City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold

Hi, Curly.

Remember me?

Mitch Robbins?

I was on your last cattle drive.

Remember? We birthed that calf together.

How you been?

I'm sorry.

That's a stupid thing to say, because...

Why get into that? Why depress you?

Anyway...

I think about you a lot.

You changed my whole life.

You were right, cowboy.

'"One thing.'"

'"Just one thing.'"

City folk.

I buried him alive!

Hello?

Yes!

Hi, Mom.

It's September 8, 1952.

We're driving back from Aunt Marsha's,

my water breaks...

your father jumps the divider

of the Saw Mill River Parkway...

and races me to Doctors' Hospital...

and at 5:
16...

out you came.

Happy birthday, darling!

I can't believe you're 40.

I'm overcome. Talk to your father.

- Hi, Dad.

- Hi, boy. Happy birthday.

Thanks. How are you?

I got a cyst on my testicle.

Here's your mother.

Don't worry, he's fine.

So, how does it feel to be 40?

- Actually, Mom, I feel great.

- Why, what's wrong?

Ma, he's fine. He's never been better.

You're there, too? Hi, Barbara.

Well, listen, you two, have a...

Leo, Leo! The dog needs to go out.

Leo! He's impossible.

- I'm gonna have him neutered.

- She means the dog.

Stop that!

I've got to go, he's peeing on the carpet!

She means Dad.

'Bye, Mom.

'Bye, angel birthday boy.

'Bye.

- Happy birthday, honey.

- Thanks.

Oh, boy!

- What a nightmare.

- They're your parents.

No, not them.

I had a nightmare that was...

I don't want to talk about it...

because today is my birthday.

The big 4-0.

And I feel good, I really feel great.

I feel good, yes.

Nurse, today is my birthday.

I'd like to look at the ocean, please.

Thank you.

I'm 40. And you know what?

It's not so terrible.

There's no surprise party, right?

Please, no surprise party?

Abe's wife threw a surprise party,

he walked in, they yelled, '"Surprise! '"...

and he said, '"Bigger surprise:

I'm having a heart attack! '"

Abe Goodman weighed 400 pounds.

Who are you telling, I was a pallbearer.

I had to help carry that camper

he was buried in.

No surprise party.

Just dinner and the movies,

you, me, and the kids...

then both the kids

are going to sleep over at my sister's.

And you and I will have

the whole house to ourselves.

All night long.

That's my present to you.

Can I open my present now?

Tonight.

But, look, the little man

wants to go to the parade.

Save your strength.

You'll need it.

I love it up here.

I'm so glad we moved out of the city.

- 'Morning!

- Good morning!

Work is good.

I'm just not pushing time anymore.

I'm the boss now and I like it.

- 'Morning!

- 'Morning!

Want to turn back? Come on, let's go.

How will you get into a bathing suit?

Look at you, you weigh 800 pounds.

And don't tell me ThighMaster.

You're so out of shape.

I'm 40 and you're 1.

Look at you.

You're like this

big tub of veal or something.

Stay in your lane. Why bump me, Norman?

I saved your life.

If it wasn't for me, you'd be 100 wallets.

Okay, we're back.

I'm Dr. Jeffrey Sanborn.

Emotional pain is as real as physical pain.

Just 'cause you can't see a wound

on an X-ray doesn't mean it isn't there.

Remember, I feel your pain.

If you want to talk to me about anything,

call 555-HELP.

We're on the phone now

with Kenny from New Jersey.

- Kenny? Thanks for waiting.

- That's all right.

Kenny, you said

you get extremely depressed at night.

That's when the clothes in my closet

come alive.

Excuse me?

Well, not really, it's...

Nighttime's when I'm alone

and my mind...

I understand.

I pretend there are friends

who come over...

Are these men's or women's clothes?

No, I don't have women's clothes.

They're men's clothes.

None at all?

Hi. Don't forget.

The sales meeting's in 10 minutes.

I want to talk to you about Phil.

Nobody said anything

when you gave your friend your old job...

though he had no experience

in radio or sales...

- I know.

...because you're the boss.

But you said

you'd let him go two months ago.

I know.

- He's costing the station money.

- It takes a while.

He's in his office now. He's trying his best.

He's been through a tough time.

He's being cleaned out in his divorce.

He's just down.

Then why are you taking him

to the Las Vegas convention?

They'll charge you for excess baggage.

You can't keep putting this off.

Lois, today is my birthday.

Do you know what your present to me is?

Not to talk about this anymore?

Thank you, it's just what I wanted.

We're back with Kenny from New Jersey.

The women you meet, do they say things

to make you feel they don't like you?

It's not anything that they say, it's just...

an overall feeling I get that they're...

What do you get?

Are you there, Kenny?

Are you all right?

Are the clothes in your closet

coming to life?

- What's happening?

- Wrong number.

Speak to me.

Kenny has to go.

He's cooking breakfast for his underwear.

- Who is this?

- I'm a pair of his socks.

You're calling the station psychiatrist

instead of working?

Well, it's free.

Do you know what psychiatry costs?

Anyway, this guy is helping me.

Helping you?

Last year this guy was doing

our traffic reports from a helicopter.

If this doesn't work,

he's going to be the movie critic.

What's going on?

You were doing so much better.

I'm thinking of going back with Arlene.

Are you serious?

I'm not sure she'd take me back,

but maybe...

Think about what you're saying.

Going back to Arlene

is like breaking back into Alcatraz.

You were miserable with Arlene.

Yeah, but I wasn't lonely.

Come home with me tonight.

It's my birthday, we're going out.

- I forgot your birthday!

- Don't worry about it.

Just come with me.

But you can't sleep over...

because Barbara and I...

- You can't.

- That's okay.

Then this weekend we're going to Vegas.

That'll be fun.

Oh, boy, we got a big meeting,

so come on.

Thank God I've got this job

to go to every day or I'd really go crazy.

- Good morning, everybody.

- Good morning.

What's with the champagne?

What are we celebrating?

We're celebrating two things.

First, today happens to be

my 40th birthday.

Secondly, and maybe more importantly,

in a minute George Leyton will call...

to inform us officially that we are

the new New York affiliate...

for the Jerry Jackson Show!

- That show's a gold mine!

- Sure is.

Naturally, I had to clear

the 6:
00 to 10:00 slots.

We're talking scheduling changes,

marketing, promotion and sales.

This is great for our station!

- Call for Mitch, line 1.

- Put it through.

This must be the call.

Put it on the speaker,

I want to share this with everybody.

'Morning. You have good news for me?

Tonight, I will pull down your pants...

sink my hands into your cute little ass...

and give you a tongue bath.

I'm going to start at your feet

and slowly work my way up...

Hello?

New Rochelle.

Phil, we're here.

We're here.

- Look, come here!

- I'm up.

What?

Nothing.

Excuse me. Coming through.

Curly!

I'm sorry...

Who was that?

I thought it was somebody else.

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