Charlie Wilson's War

The defeat and breakup

of the Soviet empire,

culminating in the crumbling

of the Berlin Wall,

is one of the great

events of world history.

There were many heroes in this battle,

but to Charlie Wilson must

go this special recognition.

Just 13 years ago, the Soviet

Army appeared to be invincible.

But Charlie, undeterred,

engineered a lethal body blow

that weakened the Communist empire.

Without Charlie,

history would be hugely

and sadly different.

And so, for the first time,

a civilian is being given

our highest recognition,

that of Honored Colleague.

Ladies and gentlemen of

the Clandestine Services,

Congressman Charles Wilson.

It'd be like Dallas.

That's right.

You know what I'm saying?

Like Dallas but set in Washington.

Yeah. And you should

say it just like that.

When I pitch it.

You should say it just...

"Oh, this is f***ing great. "

You should say it just like that.

Dallas set in Washington D.C.

You know, with the intrigue

and the power plays

and the overt natural sex.

The glamour, the power.

Do you know what I'm saying?

It's f***ing Dallas.

Or, or Falcon Crest.

Yes.

That's set in Washington.

Say it to Charlie like that.

The resistance fighters

disguised us as one of them.

Charlie.

It's like Dallas but in Washington.

With Crystal in the starring role.

Yeah.

You tell me when to watch.

I'll make sure I'm home.

You don't think I can make it happen?

I don't know anything about

how any of that works.

- I do.

- You said that you would listen to him.

That's why we're here.

Do they routinely give starring

roles on network programs

to people who haven't acted

professionally before?

She was just on the f***ing

cover of Playboy, Charlie.

Well, I guess that's

just the same thing.

Would you take this seriously, please?

I am taking it seriously, hon,

but can you all tell me something?

What is...

What is Dan Rather wearing right now?

- What?

- Dan Rather.

What is he wearing?

You're watching TV?

Why hasn't he shaved?

Well, who gives a damn?

Excuse me! Hey! Excuse me,

could you turn that up?

Could you just turn up

the volume on the TV?

Oh, I'm completely high.

Yeah. Okay.

Still, could you just

grab the remote there

and find the volume button?

Charlie, are we gonna do business?

Dan Rather is wearing a turban,

Paul. Don't you want to know why?

He's doing a thing from India.

- No, that's Afghanistan.

- Got it.

- Appreciate it.

- We got it... We captured it

- from the Afghan, the Afghan army.

- Thank you.

- Does he have ammunition for this?

- He has three.

But does he have ammunition?

A lot of ammunition?

Well, he's talking about the mujahideen.

No, we don't, we didn't capture any.

Priests?

No, mujahideen means,

like, holy warriors.

Priests!

How the hell am I supposed to know?

Paul.

And he was... He is saying that, you

know, America seems to be asleep.

It doesn't seem to realize

that if Afghanistan goes

and the Russians go over to the Gulf,

that in a very short time,

it's going to be the turn of

the United States as well.

I'm sure he knows that in Vietnam...

Excuse me.

We were just wondering

what you do for a living.

I'm not a police officer, if

that's what you're asking.

No. We just... We don't meet a lot

of guys here who both, you know,

know about the world and like to party.

No.

I'm a member of the U.S.

House of Representatives.

I'm sorry?

I'm a Congressman.

Are you kidding?

No. No, I'm absolutely serious.

I'm Charlie Wilson. I represent

the Texas Second Congressional.

Texas. And this is Crystal Lee.

This is Paul Brown.

What are your names?

- Stacey.

- Stacey.

Kelly.

Kelly. Well, it's nice to meet you both.

If you are a Congressman should you

be in here with strippers and blow?

Hey, I'm not a stripper.

I am a stripper.

I'm a stripper.

Yes, see, they were

talking about themselves.

You know, you do have a point there.

I really should get going.

A little pruney.

Look, Charlie, I need

$29,000 to make it happen.

And you know I can make it happen,

and you know you want in on this.

Hey, who wants to take a

ride with me to the airport?

- Oh, me!

- Paul?

Okay.

A holy war against the Soviets.

A war they say that,

if they get weapons,

from us or anyone else in the

free world, they will win.

Yeah, I'm with Congressman

Charles Wilson and Crystal Lee.

I wish he wouldn't do that.

From Texas.

Has there ever been a

show about Washington?

- I don't think there has.

- Me, neither.

Thank you. We got the suite

another night. Comped.

- Should I go back?

- No.

- You can't stay another night?

- No. No.

Stay another night.

I can't. I have a vote.

What, an important one?

- Yes.

- What is it?

Well, it's a non-binding resolution

expressing the sense of the Congress

that the Department of Defense should

continue to exercise its authority

to support the Boy Scouts of America.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

Come on, Charlie, call, raise or fold.

I want to get an answer on this thing

that Crystal and I want to do.

First off, I'd appreciate it

if you didn't throw my

name around quite so much,

'cause, from time to time, I use it

myself, and I need it in good condition.

Second, I'm from Lufkin, Texas.

I'm the son of an accountant

for a timber company.

I take home about 700 bucks

a week, and I pay alimony,

so the idea that I got $29,000 in

the bank is pretty hysterical.

That said, I love your idea.

- Crys, I'll call you this week.

- Okay.

All right.

Stacey, Kelly, nice to meet you both.

Are you Nevada residents?

- Yeah.

- Well, don't forget to vote.

Bye. We love you!

We love you!

Oh, it helps not to know me.

Oh! That is for you.

- Thank you, sir.

- Thank you.

- Bye!

- Bye, Charlie.

I love Las Vegas!

All right, what else?

That Dairy Queen guy, Larry Liddle,

- is sitting in your office.

- Hey.

Yeah, I told him he could come in.

He wants to talk to you about a creche.

What, a nativity scene with baby Jesus?

Yeah, it's on public property,

and the city's making him move it.

Sh*t. I thought he was just coming in

- to get his picture took, you know?

- Congressman.

- Yeah?

- You're exactly who I need to speak to.

- You have a moment?

- Sure.

- Tip asked me to talk to you.

- Okay.

He wanted me to talk to

you about John Murtha.

- Go ahead.

- The prosecutor's gonna go after him.

Well, they ain't gonna find anything.

John Murtha's as clean as

my mother's kitchen floor.

Yeah, but Tip would like to put you

on the Ethics Committee just the same.

- You're kidding.

- No.

Well, Jesus, Donnelly,

everyone in town knows

I'm on the other side of that issue.

- Ethics?

- Yeah!

Well, the Speaker would like to

put you on the committee anyway.

Okay. Well, if anyone asks what the

hell I'm doing on the Ethics Committee,

we'll just tell them I like

chasing women and drinking whiskey

and the Speaker felt we

were underrepresented.

- One man, one vote.

- Exactly.

Tip's gonna want to return the favor.

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