Charlie Brown's All Stars!

[BAT HITS BALL]

ALL:

You blockhead, Charlie Brown!

[SQUEAKS]

Well, tomorrow starts

another baseball season then.

I've worked up a few statistics

about our baseball team, Charlie Brown.

I think you'll find

they have something to say to all of us.

I'll bet they have a lot to say.

What do they have to say?

Well, last year

our opponents scored 3000 runs...

...to our total of six runs.

They made 4900 hits to our 11 hits.

And they made four errors

to our 375 errors.

And while we were losing

999 straight games, we...

I don't think

I'm gonna get much sleep tonight.

See you tomorrow, Linus.

And thanks for the statistics.

Charlie Brown,

do your team a big favor tomorrow.

- What's that?

- Don't show up.

I've got five boys, three girls,

and a dog who can't throw.

And every time we lose,

they call me a blockhead.

They never let me forget

the mistakes I make.

Never.

Why do we have to suffer

every year like this?

Maybe that blockhead Charlie Brown

won't show up this time...

...and we'll have a chance.

Well, team, here I am.

ALL:

Disaster time. We're doomed.

What a team. Good grief.

No manager goes through what I do.

All right, now,

this season's going to be different.

What's gonna make it different?

Well, first, last year

we hit into too many double plays.

Therefore, I've arranged a demonstration

on how to avoid double plays against us.

Snoopy is the runner coming in from first

to break up the play at second.

Now, watch carefully.

The play begins with Linus fielding.

Linus fields the ball.

[GROWLING]

Are there any questions?

I have a question, Charlie Brown.

Do I have to play right field again?

Nobody in the stands

can see my naturally curly hair.

And if I don't get time off

to practice Beethoven...

...I'm not going to play catcher.

And we can't keep up

all that ridiculous infield chatter.

Like, "come on, charlie Brown.

Attaboy. You can do it."

Because you can't do it, charlie Brown.

So you're turning us into

a bunch of hypocrites.

And we don't like being hypocrites.

Baseball is supposed to build character,

not tear it down.

All right, all right.

Let's show a little cooperation.

Take your positions.

- Pigpen, has the other team shown up?

- Unfortunately, yes.

All right, here we go.

The first pitch of the season.

I have to get this first one

right over the plate.

There it is. Right over the plate,

and clear over the backstop.

What kind of a pitcher are you?

You threw the first ball of the season

clear over the backstop.

It sort of got away from me.

Well, try to be more careful,

Charlie Brown.

You almost hit my mother.

It's good to be back

on the mound again.

The sun is shining

and my arm feels great.

Everything is just like it was

in the good old days.

[BAT HITS BALL]

Unfortunately.

All right. So they have a man on first.

If this team is gonna beat us,

they're really gonna have to try.

[BAT HITS BALL]

I hate it when they try.

[BAT HITS BALL]

[BAT HITS BALL]

[BAT HITS BALL]

[BAT HITS BALL]

[BAT HITS BALL]

I just have to concentrate.

I just have to bear down.

I just have to...

[BAT HITS BALL]

- Frieda, how are things in right field?

- Kind of boring.

You going to the party

Wednesday afternoon?

I sure am.

You should see

what my mother bought me to wear.

It's a white party dress

with a huge sash...

[BALL FALLING]

...of sugar-pink satin.

That's the old pepper, charlie, old boy.

That's a pitching in there.

The slow ball is working

pretty well today, Charlie Brown.

Let's fool this next guy.

Give him your fastball.

I've been giving them my fastball.

Don't tell me you're thinking about

eating at a time like this.

Are you out of your mind?

Get back to your position

and take that stupid dish with you.

And pay attention to the ball game.

[BAT HITS BALL]

[SNEEZES]

Some of these infielders

are kind of touchy.

[BAT HITS BALL]

ALL:

It's a high fly ball!

- Catch it, Charlie Brown!

- Catch it.

Have you got it, Charlie Brown?

- Don't miss it.

- Get under it, Charlie Brown.

- Isn't this exciting?

- What if he drops it?

If he drops it, let's all kick him.

- It's coming down, charlie Brown.

- The fly ball is coming down.

If I catch it, I'll be the hero.

If I miss it, I'll be the goat.

[BALL FALLING]

I can hear it.

Charlie "The Goat" Brown.

ALL:

Oh!

I had the ball right in my glove

and I dropped it.

Rats. Another game lost. I really thought

we were going to win this one.

For one brief moment

victory was within our grasp.

And then the game started.

A hundred and twenty-three to nothing.

Good grief.

What a way to lose

your first game of the season.

- By the way, where'd everybody go?

- They all went off to cry. Sniff, sniff.

- All of them?

- All of them.

[CRYING]

I quit.

I refuse to play anymore

on a team that never wins.

Don't quit, violet, please. We need you.

We need to stick together as a team.

After all, it's not the winning

that counts, the fun is in the playing.

- Oh, brother.

- I'm quitting.

It's ridiculous to keep playing on a team

that always loses.

This team will never amount to anything.

I refuse to play left field

for a sinking ship.

We're through with baseball.

We're going to enjoy summer

like the other kids.

I'm sorry, charlie Brown,

but I guess I'll quit too.

It's hard to play on a team

that always loses.

It's depressing.

I'm the kind

who needs to win now and then.

With you, it's different.

I think you get sort of a neurotic

pleasure out of losing all the time.

That's all I need,

Little League psychiatry.

My whole team is deserting me.

I wonder who will be next.

I don't know what to do.

I must be a terrible manager.

Maybe for the sake of the team

I ought to resign.

What's the rush?

After 999 games,

don't I deserve one more chance?

[READING ON-SCREEN TEXT]

LINUS:
Thank you, Mr. Hennessey.

I'll tell charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown, guess what.

Mr. Hennessey was wondering

if you'd like to get in a real league.

I don't get it, Linus.

Mr. Hennessey

wants to sponsor our team.

Sponsor our team?

Sure, Charlie Brown.

Real uniforms and everything.

That's great.

Wait till the team hears about this.

That's just the inspiration

we need, Linus.

Now nothing will stop us.

Maybe we'll win one in a row.

I don't think we should

get involved with this, Snoopy.

No one else will play baseball anyway.

They're all doing other things.

You'd better forget it, charlie Brown.

See you later.

Hey, don't go.

This will really inspire the team.

Real uniforms,

a real league, real equipment.

Uniforms, uniforms.

Don't I look nice in my bikini?

Nope.

- Don't I look like a beach bunny?

- Nope.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

He never says what he means.

LINUS:

Surf's up!

Surf's up!

Wipe out!

Who wants to apply

mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

Bleh.

[COUGHING]

Listen, everybody.

Charlie Brown, you can't possibly

imagine how glad we'll all be...

...when summer is over

and you're back in school.

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