Charley's Aunt Page #5

TO FIND THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET, I

HAVE COME ALL THE WAY FROM INDIA.

INDIA?

THEN YOU MUST BE AWFULLY

TIRED. HAVE A CHAIR.

THANK YOU.

NOW THAT I HAVE FOUND

THIS LITTLE FLOWERLET,

I WANT I TO BE WITH ME ALWAYS.

I WANT IT TO WALK

BY MY SIDE,

TO SEE THE SPLENDOR

OF THE TAJ MAHAL,

TO BE KISSED:

BY THE TROPICAL MOON.

OH, DARN THAT THING!

PARDON ME.

TERRIBLY CLUMSY OF ME.

OH.

WHAT A CLUMSY OAF I AM.

I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY.

AH, I WILL WASTE

NO MORE WORDS, DONNA LUCIA.

WILL YOU BE MY LITTLE FLOWERLET?

WILL YOU BE MY WIFE?

WELL, YOU SEE-

THEN I MAY HOPE?

I'M AFRAID NOT.

NO, DON'T HOPE.

I WOULDN'T HOPE

IF I WERE YOU.

FRANKLY, SIR FRANCIS, I INTEND TO MARRY

SOMEONE MUCH YOUNGER THAN YOURSELF.

YOU SEE, YOU

ALREADY HAVE A SON.

WHILE I- I HOPE TO HAVE

A FAMILY OF MY OWN SOMEDAY.

AT YOUR AGE?

OH, I KNOW I'M A LITTLE YOUNG

TO BE SPEAKING OF CHILDREN,

BUT I WON'T ALWAYS

BE YOUNG NOW, WILL I?

NO, I SUPPOSE NOT. BUT I PROMISE

YOU ONE THING, SIR FRANCIS.

I WILL ALWAYS BE

A SISTER TO YOU.

THAT IS, IF YOU CARE

FOR THAT SORT OF THING.

NO WORDS OF MINE

CAN ALTER YOUR DECISION?

THEN PLEASE ACCEPT MY REGRETS AND APOLOGIES

FOR EVER HAVING BROACHED THE SUBJECT.

GOOD DAY.

GOOD DAY, SIR FRANCIS.

GOOD DAY.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE I'LL

FIND LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY?

LORD FANCOURT? WELL, UH, HIS ROOMS ARE IN

THAT BUILDING, BUT HE'S NOT IN AT PRESENT.

OH. WILL YOU SEE HIM SHORTLY?

OH, YES, AT ANY MOMENT.

I WONDER IF YOU'LL GIVE

HIM THIS, PLEASE. OF COURSE.

JUST TELL HIM THA MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE WAS HERE.

I'M GOING TO THE INN NOW,

AND I SHALL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.

CERTAINLY, MADAM.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THAT'S THE WOMAN

UNCLE TELEGRAPHED ABOUT.

AND FROM HERE:

SHE LOOKS MIGHTY NICE.

WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? I'VE GO TO ENTERTAIN MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE.

I CAN'T DO IT IN THIS

OUTFIT. JUST A MOMENT!

YOU CAN'T QUIT ON US LIKE

THIS. NOW SEE HERE, JACK.

THAT WOMAN IS A VERY IMPORTAN CLIENT, AND I'VE GOT TO-

OH, NOW LOOK

WHO'S COMING.

IF YOU DISAPPEAR NOW, HE'LL BE

SUSPICIOUS. I'VE GOTTA MEET THAT WOMAN.

BUT SHE WON'T BE BACK FOR AN HOUR. YOU

CAN GET RID OF THIS ROMEO IN FIVE MINUTES.

JUST TURN HIM DOWN

LIKE YOU DID DAD.

BUT HE'S IN HIS THIRD

CHILDHOOD. HE'S A CHEEK PINCHER.

A BOOCHA-BOOCHA-BOOCHA. OH,

COME ON, BABBS. GET IT OVER WITH.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

DO I LOOK SEDUCTIVE ENOUGH?

I HATE TO MENTION THIS,

AUNTIE, BUT YOU NEED A SHAVE.

I SHAVED THIS MORNING.

NOT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR AUNTIE.

IF OLD SPETTIGUE PINCHES YOUR CHEEK

AND FEELS THAT STUBBLE, IT'S TROUBLE.

NOW, COME ON. BE A GOOD GIRL

AND WHISK OFF THOSE WHISKERS.

YOU CAN USE THE RAZOR IN MY ROOM.

WHY CAN'T I BE A BEARDED LADY?

DONNA LUCIA!

MR. SPETTIGUE!

YES.

YOU'RE VERY NAUGHTY COMING IN HERE

LIKE THIS. I JUST HAD TO TALK TO YOU.

STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. SHAME

ON YOU, COMING UP HERE UNINVITED.

JUST FOR THAT, I'M GONNA CLOSE

THE DOOR. NO, DON'T, DONNA LUCIA.

I WAITED FOR YOU IN THE BOWER,

AND WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME, I-

OH, DONNA LUCIA,

FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE ME.

RATHER THAN OFFEND YOU,

I WOULD DESTROY MYSELF.

OH, DONNA LUCIA, DONNA LUCIA, YOU

ARE SUCH A PICTURE OF LOVELINESS.

I THOUGHT MY LIFE SPAN WAS OVER, AND THEN

- THEN I SAW YOU.

YOUR FACE- YOUR FACE

WAS LIKE A KINDLY BREEZE...

CARRYING BACK TO ME

ALL THE DAYS OF MY YOUTH.

OH, MR. SPETTIGUE!

I SAY, BABBS,

HAVE YOU SEEN KITTY?

KITTY? ALL I'VE SEEN

IS SPETTIGUE. SPETTIGUE?

YES, AND HE'S AFTER ME.

COME ON.

OH!

OH, IT'S YOU, MADAM.

VERY CARELESS OF ME.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

OH!

THAT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE, WASN' IT? BUT NOT CLOSE ENOUGH. LOOK.

SPETTIGUE CAUGHT ME RIGH IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. WHAT?

YES. AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

FOR HIM WHILE I FINISH SHAVING.

HURRY UP! SPETTIGUE'S

JUST COMING OUT OF THE BUILDING!

I CAN CUT MY THROA JUST SO FAST AND NO FASTER.

- HERE HE COMES!

- GOOD. LET ME AT HIM.

I'LL TURN HIM DOWN RIGHT OFF, AND HE CAN

TAKE HIS BROKEN HEART AND GET OUT OF HERE.

BUT HE'S SURE TO TAKE KITTY AND AMY

WITH HIM. GOOD. WE CAN GET RID OF THEM.

BUT KITTY CAN'T LEAVE NOW.

I HAVEN'T PROPOSED TO HER YET.

YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP OLD SPETTIGUE

AROUND HERE A LITTLE LONGER. OH!

KEEP HIM ON THE HOOK UNTIL

I'VE HAD MY TALK WITH KITTY.

BUT I CAN'T DO THAT. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR

- A TEASE?

AND WHAT ABOUT MRS. BEVERLY

SMYTHE? NOW, LISTEN, BABBS.

OH, ALL RIGHT. BUT HURRY UP

BEFORE MY BEARD GROWS BACK AGAIN.

HERE HE IS.

AH, THERE YOU ARE.

HELLO.

DONNA LUCIA.

CHASE ME.

OH.

CERTAINLY, MADAM.

EXCUSE ME, SIR. HAVE YOU SEEN A

DISTINGUISHED LOOKING LADY ABOUT HERE?

DEFINITELY. OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

KITTY, YOU KNOW

I LIKE YOU ENORMOUSLY.

YES. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT EVEN

CONSTRUE IT AS LOVE, MIGHTN'T THEY?

YEAH- YES! AND, WELL, WHEN TWO

PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER, THEY-THEY-

THEY BECOME ENGAGED, DON'T THEY? YEAH.

YES! AND I THOUGH THAT IF YOU-

OH, YOU ARE A DEAR

TO ASK ME, JACK.

OH, WHAT'S THE USE

OF TALKING?

I'LL BE POOR

FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS.

WE'D HAVE TO LIVE IN THE

SUBURBS ON TUPPENCE A YEAR.

WELL, IS THERE ANY REASON

WHY WE SHOULDN'T?

KITTY!

YOU KNOW VERY LITTLE

ABOUT ME, JACK.

DO YOU THINK IF I WERE IN LOVE, BEING

POOR WOULD MAKE THE SLIGHTEST DIFFERENCE?

WE WON'T BE FOR LONG.

I'LL WORK HARD.

OH, I'M MUCH TOO FOND OF YOU

TO LET MONEY STAND IN THE WAY.

YOU ARE, KITTY?

THEN- THEN-

THEN WILL I MARRY YOU,

JACK? YES.

OH, KITTY.

I DID IT.

I DID IT!

I DON'T SEE HOW.

IF I WERE A MAN, I'M SURE I'D

NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO PROPOSE.

OH!

YOU ARE BOLD,

AREN'T YOU, JACK?

OH, I- I'M TERRIBLY

SORRY, KITTY.

OH, I WASN'T COMPLAINING. I WAS

MERELY EXPRESSING AN OPINION.

YOU'RE SO PRETTY.

REALLY, MR. WYKEHAM, YOU NEEDN' SOUND SO DEPRESSED ABOUT IT.

OH, I'M NOT DEPRESSED. I'M JUS - JUST OVEREXCITED.

OH, MISS AMY.

YES?

WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

I LOVE YOU.

WELL?

WELL WHAT?

WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO

SAY, "THIS IS SO SUDDEN"?

IT ISN'T REALLY, IS IT, CHARLEY? AMY!

OH, CHARLEY, I FORGOT ABOU UNCLE. WELL, WHAT ABOUT HIM?

OH, BUT WHAT ABOU MY GUARDIAN, MR. SPETTIGUE?

OH. I'LL SEE HIM AT ONCE

AND ASK HIS CONSENT.

AND YOU MUST GET IT IN WRITING. WRITING?

YES. SO THAT LATER

HE CAN'T RETRACT IT.

YOU DON'T KNOW HIM AS WELL

AS I DO. I DON'T TRUST HIM.

OH, BUT I COULDN'T ASK HIM

TO DO A THING LIKE THAT.

NO. BUT DONNA LUCIA COULD.

DONNA LUCIA?

YES.

MR. SPETTIGUE HAS FALLEN A COMPLETE VICTIM

TO HER CHARMS. HE'D DO ANYTHING FOR HER.

OH, HELLO, CHARLEY.

WHERE'S AMY?

OH, OVER BY THE GATE. OH, I

- I MUST GO AND TELL HER THE NEWS.

I'VE DONE IT.

JACK, I'VE DONE IT!

DONE WHAT?

TOLD AMY EVERYTHING.

OH, YOU FOOL! WHAT FOR?

TOLD HER WHAT?

TOLD HER THAT I LOVE

HER. OH, IS THAT ALL?

IS THAT ALL? WHY, IT MADE

ME FEEL MOST PECULIAR.

BUT SHE SAYS I'VE GOT TO GET THE

OLD BOUNDER'S CONSENT IN WRITING.

ME TOO. I WONDER

IF THE OLD MISER CAN WRITE.

WELL, THERE'S ONLY

ONE THING TO DO ABOUT IT.

PSST. HEY!

AUNTIE!

DONNA LUCIA!

WHERE'S SPETTIGUE? ABOU A QUARTER OF A MILE BACK.

DID YOU TWO POP THE QUESTION YET?

AND THE ANSWERS WERE FAVORABLE.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote