Charley's Aunt Page #6

GOOD. THEN I CAN TELL OLD SPETTIGUE WHAT I

THINK OF HIM. BUT YOU CAN'T TURN HIM DOWN.

WHAT? NO, YOU'VE GOT TO ACCEPT HIM.

NOW LOOK HERE, BABBS!

LOOK OUT!

GET OFF OF ME! BABBS,

YOU MUST BE REASONABLE.

I COULD NEVER BE HAPPY WITH A

MAN LIKE THAT. I WON'T ACCEPT!

ONLY TEMPORARILY. ONLY UNTIL YOU CAN GE WRITTEN CONSENT FOR THE GIRLS TO MARRY.

IF YOU TURN HIM DOWN, HE'LL NEVER

GIVE IT. JUST STRING HIM ALONG.

WHEN I HAVE TO USE MYSELF AS BAIT FOR

AN UNDERSIZED MACKEREL, THAT'S THE END!

OH!

OH, JACK! CHARLEY! WHATEVER'S

THE MATTER WITH YOUR AUNT?

SHH. SHE'S RESTING. YES, YES. SHE

- SHE HAS A STIFF BACK.

WE'VE BEEN GIVING HER A BIT OF A

TREATMENT. THE WEATHER, YOU KNOW.

IS THAT BETTER, AUNTIE? YES. NOW

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO BACK AT ALL.

OH, DONNA LUCIA! I SUPPOSE JACK

MENTIONED THE FAVOR WE WANT TO ASK OF YOU.

YES, HE DID SAY SOMETHING

ABOUT A LETTER OF CONSENT.

OH, AND YOU WILL GET I FOR US, WON'T YOU?

WELL, NOW, GIRLS,

I'M AFRAID I CAN'T.

OH, DONNA LUCIA!

OH, DONNA LUCIA!

HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN IN

LOVE? OH, DOZENS OF TIMES.

OH, I MEAN ONCE IN LOVE,

ALWAYS IN LOVE.

OH, THEN YOU KNOW HOW MUCH

IT MEANS TO US, DON'T YOU?

YES, GIRLS, BUT I DON'T THINK

- OF COURSE AUNTIE WILL GET IT. WON'T YOU, AUNTIE?

CHARLES, I TOLD YOU ONCE

- ? LITTLE BO PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP?

THAT I'LL BE DELIGHTED TO.

OH, YOU'RE AN ANGEL!

I KNEW YOU WOULD. THANK

YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, YOU'RE

SO WONDERFUL.

OH, COME ALONG, AMY.

WE MUST FIND MR. SPETTIGUE.

HE'S DOWN THERE. OH, WE'LL

BRING HIM TO YOU AT ONCE.

IF YOU DON'T STOP

KISSING KITTY, I'LL-

AND NO MORE:

LOVEY-DOVEY WITH AMY.

THERE'S A MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE

IN YOUR ROOMS, MILORD.

SEE? NOW LOOK

WHAT YOU GOT ME INTO!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

GET HIM, JACK!

WHAT DO YOU THINK

YOU'RE DOING?

I'M GONNA CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND BE WHAT NATURE INTENDED ME TO BE

- A MAN.

YOU CAN DO THAT AFTER

YOU TALK TO SPETTIGUE.

BUT I'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF MRS.

BEVERLY SMYTHE. YOU CAN DO BOTH.

GO MEET THIS WOMAN AND BE BACK

DOWN HERE AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

WE'LL KEEP SPETTIGUE OCCUPIED. IF THINGS GE HOT, I'LL TOSS SOME PEBBLES UP AT YOUR WINDOW.

AND IF YOU DON'T COME AT ONCE, THOSE

PEBBLES WILL BE FOLLOWED BY A ROCK.

COME ON.

LET'S FIND SPETTIGUE.

WHAT DID I EVER DO

TO DESERVE ALL THIS?

HOW DO YOU-

HOW DO YOU DO? I'M

LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY.

OH, AND I'M MRS. BEVERLY

SMYTHE. HOW DO YOU DO?

OH, PARDON ME FOR STARING,

BUT YOU AREN'T AT ALL

WHAT I EXPECTED TO FIND.

I THOUGHT I'D BE MET BY SOME

18-YEAR-OLD STUDENT INSTEAD OF-

WELL, OBVIOUSLY

A MAN OF THE WORLD.

I'M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. WELL,

THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU.

NOW THAT WE'RE BEING FRANK, I HADN' PICTURED YOU THE WAY YOU ARE, EITHER.

YOU DON'T LOOK AT ALL LIKE A

CLIENT, YOU KNOW. OH, THANK YOU.

ARE YOU HERE ON BUSINESS, MRS. SMYTHE,

OR JUST A VISIT? NO, JUST A VISIT.

YOU SEE, ST. OLDE'S WAS MY

HUSBAND'S COLLEGE. MY LATE HUSBAND.

OH, YOURLATEHUSBAND?

OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE.

I MEAN, THAT'S FINE THAT HE WEN TO COLLEGE HERE. A SPLENDID PLACE.

YES, HE SPOKE SO HIGHLY OF IT. SO I DECIDED

TO COME HERE AND GET TO KNOW IT AS HE KNEW IT.

WELL, YOU COULDN' HAVE FOUND A BETTER ESCORT.

I'VE BEEN HERE

ON AND OFF FOR 10 YEARS.

YOU KNOW, I'M SO SORRY, MRS.

SMYTHE, I WAS OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVED.

I WAS WITH A COUPLE OF CHAPS

- CHESNEY AND WYKEHAM. OH.

BEING A BIT OLDER, I'M SOR OF A BIG BROTHER TO THEM.

THEY WANTED ME TO MEE THEIR FIANCEES.

AND AS A BIG BROTHER,

DID YOU APPROVE?

DEFINITELY. THEY'RE

LOVELY GIRLS, BOTH OF THEM.

OF COURSE, THEY'LL NEVER TURN OUT TO BE

AS CHARMING AND ATTRACTIVE AS YOU ARE.

I'M SORRY.

SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT.

NO. NO, YOU SHOULDN' HAVE SAID THAT.

BUT I FORGIVE YOU.

ANYONE EVER TELL YOU

ABOUT YOUR EYES?

SOMETHING'S COME OVER ME. MAY

I OFFER YOU A GLASS OF SHERRY?

OH, YOU CERTAINLY MAY. AND, UH,

WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT MY EYES?

THEY IMPRESS ME VERY MUCH.

BOTH OF THEM.

OH. OH.

BUT YOU TOLD ME:

SHE WAS HERE.

BUT SHE WAS,

ONLY A MOMENT AGO.

OH, SHE'S PROBABLY GONE BACK TO YOUR

ROOMS. MAYBE I CAN FIND HER THERE.

NOW, YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE, MR.

SPETTIGUE. YOU'RE TIRED ANYWAY.

AND I-I'M SURE SHE'LL BE

BACK IN A MOMENT. YEAH.

GOOD HEAVENS!

WHAT WAS THAT?

JUST A PASSING HAILSTORM. THINK NOTHING

OF IT. IT'LL BE OVER IN A MOMENT.

NOW, WHAT I'D LIKE TO

SUGGEST FOR THIS EVENING...

IS A CHARMING LITTLE RESTAURAN WITH A WONDERFUL VIEW OF THE RIVER.

OH!

OH, WHAT A

- WHAT A LARGE HAILSTONE! AND DANGEROUS TOO!

THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT A LO OF CLOTHES HANGING OUT ON THE LINE.

I'D BETTER GET THEM IN

BEFORE THEY'RE RUINED.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT CLOTHES DOES TO

HAIL? I MEAN, TO HAIL TO CLOTHES.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

NOW, WAIT FOR ME.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR.

AREN'T THE SWEET PEAS LOVELY? YES.

MR. SPETTIGUE HAD SOME PLANTED AT HOME.

UNCLE LOVES FLOWERS.

YES.

LADIES, WOULD YOU,

UH, EXCUSE US?

YES, PLEASE.

OH, CERTAINLY.

COME ON.

HELP ME, WILL YOU?

EVERY TIME I PUT THESE CLOTHES

ON, THERE SEEM TO BE MORE OF THEM.

AH, DONNA LUCIA!

OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, THERE YOU ARE. YES.

I, UH- I COULDN'T FIND THE TEA,

SO ON THE WAY BACK...

I HAPPENED TO SEE THESE FLOWERS, AND

I JUST HAD TO STOP AND SMELL THEM.

OH, THEY ARE LOVELY.

YES.

WELL, NOW SHALL WE GO

BACK AND HAVE OUR TEA?

NOT JUST YET, STEPHEN.

OH, YOU DON'T WAN TO GO BACK?

WELL, PART OF ME

IS READY TO GO,

BUT PART OF ME MUST STAY.

I MEAN, MY HEAD SAYS GO,

MY HEART SAYS STAY,

AND MY FEET ARE UNDECIDED.

WHOA! MR. SPETTIGUE, I JUMP FOR

JOY WHENEVER I SEE YOUR FACE.

I JUMP AND JUMP:

AND JUMP AND JUMP AND JUMP.

OH, I HAD NO IDEA

I MEANT SO MUCH TO YOU.

WELL, NOW THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH

OTHER, I'D LIKE TO ASK A FAVOR OF YOU.

ANYTHING. ANYTHING!

I WANT YOU TO WRITE A LETTER GIVING

YOUR WARD AND NIECE CONSENT...

TO MARRY MY NEPHEW AND

MR. CHESNEY. OH, BUT-

THEY'RE SO MUCH IN LOVE.

STEPHEN, PLEASE, JUST FOR MY SAKE.

OH, BUT WHY? WHY SPEAK OF OTHER

LOVES WHEN WE HAVE OUR OWN?

BUT I CAN'T THINK OF MYSELF

UNTIL I SEE THOSE CHILDREN HAPPY.

VERY WELL. WE'LL

DISCUSS IT TONIGHT.

GOOD. NOW SHALL WE

- SHALL WE JOIN THE YOUNGSTERS FOR TEA?

YES, MY DARLING.

OH, STEPHEN.

OH, LUCIA.

KEEP THAT WOMAN IN MY ROOM.

DON'T LET HER GET OUT.

SON!

MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE,

I'M JACK CHESNEY,

A FRIEND OF BABBERLY'S.

HE WAS CALLED TO THE PROCTOR'S OFFICE,

SO HE ASKED ME TO COME UP AND EXPLAIN.

- THANK YOU.

- SAY, JACK-

OH, EXCUSE ME. WELL, SON,

WHY DON'T YOU INTRODUCE ME?

OH, MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE, MY

FATHER, SIR FRANCIS CHESNEY. OH.

I HOPE I'M NOT INTRUDING.

WELL, NOT AT ALL.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TEA HERE WITH LORD

BABBERLY, BUT HE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN DETAINED.

WHAT A SHAME. WELL, THE OTHERS

ARE HAVING TEA IN THE GARDEN.

WHY DON'T WE THREE

JOIN THEM? OH, NO. NO.

I'M SURE MRS. BEVERLY

SMYTHE WOULDN'T ENJOY IT.

JUST TWO SILLY GIRLS AND CHARLEY

WYKEHAM'S OLD AUNT FROM BRAZIL.

AN- AN OLD AUN FROM BRAZIL?

- YES.

- OH.

WELL, UH, WHAT SOR OF A- A LADY IS SHE?

OH, A HORRIBLE OLD THING. OH, REALLY?

WELL, I MUST SEE HER.

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