Charley's Aunt Page #7

I SPENT A LITTLE TIME IN BRAZIL MYSELF.

WE SHOULD HAVE A GREAT DEAL IN COMMON.

OH, BUT I- I'M SURE

YOU WON'T LIKE HER.

NONSENSE. I CAN'T WAIT TO

MEET HER. SIR FRANCIS? MADAM.

THANK YOU. YOU KNOW, I'M QUITE

CHARMED WITH YOUR TOWN OF OXFORD HERE.

I HOPE YOU SHALL ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU

AROUND. I'D BE VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU.

MY DEAR.

THANK YOU.

WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY. ALL OF US

BEING TOGETHER. I HATE TO SEE IT END.

OH, BUT IT SHAN'T, MY DEAR.

NOW, I HAVE A CAPITAL IDEA.

WE SHALL ALL DINE

AT MY HOUSE THIS EVENING.

AND WE'LL STEAL AWAY

AND BE ALONE TOGETHER.

THAT WILL BE HEAVEN.

DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ,

MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

D'ALVADOREZ. OF COURSE.

UH, I KNEW YOUR LATE

HUSBAND INTIMATELY.

OH. OH, SHE KNEW MY LATE

HUSBAND INTIMATELY.

WELL, YOU TWO SHOULD

GET ALONG FAMOUSLY.

YES.

YES, YOUR HUSBAND AND I-

WELL, NOW, PLEASE, PLEASE,

I'D MUCH RATHER NOT DISCUSS IT.

YOU SEE, THAT'S ONE SUBJEC I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT.

I JUST- I JUST CAN'T-

OH! OH, I'M SO SORRY.

HOW MANY SUGARS?

I MEAN- I MEAN-

OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

OH, DARLING AUNTIE!

BRASSETT! WATER!

SOME BURNT FEATHERS, BRASSETT. BRANDY!

SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

MY DEAR DONNA LUCIA, WILL YOU

SIT HERE AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE?

AND MAY YOU GRACE I ALWAYS FROM NOW ON.

THANK YOU.

IT WAS SO KIND OF YOU TO ASK ME

HERE THIS EVENING, MR. SPETTIGUE.

IT WAS A VERY, VERY GREAT PLEASURE,

I ASSURE YOU, MY DEAR LADY.

IF YOU HADN'T, I DON'T KNOW

WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE.

STILL BE WAITING

FOR LORD BABBERLY, I IMAGINE.

HE MUST BE A VERY ILL-MANNERED

YOUNG MAN, DESERTING YOU LIKE THIS.

NOW, I WOULDN'T BE TOO HARSH ON THE BOY.

HE WAS PROBABLY UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED.

I STILL THINK IT WAS

INEXCUSABLY BOORISH OF HIM.

YOU DO, DO YOU?

WELL, WHEN MY NEPHEW INTRODUCED

ME TO HIM THIS AFTERNOON,

I FOUND HIM TO BE A MAN

OF GREAT CHARM, CULTURE,

INTELLIGENCE, CHIVALRY, WIT,

AFFECTION AND UNDERSTANDING.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS NEVER QUITE

SO IMPRESSED WITH ANYONE IN ALL MY LIFE.

AND I'D RATHER NOT HEAR

ANOTHER WORD AGAINST HIM!

I SAY, DO YOU THINK WE'LL WIN FROM

CAMBRIDGE AT CRICKET NEXT WEEK, CHARLEY, EH?

OH, WE CAN'T LOSE, OLD BOY,

WITH SPICKENS AT THE WICKET.

SPICKENS IS A GOOD MAN.

IT'S TOO BAD IT'S HIS LAST YEAR.

DID YOU SEE HIM AT THE NETS

YESTERDAY? OH, MARVELOUS, MARVELOUS.

EXTRAORDINARY FORM.

OH, MR. SPETTIGUE, I IMAGINE

YOU WERE QUITE A CRICKET PLAYER.

OH, QUITE, QUITE, YES.

I PLAYED A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF

CRICKET. AND BOWLED, YOU KNOW.

BOWLED? REALLY?

THAT SOUNDS LIKE GOOD FUN.

AMAZING.

ANCIENT GAME.

YES, IT'S VERY FUN. I THINK I'VE

SEEN SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF YOU.

WELL:

- YES, I THINK IT IS TIME THE LADIES WERE RETIRING...

TO THE DRAWING ROOM AND LEAVE

THE GENTLEMEN TO THEIR PORT.

THANK YOU.

JUST A MOMENT. MR. CHESNEY WAS

ASKING ME SOMETHING ABOUT BRAZIL.

WAS I? YES, AND I'M SO

GLAD YOU ASKED ME THAT.

NOW, BRAZIL-

BRAZIL IS THE MOST BRAZILIAN

PLACE IN ALL OF SOUTH AMERICA.

IT HAS ITS, UH,

RIVERS AND LAKES,

HILLS AND DALES,

CITIES AND COUNTRIES,

DAYS AND NIGHTS, AND

AFTERNOONS TOO, OF COURSE.

DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR

QUESTION? YES. YES.

- UH, CHARLES, PLEASE HELP ME.

- OH, OF COURSE, AUNTIE.

OOH, AUNTIE,

TELL THEM ALL ABOUT YOUR

COFFEE PLANTATION IN BRAZIL.

OH.

YES. YES, PLEASE

DO TELL US.

I WANT TO HEAR:

ALL ABOUT IT.

WELL, UH, YOU KNOW

WHAT COFFEE IS, OF COURSE.

AND, UH- AND YOU KNOW

WHAT A PLANTATION IS.

WELL, UH, WE HAD

A COFFEE PLANTATION.

DONNA LUCIA, DO YOU PREFER

THE MOCACA COFFEE TO THE PINHAL?

THE, UH, MOCACA COFFEE?

WELL, YES, YES.

WITH A LITTLE SUGAR.

AND IT'S DELIGHTFUL

WHEN SERVED PIPING HOT.

I CAN HELP YOU NOW,

AUNTIE. THANK YOU, CHARLES.

AMY-

THANK YOU.

AND THEN- THEN THERE'S-

THERE'S ANOTHER KIND OF COFFEE.

THIS COFFEE IS GROWN

FROM SEED ON WET FLANNEL.

OH, MY DEAR, TIMES

ARE MOVING SO FAST NOW.

IT'LL BE IN BEFORE YOU KNOW

IT. SUCH A WORLD WE LIVE IN.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE A DRESSMAKER WHO

MADE THIS DRESS IN SIX WEEKS...

WITH ONE OF THOSE NEW

SEWING MACHINE ATTACHMENTS.

REALLY?

THEY SEEM TO BE:

TELLING STORIES.

PSST. PSST. CHARLEY.

OH, YES, AUNTIE?

EXCUSE ME.

WHICH ONE ARE THEY TELLING?

OH, THAT ONE.

ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN US,

MR. WYKEHAM?

OH, NO. I JUST CAME TO SEE IF MY AUN HERE WAS ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELL, IF THEY CAN TELL STORIES,

I DON'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T.

I KNOW ONE. OF COURSE,

IT'S A TRIFLE NAUGHTY.

OH, REALLY?

WELL, PLEASE TELL IT.

YES. YES, DO TELL IT. THIS IS

ONE THAT DON PEDRO USED TO TELL.

PERHAPS DONNA LUCIA WOULD

PREFER TO TELL IT HERSELF.

TOM PEDRO?

DON PEDRO D'ALVADOREZ,

YOUR LATE HUSBAND.

OH, DON.

DON PEDRO, OF COURSE.

I KNEW HIS NAME.

I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS STORIES.

OH, PLEASE GO ON. I'M SURE

DONNA LUCIA WON'T MIND.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NOT AT ALL.

IT SEEMS AS THOUGH DON PEDRO WAS WALKING

THROUGH HIS COFFEE FIELDS ONE DAY...

WHEN HE CAME ACROSS ONE OF

HIS WORKMEN WHO WAS TIPSY.

THE MAN HAD A GIRL IN HIS

ARMS, AND HE WAS KISSING HER.

OH. WELL, NATURALLY

DON PEDRO WAS FURIOUS,

AND HE SAID,

"HOW DARE YOU?"

AND THE MAN SAID, "WHAT'S THE

MATTER? ALL YOUR WORKMEN DO THIS."

AND DON PEDRO SAID, "HOW CAN

YOU MAKE A STATEMENT LIKE THAT?

WHAT GROUNDS:

DO YOU HAVE?"

AND THE MAN SAID,

"COFFEE GROUNDS."

OH, WHAT A NAUGHTY STORY.

SILLIEST THING:

I'VE EVER HEARD.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER

THE STORY, DONNA LUCIA?

IT WAS ONE OF DON PEDRO'S

FAVORITES.

OH, PERFECTLY. I SHRIEKED

THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT.

YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME

OF A VERY FUNNY STORY.

ONE OF YOU GIRLS

PLAY SOMETHING.

WELL, NOW, GENTLEMEN,

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M GOING TO SHOW

DONNA LUCIA THE GARDEN.

YOU'VE NO IDEA HOW BEAUTIFUL

IT IS IN THE MOONLIGHT.

OH, DONNA LUCIA,

WE ARE ALONE AT LAST.

DON'T TOUCH ME! I'M

VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.

LUCIA, YOU WOUND ME. DON' SAY THAT. WELL, I DO SAY IT.

AFTER THE WAY YOU PROMISED

ME, TO TREAT ME LIKE THIS!

PROMISE? YES, THE CONSEN YOU PROMISED ME IN WRITING.

BUT I DIDN'T PROMISE.

WHY, STEPHEN! TO THINK THA YOU'D GO BACK ON YOUR WORD.

OH, DONNA LUCIA!

THAT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD UNTIL I

GET THE LETTER. BUT, MY DEAREST-

STEPHEN, UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THA LETTER, ALL IS OVER BETWEEN US.

NO. NO.

WE CAN NEVER BE APART.

THERE IS SOME UNSEEN SOMETHING

THAT BINDS US TOGETHER.

WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. JUS THE SAME, I WANT THAT LETTER.

VERY WELL, DEAR. I'LL GO

TO MY STUDY AND WRITE IT.

BUT THEN:

- THEN WILL YOU SAY THAT YOU'LL BE MINE?

I'LL SAY ANYTHING YOU LIKE WHEN

I GET THE LETTER. DARLING! OH!

IF YOU LOOK,

YOU'RE NO GENTLEMAN!

NOW YOU MAY HELP ME UP.

OH, A THOUSAND PARDONS,

DEAREST LUCIA.

TELL ME,

DID YOU HURT YOUR BACK?

MY BACK IS FINE.

NOW, GO WRITE THE LETTER.

I WON'T BE A MOMENT.

DARLING!

ARE YOU ALONE?

MAY I SIT DOWN, PLEASE?

MY, WHAT A DREADFUL SMELL

OF SMOKE THERE IS IN HERE!

YES, I NOTICED IT MYSELF. MUST BE

SOMETHING BURNING IN THE KITCHEN.

I'LL GO SEE WHAT IT IS.

NO, DON'T GO.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOU YOUR LATE HUSBAND, DON PEDRO.

OH, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT HIM.

HE WAS SUCH A CRUEL HUSBAND.

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