Charley's Aunt Page #8

THE DON PEDRO I KNEW

WAS SO KIND.

OH, THAT'S HIS FATHER,

THEOLDPEDRO, THE ONE WITH THE BEARD.

OH. OH, FORGIVE MY CURIOSITY,

BUT HAVE YOU ANY CHILDREN?

CHILDREN? ONLY A FEW.

NONE TO SPEAK OF.

OH, DONNA LUCIA, I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU

HAVEN'T ACQUIRED THE HABIT OF SMOKING.

SO MANY BRAZILIAN WOMEN

HAVE, YOU KNOW.

WELL, CONFIDENTIALLY, I WAS JUS PUFFING ON A PERFECTO WHEN YOU CAME IN.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGH NOT UNDERSTAND, SO I, UH-

WOULD YOU CARE FOR ONE?

THEY'RE VERY MILD, YOU KNOW.

OH, NO.

NO, THANK YOU.

WELL, YOU- YOU DON' KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.

- OH, LORD BABBERLY?

YES?

OH, IS HE HERE TOO?

OH, IT'S NO USE.

LORD BABBERLY, I'VE KNOWN

WHO YOU WERE FOR HOURS.

OH, MY GOODNESS. YOU WON' GIVE ME AWAY, WILL YOU?

THAT ALL DEPENDS. BUT THIS WASN' MY IDEA. YOU MUST BELIEVE ME.

THIS WHOLE THING

STARTED WITH SHEEP.

I MEAN, WHEN JACK AND CHARLEY

INVITED THE GIRLS TO LUNCHEON.

OH, IT'S SUCH A LONG STORY. CAN'T WE GO

SOMEPLACE WHERE WE WON'T BE INTERRUPTED?

OH, OF COURSE.

PARDON ME.

LADIES FIRST.

SO JACK LOVES KITTY,

AND AMY LOVES CHARLEY,

AND I'M PLAYING CUPID IN THREE

PETTICOATS, AND THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY.

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT DOING THEM

AS GREAT A FAVOR AS YOU THINK.

I'M GETTING THEM A LETTER OF

CONSENT. WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?

PERHAPS THIS LETTER OF

CONSENT IS MERELY A PRETENSE.

AFTER ALL, MR. SPETTIGUE IS

OBVIOUSLY A FORTUNE HUNTER.

PERHAPS THE GIRLS

ARE AFTER MONEY TOO.

WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. MR.

SPETTIGUE WAS AGAINST THE MARRIAGES.

OH! OH, HE WAS?

OF COURSE. THE MOMENT LOVE FLIES

IN THE WINDOW, HIS INCOME FLIES OUT.

THE ONLY REASON HE'S CONSENTING IS BECAUSE HE

THINKS HE'S GONNA MAKE MORE MONEY BY MARRYING ME.

OH, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.

I HAVE OTHER PLANS FOR YOU.

YOU HAVE?

YES. WHEN YOU JOIN YOUR

UNCLE'S FIRM IN THE FALL,

I SHALL INSIST THAT YOU

HANDLE MY AFFAIRS.

WELL- WELL.

IN ALL DEFERENCE TO YOUR UNCLE,

I THINK IT MIGHT BE RATHER FUN...

TO HAVE AN ATTORNEY WHO THOUGH SOMETHING MORE OF LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM...

THAN JUST A-

A FUTURE ALIMONY CASE.

DO YOU SOLEMNLY PROMISE

TO BE MY FIRST CLIENT?

I DO.

WELL, TELL ME,

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE

AT FIRST CLIENT?

OH, YOU DO?

I DO.

DONNA LUCIA!

DONNA LUCIA!

DO YOU REALLY MEAN IT?

BUT OF COURSE I DO,

YOU SILLY BOY.

WHY, I HEARD SOMETHING.

IT'S MY HEART. IT MAKES AN

AWFUL RACKET WHEN I'M WITH YOU.

OH.

LET ME BE THE FIRS TO CONGRATULATE YOU, SIR.

THEN YOU KNOW?

YES, I KNOW.

OH.

THANK YOU.

DONNA LUCIA!

THERE'S THAT MOOSE

CALLING TO ITS MATE.

YOU'D BETTER GO AND GET THA LETTER BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND.

AS SOON AS I GET THROUGH WITH SPETTIGUE,

I'LL COME BACK AND TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.

WHAT?

I MEAN, THESE CLOTHES OFF.

STEPHEN!

WHA-

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I'VE BEEN

LOOKING HIGH AND LOW FOR YOU.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY,

MY SWEET.

CHILDREN! AMY!

KITTY! MRS. SMYTHE!

IS THAT THE LETTER?

YES. BUT FIRST-

FIRST LET US SEAL OUR

BETROTHAL WITH A KISS.

A KISS?

YES.

NO. NO, NO, NO.

YES. YES.

NO. I'VE BEEN DRINKING.

I DON'T MIND. JUST ONE.

STEPHEN, NO. WE'RE TOO OLD FOR

THAT SORT OF THING. OLD? NEVER!

NOW, STEPHEN

- WHEN LOVE CONSUMES YOU, YOU ARE AGELESS.

JUST ONE. JUST ONE

LITTLE, TEENY-WEENY ONE.

VERY WELL.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

AND KEEP 'EM CLOSED.

YES, DEAR.

NOW GIVE ME THE LETTER.

THERE IT IS. JUST ONE MORE.

NO, NO! NO MORE, STEPHEN!

NO MORE! NO MORE!

YOU CALLED, UNCLE? OH, YES, MY

DEARS. I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU.

BUT WHERE:

- WHERE IS MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE? AH, HERE. HERE YOU ARE.

I WANTED YOU ALL PRESENT TO

SHARE MY SECRET AND MY HAPPINESS.

MY:

- OH, DONNA LUCIA, JUST TO THINK OF IT MAKES MY HEART POUND AND POUND.

NOW, STEPHEN, REMEMBER

THERE ARE OTHERS PRESENT.

OH, I'M SORRY, DEAR.

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.

YES. IT'S JUST THAT LOVE HAS

MADE AN AUDACIOUS BOY OF ME AGAIN.

AND, CHILDREN, CUPID

HAS FOUND ANOTHER VICTIM.

A GOOD FAIRY:

HAS TRIPPED IN AMONG US,

BRINGING WITH HER

UNEXPECTED LIGHT AND JOY.

OH, MY DARLING, JUS TO FEEL YOUR GENTLE TOUCH-

PLEASE, STEPHEN, WE'RE NO ON OUR HONEYMOON YET.

I'VE BEEN DUPED.

YOU- YOU IMPOSTOR!

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M CHARLEY'S NUT FROM BRAZIL

WHERE THE AUNTS COME FROM.

WHAT? GIVE ME THAT LETTER! NO!

GIVE ME THAT LETTER! GIVE I TO ME! NO! NO, NO, STEPHEN!

VERY WELL, KEEP IT.

IT'LL DO YOU NO GOOD.

THERE'S NOT A COURT OF LAW IN

ALL ENGLAND THAT WILL UPHOLD IT...

BECAUSE IT'S ADDRESSED

TO DONNA LUCIA D'ALVADOREZ!

AND HAS BEEN DELIVERED TO DONNA LUCIA

D'ALVADOREZ. BUT HE ISN'T DONNA LUCIA!

NO, BUT I AM.

YOU- OH!

YOU? MY AUNT?

YES, CHARLEY.

YOU?

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY

ABOUT ALL THIS, AUNTIE.

IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT. I DID MY SHARE

OF DECEIVING TOO. WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?

WELL, OF COURSE. WELL, THANK GOODNESS I

SHAN'T HAVE TO CALL YOU AUNTIE ANYMORE.

NO, BUT YOU MIGHT BE

CALLING ME UNCLE PRETTY SOON.

MY KITTY!

MY JACK!

MY CHARLEY!

MY AMY!

MY LUCY!

MY BABBSIE!

MY INCOME.

SAY, I WONDER IF HE CAN SUE ME

FOR BREACH OF PROMISE.

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