Charlie Wilson's War Page #9

Joanne is raising awareness.

She's using a non-secular vocabulary

and framing this as a religious war.

And America doesn't

fight religious wars.

- Is that right?

- Yeah, that's why I like living there.

Good morning, ladies and

gentlemen. This is your captain.

We will begin our initial descent

into Washington Dulles Airport. I

got to go down to Houston, so...

...I would like to

thank you and hope...

- Well, talk to her.

- Yeah, I'll talk to her.

You want me to go into

business with the Israelis?

Just for this one purpose,

yes, Mr. President.

The Israelis have the largest stockpile...

of Soviet-made weapons

in friendly hands.

I know that.

I need to trust that this

arrangement will remain secret.

Pakistan and Israel would have to

appear to be enemies in the public eye.

Yeah, I don't think that's a tough sell.

You have authority to do this?

None whatsoever. In fact, I'm pretty

close to violating the Logan Act.

Well, I don't know what that is.

- But, Charlie.

- Yes, sir.

If I see one f***ing Star

of David on a crate...

You won't. I promise.

Hey.

Excuse me.

You want me to take a

look at those remarks?

- Why?

Just... Well, your introduction,

want me to look it over?

It's an introduction,

Charlie. I'll be fine.

Today we honor President

Zia ul-Haq of Pakistan.

Before we go any further, I

would like you all to know this,

President Zia did not kill Bhutto.

In the time that he's been President,

the fortunes of Pakistan

have changed radically.

I've asked you all here today...

You disappeared.

Well, they weren't

selling alcohol in there.

It's a traditional Pakistani gathering.

You think they might be

a lot happier over there

if they could just get women and booze

in the same room at the same time?

I think they'd be a whole

lot happier over there

if the Communists got out.

"Zia did not kill Bhutto. "

That's not something you usually

hear in introductory remarks.

He didn't, Charlie.

Bhutto had a trial and was found guilty.

Shocking verdict.

What did you need to talk to me about?

Joanne, darling, dial down the religion.

- What?

- It could alienate people

whose support we need.

It's luncheons like this that

are raising the money we need.

This thing is not gonna get done

by ballrooms full of people

in the Houstonian Hotel.

It's gonna get done by the CIA,

Israel, Egypt and Pakistan,

and it's gonna get done quietly.

Now, you start making people think

we're trying to convert

everybody to Christianity.

I was saved by Jesus Christ,

Charlie, and I am not ashamed of it.

My fervor is not about religion,

it's about freedom of religion,

which we have, they want,

and the Communists are

slaughtering them for.

And I get it.

Just tamp down the fervor.

Well, I can't modulate

God's will, sweetie.

You can try.

Now, I got to get back to D.C.

They've set up a briefing

for me at Langley.

- On what?

- On getting the guns.

Afghanistan's barely a country.

There's no phones or

roads outside the cities.

It's likely that a villager

would live his life

without having contact with another

village just three miles down the road

unless he was going to war against them.

Now, my thinking is instead

of 400,000 sloppy guys,

we concentrate on several elite

forces totaling about 150,000.

Give these guys real training,

20 different courses covering

irregular warfare disciplines.

And do you have anybody in mind?

The most successful rebels today

are in the Panjshir Valley.

They're called the United Front

of the Council of the North.

We've earmarked them for

10 million in weapons

and 10 to 15 agency

advisors for training.

- Who's their leader?

- Ahmed Shah Massoud.

He's Tajik, so he's not

well liked by the Pashtun.

So the... What, the Tajiks have

a problem with the Pashtuns?

Well, they say when a Tajik

wants to make love to a woman,

his first choice is

always a Pashtun man.

It's funnier in the original Pashto.

All right, I've heard enough.

I'm going to go get our money.

All right, don't f*** us up now.

Awesome pep talk.

Afghanistan, Egypt,

Pakistan and Saudi Arabia,

these are all totalitarian

dictatorships.

And they'd like to blow

the only democracy...

in the region right

into the Mediterranean.

Now, you heard me say that

Israel's gonna be on board.

Oh, well, Zvi Rafiah's out of his mind.

These people are draconian thugs,

and in an evil and twisted derby

between the Communists

and the Fundamentalists,

it's 6-to-5 and pick them,

as far as I'm concerned.

No, you're wrong about that, Doc,

and you know you don't mean it.

In Pakistan, a blind girl gets

raped, but there's a witness.

Now, in Pakistan it

takes four witnesses.

So the rapist walks away

and the girl is in prison.

Can you tell me why?

- Well, fornication.

- That's right.

Mr. Chairman, President Zia is the

only one willing to shoulder the risk

of actively training and

funding the mujahideen

while Egypt and Saudi Arabia...

Now, the Saudis are matching

any funding from Congress?

- That's right.

- So when you say 40 million to me,

you're really talking about 80 million.

Only 40 from us.

You want to put $80 million

in the hands of these people?

No, see, Doc, now, if you took

a trip with me to the border,

you'd stop calling them "these people. "

They are farmers and children mostly,

and they are fighting

our enemies for us.

I know.

And that should be

impossible for America.

- I know.

- It should be impossible for America

to sit on the bench while little kids

and their mothers fight our enemies.

Now, all you have to do to

change that is to support me

in the Committee, Mr. Chairman.

I'm sorry, Charlie, but doubling

from 5 to 10 million is one thing,

but, you know, I just

can't get behind this.

Joanne Herring's

residence. Who's speaking?

Miss Herring, Congressman

Wilson for you.

- Hello.

- Hey.

Tell me what's happening.

Well, I need Doc Long, and

he's not getting on board.

Now, he's a church-going

guy, so I thought,

- you know, maybe you could...

- So now you need God.

Yeah. Let me give you his private line.

I've got it.

- Trish!

- Yes, ma'am.

- Boss?

- Yeah.

- Hey, that's a nice sweater.

- Oh, thank you.

The Washington Times wants to know

if you've ever been in rehab.

- Well, what are you gonna tell them?

- That you won't go to rehab

'cause they don't serve whiskey there.

Well, that's why you're the

press secretary, boo-boo.

- I've got Stu on the

line. Can you jump on?

Yeah.

Hey, Stu, it's me.

All right.

No, she's not a stripper, Stu.

She just posed for the cover...

Oh, what the hell

difference does it make?

They're talking to Crystal today.

Yeah.

Giuliani subpoenaed the limo driver.

Oh, that's what Gus said he'd do.

Well, the limo driver said

he didn't see anything.

He didn't see anything.

So Giuliani subpoenaed every limo driver

between Arlington and

Silver Spring to see...

if any of them can recall

you using cocaine.

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