Charlie Wilson's War Page #3

Well, sh*t, Joanne, I don't

know what you're talking about,

and if I did, it'd be classified,

and I'd wonder where

you got your information

on the Subcommittee.

Oh, what do you care, hon?

It's a little matter of

national security...

and I can't help but think...

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

Hold on. I am sorry,

but I was told you didn't

have a girlfriend.

I don't. This isn't my girlfriend.

It's the sixth wealthiest

woman in Texas.

Which is still pretty good.

Okay, so, hi.

A friend of mine has made a

terrific movie about the need

for American aid to Afghanistan.

- He's made a movie?

- Yes.

I'm gonna run this movie Friday

night at my house at a fundraiser.

You know, you've never

been to my house, Charlie.

You want me to come to

Houston and see a movie?

There'll be women and wealthy donors.

See you Friday.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey.

Mmm-mmm.

- Hey.

- Mmm-mmm.

Thank you, Joanne.

Okay. I know it was difficult for

you to come in here, hat in hand.

That's not the kind of upbringing, I

guess, is the word I'm looking for.

It's not the kind of man

you are. I understand that.

I'm not looking to humiliate

you or exact a price in any way,

so why don't you just apologize?

We'll call it water under the dam,

and we'll go about our business.

Excuse me, what the f***?

- What?

- What the f*** are you talking about?

Clair George said you were

coming in here to apologize.

No, I'm supposed to come in here

so you could apologize to me.

- According to whom?

- Clair George.

You told me to go f*** myself.

I'm supposed to apologize to you?

Also, water goes over a dam and

under a bridge, you poncy schoolboy.

Clearly there's been a miscommunication

between Clair George and somebody.

- Excuse me.

- Yes?

- Does this look all right?

- It's fine.

Thank you.

I can sand it down a little.

I, I don't know.

I have no f***ing idea who this guy is.

He is here to fix the glass that you

broke the last time you were here.

- Could you just excuse

us for a second there?

Yes.

You tell me to go f*** myself

and I'm supposed to apologize?

You break my window,

- I'm supposed to apologize?

- The Helsinki job was mine!

The Helsinki job was not yours. If

it was yours, you'd be in Helsinki.

- Alan Wolfe stood in this office!

- Alan Wolfe

- is no longer the Director.

- Yeah, it was on the books!

Alan Wolfe is no longer the

Director of European Operations.

He does not make those

appointments. I do.

- Promises were made.

- Not by me.

I've been with the company for 24 years.

I was posted in Greece for 15.

Papandreou wins that election if I

don't help the junta take him prisoner.

I've advised and armed

the Hellenic army.

I've neutralized champions of Communism.

I've spent the past three

years learning Finnish!

Which should come in

handy here in Virginia!

And I'm never, ever, sick at sea.

So I want to know why I'm not gonna

be your Helsinki station chief.

- You're coarse.

- Excuse me?

For Helsinki, I need someone

with diplomatic skills.

- You don't have them.

- Is that right?

That is right. And I don't know

why the hell I didn't fire you

when you broke my f***ing window!

Oh, yes, sure you do, Cravely.

- Look, Gust...

- Yeah, you're f***ing Roger's fiancee

and you know I know.

I'm not... I'm not even gonna

dignify that with a response.

Yeah, yeah, you're

dignifying her in the ass

at the Jefferson Hotel, room 1210.

But let me ask you. The

3,000 agents Turner fired

was that because they lacked

diplomatic skills as well?

You're referring to

Admiral Stansfield Turner?

Yeah, the 3,000 agents.

Each and every goddamn one of them

first or second generation Americans.

Is that because they lack

the proper diplomatic skills?

Or did Turner not think it

was a good idea to have spies

who could speak the same language as

the people they're f***ing spying on?

Well, I'm sorry, but you can

hardly blame the Director

for questioning the loyalty to America

of people that are just barely Americans

- in the first place.

- Yeah, well, I'd like to take a moment

to review the several ways

in which you're a douchebag.

- Get the f*** out of my office!

- Yes, sir.

Before I end your career, a**hole.

Yes, sir!

Yeah, my friend, I'm gonna

need you for a second.

God damn it!

My loyalty?

For 24 years, people have

been trying to kill me.

People who know how.

Now, do you think that's because

my dad was a Greek soda pop maker

or do you think that's

because I'm an American spy?

Go f*** yourself, you f***ing child.

How was I?

Thank you.

There's a woman in Aliquippa,

Pennsylvania, named Nitsa.

And she thinks she's a witch.

Yeah, she offered to put

a curse on Cravely for me.

Yeah?

And she...

She asked me do I want a professional

curse or a health curse.

"If it's a health curse,

I can do it right away,

"but a professional curse takes longer. "

Well, I'm living proof

she's right about that.

- Did you get the brownie?

- Oh, no, sir, I didn't.

I got you.

I'm reading transcripts

of phone conversations

between French and German generals

arguing over office space

at NATO headquarters

and analyzing wiretaps out

of Mercury Bay, New Zealand.

You know, historically, a hotbed

of anti-American activity.

Yeah, nobody will come

near me. I'm in the weeds.

You know, a typical case officer

doesn't walk into his boss's office

and tell him to go f*** himself. Twice.

I just told you, I paid a

witch in Pennsylvania $80

to put a curse on Henry Cravely for me.

- Do I sound like a

typical case officer?

No.

Well, then, let's assume I'm not.

Listen. If you're really

not doing anything,

why don't you come

upstairs and work with us?

What are you doing?

Killing Russians.

Our next slave girl is a Texas

rose named Ashley Rensler.

Ashley is prelaw at U. T.,

and her three sorority sisters

from Delta Delta Delta will

wash your car or truck

in special outfits they have

chosen for the occasion.

So, who wants their wheels cleaned clean

as a whistle by a 19-year-old lawyer

and her three friends from Tri-Delt?

I have 10,000, who'll give me 11?

11, 11, I got 11.

I got 15 right here.

Thank you very much.

Oh, my God, she is a Minute Woman.

No, she's a Tri-Delt.

No, she is a Minute Woman, Charlie.

Oh. Joanne.

Yeah, she's a direct descendant

of George Washington's sister.

Says she had a great uncle

who was killed at the Alamo.

Former Miss Cotton Bowl.

Had her own local television talk show.

Look. Pakistan's Honorary

Consul to Houston, Texas.

How's that for a title, huh?

This is an ultra-right wing

group of anti-Communist fanatics.

They're not ultra-right wing.

What are they?

Well, they're ultra-right wing.

What are you doing

hanging around this woman?

Did you hear me say she was

a former Miss Cotton Bowl?

You are unbelievable.

Oh, come on.

You're gonna love her.

And, you know, one of the things

she's trying to do over there

is liberate the women.

And what better way than

through a slave girl auction?

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