Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Page #4

- Don't argue with me. Get in.

- No.

Hello, old friend. Old Crepsley.

How's the scar?

Shall I give you another?

Hello, bag of blood.

You're coming with me.

Run!

You come with Murlaugh now.

You're one of us.

Not one of those filthy vampires.

Let me go!

Where are we going?

- Hold your breath.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Let's go!

- Not yet!

Don't look behind you.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Are you all right?

Come here!

Breathe.

Right over the plate!

Oh, my God.

- Do you know those guys?

- Are we there yet?

- Almost.

Where are we?

The Cirque's

winter campgrounds.

You'll be safe here if they let you stay.

Try to fit in.

- Come on.

- So all the freaks live here?

Yes.

Don't stare.

It's really...

You want to go to my tent?

You know, we can rehearse in my tent.

I'm not gonna rehearse in your tent.

It'll be great, you know.

You always have fun in my tent.

Wait here for me.

Well, I was thinking about it.

I mean, you're not gonna be

able to do this forever, right?

If you set everything up,

so I can just fill it out.

Neutral. The Cirque

has always remained neutral.

- That's how it has survived

all these years. - You'll still be neutral.

I'm not trying to drag you into anything.

I'm trying to keep myself out of it.

And why exactly do you think

Tiny wants this boy?

I'm not sure yet.

But whenever Mr Tiny wants something,

I make it my policy to try

and keep him from it.

That's a dangerous policy.

Hey, what are you doing?

That's Mr Tall's tent.

Hi, I'm Darren.

What are you doing here?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

You can listen if you want.

- How much does the boy know?

- Nothing.

He's waiting by my tent

if you want to speak with him.

You know, Larten, the thing you might

not realise about children is,

they don't always do what they're told!

Rebecca. Don't you have work

you should be doing?

Yes. Sorry, Mr Tall. It won't happen again.

I mean, I don't eavesdrop on people.

- It was his idea.

- I didn't make you do anything.

Well, you couldn't make me do anything

if you tried.

- Oh, really, huh?

Enough. Rebecca,

I would like you to

take Darren to Evra's tent.

Evra will be his roommate

while he stays with us.

You'll have to work, Darren.

Everybody here pitches in.

That's fine.

I actually worked for my dad's office

a couple of weeks this summer.

I did photocopies, so...

This is on a temporary basis, Larten.

I can't endanger everybody for your sake.

Of course. Thank you.

So, what are you doing here anyway,

with all these freaks?

Why? Do you have a problem with freaks?

No, I mean, they

kind of freak me out, but...

They freak you out. Clever, really clever.

Well, I really have to get back to work.

Harkat can show you the way.

Harkat, take Darren to Evra's tent, please.

Well, you better follow him.

Okay, see you sometime.

No, I saw what you did to my friend

Steve's hand at the theatre, buddy.

Dude, I'm not giving you my hand, okay?

I'm sorry. Here.

Harkat!

You have to stop biting people,

or no one will want to be around you.

You.

Death.

Redemption. Despair.

Triumph. Disaster.

What did I say?

"Death, redemption, despair,

triumph, disaster. "

Well, don't worry about it.

Go ahead, Harkat. Take him to Evra's.

And no more teeth.

You mean, this is it?

Chill in the laundry for a sec.

There you go. Good girl.

Good snake. Love you.

So, I guess we're gonna be roommates.

So how are you f'd up?

- F'd up?

- Freaked up.

- How... What kind of freak are you?

- Oh, I'm not a freak. I'm normal.

- You're normal?

- No. I mean, I'm half vampire,

but I'm completely normal.

You're a half vampire, but you're normal.

I like that.

And don't worry about, like,

if I'm gonna drink your blood or anything.

I'm not gonna drink anyone's blood.

What a relief. Okay,

this isn't awkward at all.

This is your corner of the tent. All right?

You do not cross over

to any other part of the tent,

except to enter and

exit the tent. All right?

And you are never, ever to touch my stuff,

especially this stuff over here.

This is my recording studio.

Oh, cool. Yeah, I...

I actually used to have a drum set,

but, you know, my parents made me

give it away, so...

- Mmm.

- Yeah.

Well, there are no parents here.

Oh...

Yeah. Shedding, itches like crazy.

You should actually go wash

your hand off before you get pink eye.

Did you forget to tell me you were going to

go away for a couple of days? Huh?

I can't believe you're treating

me like this. I've been worried sick.

Why can't you just get a cell phone?

Because vampires don't need cell phones.

"Vampires don't need this,

vampires don't need that. "

I'll tell you what vampires need.

They need to listen.

Didn't I tell you that I had a foreboding?

And what do you do?

You show up here with that kid.

It's been a long night.

I just flitted across two states.

I think I'll just hit the pine early.

No, wait.

You don't love me any more. It's my beard.

You know how I feel about you.

I just don't want to outlive anyone.

It's depressing watching people you care

about grow old while you stay young.

Have you looked at yourself

in the mirror lately?

You're no kid.

Oh, no, no. I'm still angry at you. Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

Your mouth says no,

but your beard says yes.

I can't believe he's gone, man.

- I know. He was like my best friend.

- No, he was my best friend.

- I knew him first.

- So what?

I thought he was a dick.

- What?

- What?

- Dude.

- Oh, my...

Here, get up before one of the teachers

see you. That kid's psycho.

Mr Leonard, what you got for me here?

Finish the quiz already?

Careful.

- Whoa!

The first step is a big one.

Oh, I know.

You miss the one known as Darren.

You feel betrayed, abandoned.

You're a loyal friend,

unlike him.

- Darren was a loyal friend.

- Oh, really?

What if I told you he's still alive?

He's taken your place,

stealing your dreams. Oh, I know.

You dream of killing people,

drinking their blood.

You dream of leading

a great, bloodthirsty army.

Who the hell are you?

- I'm Mr Tiny.

- Are you a vampire?

No, I'm not a vampire. I'm not a Vampaneze.

I'm an aficionado.

I want to see a marvellous war.

What do you want from me, you freak?

I'm not a freak. I despise freaks.

Can a freak travel back and forth

between life and death?

I think not.

Can a freak create new life

from rotting flesh and dead souls?

Please.

Can a freak bring about the apocalypse

and rule the world?

No.

Sadly, neither can I, not without help.

I need a champion.

One of two boys, two dear friends.

And by the way, I love your DNA.

You care for a pancake?

- No, I can't. I'm...

- We know what you are.

You're bad news. That's what.

But nothing I couldn't deal with

in just about two bites.

Don't mind him. He just needs some Ex-Lax.

- Welcome to the Cirque.

- Thank you.

Would you like to eat one of my hands?

I can grow them back.

Yeah, they are delicious.

Hey, Vampelina.

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