Christmas With The Kranks

---

We should get moving. Got a big day.

Okay.

Sunday after Thanksgiving,

the busiest travel day of the year.

Can you remind me again, Blair,

why you're traveling today?

The year will fly by.

I'll be home next Christmas.

-I love you, Mommy.

-Sweetheart.

Enough of this. She's going to be fine.

Daddy.

I love you.

Bye, honey.

Love you.

I love you.

Think she'll be okay?

-She'll be better than okay.

-I meant in Peru. In the jungle.

Please stop worrying about this, okay?

The Peace Corps is not going to send her

someplace that's dangerous.

Just won't be the same.

What won't?

Christmas.

Did I tell you I'm doing dessert

for the art lunch tomorrow...

and I need a couple things from Chip's.

Here's a spot. Right there.

I need white chocolate and pistachios.

-I didn't bring the umbrella.

-I need that stuff from Chip's.

I didn't bring the umbrella.

-Well, I still need it.

-It's gonna have to wait.

-Look, you stay in the car, and I'll get a--

-I'll go.

Look, it's just sprinkling.

Listen, don't forget:

Dixon's white chocolate, one-pound bar...

and March Brothers pistachios.

Okay.

You could use an umbrella!

I just need some white chocolate.

What's the matter?

I just talked to Blair.

She called from the plane.

She called from the airplane?

Do you have any idea

how much it costs to call from an airplane?

-How is she?

-She's fine. She misses us.

-I'm standing over there. I can't--

-What? You didn't get the white chocolate.

They didn't have any.

Did you talk to Rex?

-Who's Rex?

-The butcher.

As odd as it sounds, I didn't think of asking

the butcher where the chocolate was.

-But I will.

-Thank you.

I'll go talk to Rex right now.

Maybe he'll wonder why I'm all wet.

You sure you don't need a--

-Buddy, can I get one of those?

-Sure. Thanks.

I really think you need an umbrella!

No! You know why I don't want one

of your stupid umbrellas? Because l--

Because I couldn't get any wetter!

Morning, Luther.

Hi, Mr. Krank.

Morning, Mr. Krank.

It'll be so different this Christmas,

won't it, Luther?

Yes, it will be so different.

Nothing will be the same.

For the first time in 23 years,

Blair won't be here.

Might even get depressing.

Lot of depression at Christmas, you know?

Yeah, well....

I would just love to forget about it.

What are you looking at?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Finish your pasta.

I'm finished with my pasta.

It's you I'm not finished with.

I'll be right back.

-You wait right there.

-Okay.

Luther?

What are you doing?

It's not even Saturday night.

-I have an idea.

-Yeah?

A brilliant idea.

Make sure you shut the curtains.

All right.

Come over here. Turn around.

What are you doing? Sit down.

Button up and sit down.

Look at this.

This is a little ledger

of what we spent last year for Christmas.

Look at some of this stuff.

What is this, $63 for ornament repair?

You got to be kidding me. Look at the total.

We spent $6,100 on Christmas last year.

$6,100 on--

I heard you the first time.

-With precious little to show for it.

-Where is this going?

The Caribbean.

A 10-day luxury cruise on The Jubilee.

The most luxurious ship in their fleet.

Cayman Islands.

Snorkeling. We go to Jamaica.

We windsurf, whatever the heck that is.

Look at the picture here.

The Bahamas. We sit in the sun.

-I might have to lose a little weight.

-Heck, I'll lose it for you.

What's the catch?

I wouldn't call it a catch.

We skip Christmas.

We skip Christmas?

We skip Christmas, save the money,

and spend it on us for a change.

I don't know.

Come on, please.

You and I go bask in the Caribbean sun.

-How much is this gonna cost?

-$3,000.

-We save money?

-Absolutely.

We can still give our charitable donations...

to Children's Hospital

and, of course, the church.

No, this is a total boycott, honey. Total.

It's $600.

It's a total boycott.

I'm afraid that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Well, then, no.

What a stupid idea.

You're gonna let a lousy $600

stand between us and a Caribbean cruise.

No. You are.

All right, look.

I'll match last year's contribution

to the church and to the hospital...

but not a penny more.

-When do we leave?

-High noon, Christmas day.

It's not even Saturday night.

I will not be celebrating Christmas this year.

As many of you know, Blair has joined...

the Peace Corps.

So Nora and I have decided to avoid

the rituals of Christmas...

save our money, and take a cruise.

Therefore, I will not be participating

in the usual holiday rituals.

I will buy no gifts and accept none.

Thank you, anyway.

I will not attend

the firm's black-tie Christmas dinner...

nor will I be here for the office party.

I am not angry and I will not yell...

"humbug" at anyone who offers me

a holiday greeting.

I am simply skipping Christmas.

-Hello, Mrs. Krank.

-Hello, Aubie, how are you?

I'm just a little worried

about your Christmas cards.

Why are you worried?

You always select the most beautiful cards.

You really should put your order in.

We're not gonna be ordering

Christmas cards this year.

-Do what?

-You heard me.

May I ask why not?

You know, I'm really quite late for lunch.

Bye-bye. Say hi to your mom.

But we always have

a live band at the auction.

Yeah, but last year, the band cost $15,000.

We hired a deejay for the Cancer Ball.

Ladies.

-Hi, Aubie.

-Hello.

Mrs. Krank, we forgot to talk about

your Christmas invitations.

We won't be needing those, either.

-No party?

-No Christmas Eve party?

No party this year.

She's not ordering Christmas cards either.

What's up?

We're...

taking a break.

We're not gonna do Christmas this year.

-How do you simply not do Christmas?

-You skip it.

But then what do we do Christmas Eve?

You'll think of something.

There are plenty of other parties.

But none like yours.

That's sweet.

-When do you leave?

-Christmas day.

That's an odd time to travel.

Apparently, not that many people travel

on December 25th...

and so Luther got us a great deal.

Then why don't you have the party anyway?

Because we don't want to, Merry.

We're taking a break.

One year off, no Christmas whatsoever.

-What do we do?

-I don't know.

Mr. Krank, I'm Randy Scanlon.

We're selling Christmas trees again

this year.

Got yours right here.

You got a Canadian blue spruce last year.

This one's a real beauty. Almost 10 feet tall.

Mrs. Krank likes the big ones.

Aren't they cute?

-How much is the big one?

-$90. We had to go up a little.

We're not buying a Christmas tree this year.

-Luther.

-We talked about this.

Sorry we had to go up on the price.

We're making less per tree than last year.

It's not about the money.

We're not doing Christmas this year.

We're gonna go away on a cruise.

We don't need a tree.

All right. Well, out of the frying pan...

and into the fire.

Luther.

-What?

-Come here.

-Why?

-Come here.

-What are they doing?

-Who?

-Spilling their guts to Frohmeyer.

-Not Frohmeyer.

Are you intimidated by Vic Frohmeyer?

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes