her castle in order...

... selected and pressed her robes for the day...

... prepared her royal breakfast and served it to her in her chambers.

- She had fame, she had fortune. - Bravo. Delightful.

She had product endorsements.

But she was not what she seemed.

On the other hand, in a humble village far away...

... the peasant had none of her luxuries, but he had a dream.

So with a fond farewell from his closest friends...

... and gifts of good luck, best wishes...

... and useless junk... Although it's the thought that counts.

- His world was about to clash with hers...

... in a place called Hollywood.

Goodbye!

Since I was a little kitten I had a dream

My name in lights Danny, the song and dance cat

I got on a bus and came to the town Where dreams can come true

It's gonna happen for me

It could happen for you

Who, me?

You can do anything If you try

The most impossible dream Can come true

If you believe it

This is my kind of town It's as clear as the nose on your face

This is the time This is the place

This is the time

- So long. - Taxi!

This must be the place Hollywood

Where the streets Are paved with gold

Where the kitties never grow old

In Hollywood

Hollywood Where the stars don 't shine at night

They walk around in the broad daylight In Hollywood

Dig that face They ain 't seen nothing like it

Anyplace It's right above the movie screen

If you know what I mean

Look at me I'm gonna be the cat to see

I'm going down in history

Just watch me!

Hollywood

Where the streets are paved with gold

Where dreams can never grow old

Right here in Hollywood

Well, hi, there, ma'am. How you doing?

What's your name there? Okay.

I'm Danny. Do you mind if I sit down?

- Excuse me. - Cranston!

Don't mind him, Danny. He was just leaving.

Hi. I'm Tillie. This is Cranston. Cranston, Danny. Danny, T.W.

T.W., Danny. Danny, Frances. Frances, Danny. T.W., Frances. Frances...

So, new in town?

I just arrived. L...

I hear Farley Wink gets good parts for animals.

If you call hanging from a hook a good part.

At least it's a part, huh?

There's no use trying, Miss Tillie. My fortune cookie last night said:

"Give it up, you loser."

I need a drink.

All right, now, let's see.

"Go to Hollywood." Check.

What you got there?

Well, this is a plan I worked out.

You see, I figure if I work real hard, by Friday I'll land my first big part.

Well, that's how it worked for you, right?

- Oh, sure. Right. - Oh, right.

Why not Thursday?

Now, Danny, you just go in and let Mr. Wink know you're here.

They're casting a big Noah's Ark movie. Lots of work for animals.

Your tie is a little crooked.

Wait a minute. Straighten you up, dust you off and perfect.

Good luck.

- Thanks a lot. - Look, you big ape!

I need those two monkeys for another picture.

What? This is a bad time. I'm casting the Ark picture.

Get off the line! Yes, hello. Wink here.

- Mr. Wink? - Yes!

If you have any openings for a talented cat, I'm your man. I mean, your cat.

Send over two chickens and two lions.

But don't send them over in the same car this time.

Let's see now.

- Say, you. Can you play a cat? - I am a cat.

How would you like to be in the next Darla Dimple picture?

The Darla Dimple? America's sweetheart, lover of children and animals?

One and the same, kid. One and the same.

Just sign here, here, here, here, and here and here and here and here...

...and over there and down the middle...

- Sawyer, what happened to you? - Did you walk under a ladder?

Smash a mirror?

- Have you looked in one lately? - No. A cat crossed my path.

- Really? Orange tabby? - Yeah.

- Green vest? Straw hat? - Yeah. Yeah.

- What a koinky-dink. - How'd you know?

Hippo intuition.

- And initial this. - Wow, this is a dream come true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but don't forget, 10 percent of that dream is mine.

Welcome to Hollywood!

Farley Wink's Animal Agency. Can I help you?

- You need a lamb for the Moses picture? - Yeah!

Oh, a sacrificial lamb?

- No, no. - Sorry, fresh out.

Every day I ask myself why I put up with this.

- For the glamour. - What, this pigsty?

- No offense, Herb. - None taken.

Unless of course, you're referring to the glamour of filing...

...the romance of typing.

- Tillie, what are you doing? - I'm just fixing you up.

You'll wanna look pretty in case you meet someone nice.

Yeah, right. As if he'll come waltzing right through that...

You're gonna be fine, kid. You're the cat's meow.

You can meow, can't you?

Where's Sawyer?

- Sawyer. Sweetie, baby! - Whatever it is, the answer is no.

- I'm in a jam. - Too bad.

- Can't find a female cat for the picture. - Tough tabby.

- So guess who gets to fill in. - You?

Nah, I only fill in for those dashing Clark Gable types.

Frankly, Clark, I don't give a...

- Sawyer! - I'm a secretary, not an actress.

- Give you Sundays off. - Never work Sunday.

- Double time. - Triple.

- Triple? - There an echo?

- You're pushing me! - No chow, no meow.

Okay, okay, triple time. Here's your partner. He's new in town. Be nice.

Forget it.

A deal is a deal. Now get on over to Mammoth Pictures.

You're...

You're... You're soaking wet.

Is it raining outside?

Because it was sunny when I came in, and back where I come from...

Here, let me get the door for you. Where I come from you see clouds first.

- Stay. - After you.

And then the rain comes after it.

I'm sorry. Miss?

Oh, I'm telling you, one more plucking scene...

...and... right in the gizzard.

So aggravating and humiliating. I'm out of this picture business.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

So I guess we're gonna be the only two cats on the ark, huh?

- Pretty great, huh? - So much for preserving the species.

Hey, Kong, how's the picture coming?

Don't get me started!

You know the King?

On my side of the tram, home of Darla Dimple...

...America's sweetheart. Look for Darla in Lil Ark Angel...

...coming soon to a theater near you.

All right, everybody. We're ready for Darla's big ark.

Hey. Hey, mister. I could help you push that cart, you know.

Hey. What are you doing? Get out of here, kid.

Let me help, will you?

I'm little but I'm strong.

- These sweets are for Miss Dimple. - Okay, all right.

You don't have to get mad.

I'm busted.

- Hey. - Hey.

You're the cat from this morning?

- What are you doing here? - That ice thing is just my side job.

Name's Peabo Pudgemyer.

But you can call me Pudge.

Time to start. Better go get your costume.

Script! Script! Script!

"Meow"? Is that all? Where's the rest?

- You're looking at it. - But I thought this was a musical.

We're supposed to sing and dance, aren't we?

Oh, for the love of Moby Dick.

Listen, tiger, this town has rules. Around here, cats say "meow."

But that's so old hat. I'm sure no one would mind if I jazz this up a bit.

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