Charlie Wilson's War Page #2

- Tuesday, right?

- That is Tuesday, yes.

So if anything comes

up that you'd like me

to speak with him about, please...

Yes.

Yes!

I'd like to be on the Board of

Directors of the Kennedy Center.

- Charlie.

- I'm sorry?

Turns out Congress appoints the Board

of Directors of the Kennedy Center.

It's a great place to take a date,

and I can never afford the tickets.

- Consider it done.

- Excellent.

Go vote.

Another few minutes.

Let's see what's on the wires.

Why can't you wait for

newspapers like everybody else?

'Cause I think it's productive

to know today's news today.

And it makes me one day smarter

than you, which I enjoy as well.

I know you do.

You don't think that's a little crazy?

Pan Am and Eastern are

lowering their fares.

'Cause of Braniff.

What's a little crazy?

Joining the Board of the Kennedy Center

so you can get free tickets

to the Royal Ballet of...

- Hold on.

- What?

AP story out of Kabul.

Uzbekistan?

Afghanistan.

Russia, Afghanistan, Pakistan,

Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia,

Jordan, Israel, Egypt.

Jim Van Wagenen's our

point man on black approps

for the Defense Subcommittee?

Yeah.

Have him come to my office

as soon as possible.

- How am I voting on this?

- Yes.

- You sure?

- Yes.

The Boy Scouts?

Jim Van Wagenen. Get him and

show him that wire story.

- Yes, sir.

- You are the man I wanted to talk to.

The Congressman will

be here in a moment.

He's just coming up from a vote.

I'm sure it's an important one.

No. Not really.

So, Marla, can you fit this

into his schedule next week?

Charlie Wilson's office. Good morning.

The third...

It is? How are you?

- Suzanne, can you help me with this?

- Okay.

- I'll be right back.

- I'll have him do it.

Okay, bye-bye.

- Miss?

- Yes, sir?

It seems to me, looking around, that

it's almost all women working here,

and that they're all very pretty.

Is that common?

Well,

Congressman Wilson,

he has an expression.

He says, "You can teach them to type,

but you can't teach them to grow tits. "

Well, that's charming.

- Larry!

- Congressman!

No, no, no. For $5,000 every two

years you get to call me Charlie.

And for 10,000, you can call me Betty

Sue and I'll clean

out your rain gutters.

This is my daughter, Jane.

Well, now I remember Jane.

Two-L at SMU.

Charlie Wilson's office.

Good morning.

Welcome to the United States Congress.

Hey, I'm gonna talk to your

daddy for a couple of seconds.

Larry, can we get you a drink?

It's 10:
00 in the morning.

Well, fair enough, I guess.

Grab a seat.

Now, this situation with the

creche, I want to know all about it.

Well, sir,

Every single year since

the world was young,

the firehouse in the Nacogdoches

Township has displayed a creche.

Now, the ACLU has filed

suit against the township

for displaying a religious

symbol on public property.

- It's Christmas time.

- It's a creche.

I could understand if we

were in gosh-darn Scarsdale,

but this is east Texas, and I

want to know who we're offending.

Except two lawyers from the ACLU.

That is a terribly interesting

and complicated question.

Let me make this suggestion, though.

There's a church about

a block and a half

from that firehouse, First

Baptist Church of Nacogdoches.

They've got a beautiful rolling

lawn out there in front.

No, no. This is a

Christian country, Charlie,

- founded on Christian values.

- Sure.

We welcome other faiths

to worship as they wish,

but when you can't put a nativity scene

in front of a firehouse at Christmas

time in Nacogdoches Township,

something's gone terribly wrong.

Well, that's not really true, Larry.

You could move that creche

over to that church

and everything's just fine.

That's not the point!

Okay. Why don't we just

start back at the beginning?

What can I do for you?

You can intervene in the case

against the creche committee.

Intervene? How?

You appointed the judge.

I don't appoint judges.

I just made a recommendation

to the President.

Uh-huh.

I think you and I both

know what that means.

I cannot just call up a judge

and tell him what to do.

- Why?

- Well, 'cause it's against a shitload

of really good laws, Gary.

- Larry.

- Larry.

I got to go talk to this

guy out here for a second.

Will you excuse me?

By the way, I love Jesus Christ

and his mother Mary as much as anybody.

About 38 churches you could move

that creche to, everybody lives.

- Give me a call.

- Okay.

I love Chivas.

Jane, how are you?

You need a cup of coffee?

- Something to drink?

Anything like that?

Okay. Mmm-mmm.

- Jim.

- Congressman.

You see Lederer's AP story out of Kabul?

Yeah. We're reading this

story every day now.

You see Dan Rather last night?

Yeah. I did.

Tell me something. What is the

Defense Subcommittee's budget

for covert ops against the

Communists in Afghanistan?

- All in?

- All in.

It's 5 million.

Well, they can't shoot down

helicopters for $5 million, Jim.

Though they're trying to. Which

is more than I can say for us.

Get everybody together

for me, would you?

And double it.

Charlie Wilson's office.

Okay, I'm sorry, sir?

The covert ops budget. Double it.

Okay.

This ain't gonna be much longer, okay?

Here's what I'm gonna do, Larry.

Charlie Wilson's office.

Maybe in about 20 minutes.

He's just going into a meeting.

Sure.

My XO wrote in a report,

I was the best officer he

ever served at sea with,

and the worst officer he

ever served in port with.

You can look it up.

I must've graduated from Annapolis

with the second most

demerits of any midshipman

in the history of the Naval Academy.

Well, who had the most?

I want to sleep with him.

It's hotter here in D.C.

than in Nacogdoches,

so I hope you don't mind, I

took off a few of my clothes.

Well, I'm just gonna have

to live with that, Jane.

Just call me angel of the morning, angel

Just touch my cheek before you leave me

Come on over here. I'm gonna show

you the best view in the District.

You want some of this?

No, no, I got this.

I like both.

Well, it must be great being me.

I've heard it is.

Iwo Jima Memorial.

There's the Lincoln.

Washington. Now follow

it around to the right.

The Jefferson Memorial.

The Arlington Bridge.

And there's the Pentagon.

Oh, that's the Pentagon.

That's the Pentagon.

How about I show you the second

best view in the District?

Why, Jane, would you like...

Well, that was predictable.

Just give me one second.

- Hello?

- That was an extraordinary thing

you did today.

Who is this?

It's Joanne.

Joanne!

Why, gosh, how nice to hear from you.

Could I call you back in a little bit?

Is Ronald Reagan in

your bedroom right now?

- No.

- Then I'm considerably more important

- than whoever is.

- Is anything wrong?

This is gonna take just a second or two.

Okay, I'm all yours.

What did I do that was so extraordinary?

"Double it. "

'Cause I was told you

didn't have a girlfriend.

What?

You told Jim Van Wagenen to double it.

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