Cheech and Chong's The Corsican Brothers Page #5

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I've got so much to tell you.

Now, listen. Listen close.

You're not screaming.

Why don't you s--

why don't you scream?!

That don't hurt.

You think that hurt?

That don't hurt.

Come on, let me down from here.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm not supposed

to be doing this.

I'm Catholic.

This is worse

than the lnquisition.

My God, I'm gonna

make you scream.

Come on, let me down from here.

Ah, this one is going

to hurt, by God!

Strong men have died

before now with this one.

This is Montezuma's

revenge, eh?

That's strange.

Is something wrong?

Having fun?

Come on, let me down from here.

I'm getting tired from this.

You've--you've got

bad circulation.

We're gonna try it

upside-down.

Hey, come on. I gotta go

to the bathroom.

Now, let me down from here.

Well, this will stop you

going to the bathroom.

Don't worry.

Now, my God...

you're going to

feel it this time.

Oh, my God.

Why don't you scream?

If you don't let me

down from here...

I'm going to give you

such a scream.

Now, let me down!

C'est Fuckaire.

He has my brother.

It's getting cold in here.

You got a blanket or something?

My God!

He's inhuman!

He's going to be

the death of me...

and I'm not even

going to enjoy it.

My brother...

my brother's in trouble.

Don't you ever want to scream,

"I'm burning! I'm--"

What took you

so long, my brother?

Get away from him!

He's mine!

I hit you, and he screams?

Nostradamus, join the party.

We need some new blood.

So glad to see you.

You kissed me!

You got the whip?

It's my turn. Come, quick!

What took you so long?

Are you all right, my brother?

Fix my feet. Would you

do my ankles, please?

I like the ankle straps

with shoes.

Thank you.

Could you please

do the other one?

You're so kind.

Yes, that's it.

Nice and tight.

That's beautiful.

Beautiful.

Now...whip me!

Whip you?

Oh, yeah, sure.

I'll whip you.

No, my brother.

We don't have time.

Of course you have time.

We must go free my people.

Free your people?

You got another party?

They're tied up somewhere else?

I'll join the other

party, but don't go!

Please! No! Whip me!

You can have a quick

whip-round. Please!

Guards! Guards!

Stop them!

They're escaping!

They haven't whipped me!

Guards!

Where are those guards?

There's no guards, man.

Come on. Let's go.

No, we must fight

our way out of this.

We must fight our way

to freedom.

We can't fight here.

Come on.

You're right. We can't

fight here. Not here.

Fight down here.

Right here.

This is the place to fight.

This way, our back is protected.

What are you talking about?

Let's get out of here!

Come on.

There's nobody here.

Guards! Get out here and fight!

Come on! Get out here,

you cowards!

Go back, back, back!

It's a mistake!

Come, come!

No, don't run!

Come back and fight!

No, run!

Go back to sleep.

Come, fight!

Come on, you cowards!

Let's fight!

No, let's not fight.

Let's kiss.

Go back.

There they are.

Please, my darling.

Go back.

I've been looking

all over for you.

Don't hurt her.

Don't hurt her.

How charming.

We give up.

Back! Back!

You call yourselves guards?

So, my friends.

We have caught you, eh?

And you wouldn't

beat me, eh?

So, now I'm going

to whip you to death.

You may whip us, Fuckaire...

but you'll never beat us.

Corsican Brothers!

My friends,

at last you must learn...

Ne fuc pas avec moi!

To the dungeons with them!

Don't worry, my brother.

They can't stop men

who want to be free.

Oh, mother!

Your hair!

I told you never

to call me "Mother."

Yes, I can see it, my brother.

What is it?

I can see the Big Dipper.

Big Dipper?

Yes, I can,

and I can see Venus...

and I can see the moon.

All I see is Uranus.

It's out there, my brother.

Yes. We're in luck...

because if that's

the Big Dipper...

That means the North Star is--

Let's see. You take

the bottom star from the cup...

and you align it

with the handle.

You know what I see?

I see a big idiot

standing in front of me.

Why do we always gotta

stay and fight?

Why couldn't we escape

when we had the chance?

My brother,

there are some things...

that you cannot run away from.

If this revolution

is to survive...

men like me must fight.

Even though the cause

is hopeless...

we must fight

to free our brothers...

from the chains of oppression.

What brothers

are you talkin' about?

The only brothers

I see around here is me...

and all you do

is get us caught!

Did you ever stop to think that

maybe you're the only guy...

in the revolution?

You know, like,

where's your followers, huh?

Hey. Would you follow

this guy into a revolution?

Of course not,

'cause you got half a brain.

So, who's following him?

I've got an idea.

Quick. Take off your clothes.

Hey, wait a minute.

We're brothers.

Look, take off your clothes.

Hey, you haven't been

in jail that long.

This should be enough rope.

Look, if we're gonna

hang ourselves...

Iet me be the first to go.

I'm tired and hungry...

and now I'm cold, too.

Just think of a way

to get through those bars.

Hey! Watch out up there!

It's amazing.

This French bread gets stale,

it gets as hard as a rock.

So what?

You know? This just might be

the tool we've been looking for.

I think I can

get through now, my brother.

I did it.

Quick. Throw me the rope.

Hold on tight, my brother.

I smell freedom.

I smell--

I smell food.

I must be imagining things.

Chicken.

Wait!

But Lucien was not

a man to forget his brother.

He remembered how they had loved

and cherished each other...

through the long years

of separation...

how deeply the fate of one had

always affected the other...

and his loyalty strengthened

his heroic resolve.

And so, for his beloved

brother Louie...

Lucien prepared to draw together

his peasant followers...

and bring an end

to oppression forever.

Come here, my brothers.

The time has come.

Listen to me.

We have been living like

miserable dogs long enough!

We must fight

to take back what is ours!

We must tear down

this miserable government...

and replace it

with our own people!

Are you with me?!

I said, are you with me?!

All right.

Let's organize and fight!

Enough!

Now, today is

a special occasion.

Today, we have the 5,000th

execution this month, eh?

I'm very grateful

to all you dirty peasants...

for putting

your heads together...

to increase productivity.

And for this special occasion,

we have a special execution.

None other than

that disgusting, driveling...

dirty peasant,

the Corsican Brother.

Perhaps, you dirty peasant, you

would like to say a last word.

Fuckaire!

The only thing I want to say...

is you've kept me

in a dungeon...

and you beat me,

and you tortured me...

and you even kissed me.

And I want these people

to know...

the only thing

you've really done...

is made me really,

really hungry...

and that's not nice

to do to a Mexican.

I'm supposed to get

a last meal!

I never got a last meal!

I'd even eat French food!

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