City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold Page #7

I've been a sailor for 50 years.

I don't know how to do anything else.

I'd just be lost.

Mitch, I...

I've got to find that gold.

I need that gold.

Guys, come on. Are you all right?

You all right? Come on, wake up.

Guys, we made it! We're alive.

Come on, we did it.

Come on, get up.

All right, now listen.

This is it. This is finished.

We're going back.

Listen, no arguments, Glen.

We'll never survive another night like this.

- You got no argument here. Let's just go.

- Right.

We'd better tell Duke.

Where is he?

You guys pack up, I'll go find him.

Come on.

Duke?

Oh, no.

Not him, too.

What is with this family?

Everybody dies sitting up?

You wouldn't hug us, you big dope!

You thought I was dead, didn't you?

What do you want?

Listen, Duke...

I know what this treasure means to you,

but we're going back.

You mean, back that way?

- Over the buffalo's back?

- What buffalo's back? There isn't any!

There's a buffalo's back down there.

Here, look through this.

Look down there.

We crossed it in the dark

and didn't even know it.

Glen was right.

He was also right about the frozen people.

- How do you know?

- Look down there.

I don't believe it.

That's gold, buddy.

Are you still going to go back?

Give me this. Go get everyone.

Look at them! Guys!

We're going to be rich!

'"Come and get me. Come and get me.'"

This could be it.

There's an entrance to a cave. Come on.

Come on, let's go.

I can't believe it.

- Where's the stuff?

- Get it. Put it down.

Where do we go now?

I'll bet that's what was

on the corner of the map that's missing.

What's the matter, Duke?

Do you see something?

Quiet.

My daddy was in this cave.

- How can you tell?

- I just can.

Sure, like we could always tell

when our dad had been in the bathroom.

There are a lot of passageways.

- Let's split up and each take one.

- Alone?

I'll take this one.

Hey, Mitch...

what if the cave is booby-trapped?

You go down the wrong passageway

and you get your head chopped off?

Or a huge boulder comes rolling at you,

and it crushes your head?

Would you shut up? Stop it!

Why did you have to say

something like that?

Look at this. There's three tunnels.

What do we do now?

Okay, Glen, take the one in the middle.

I'll take this one...

and you take that. Okay?

Will you guys shut up?

Don't do that now.

Come on!

Thank you.

- Find anything?

- No, you?

Yeah, I found you.

- Can you hear something?

- Yeah.

It sounds like a train.

A train?

Hey, look, there's some tracks.

- Is something coming?

- I don't know.

Here's how you tell.

What are you doing?

I'm listening for vibrations.

Yeah, something's coming.

And it's definitely coming

from that direction.

That was Mitch.

Are you okay?

- I'm all right.

- Where are you?

- Follow the tracks.

- I got it.

Hello.

I found it.

I found it.

Guys!

I found the gold.

'"Man, what a gold rush. I found the gold.

'"It's mine, I tell you. It's all my gold.

'"We don't have to show him

no stinking badges. I found the gold! '"

Down here!

- Where is it?

- He found it?

Guys, I found the gold!

Let me see it!

Can I just say one thing?

We're rich!

We did it!

What the hell is going on?

Duke, we found it! We found the gold.

You did?

- Over here, Duke.

- Holy sh*t!

You found the gold? Holy...

Stand back, boys.

It is time for the Walter Huston dance.

- Hey, Duke, no more happy pirate.

- That's right, no more.

You believe this guy?

Last night he wouldn't even hug me!

See how the money makes a difference?

Let's go get the burros

and start loading this stuff up.

Stop right there.

Did you really think

we'd let you take the gold out of here?

- Thanks for doing all the work.

- I don't believe this.

- How the hell did you follow us, Pig-boy?

- Never mind that.

It's our gold now,

and I'm afraid we can't leave witnesses.

Get the gun! Quick!

Mitch!

Glen!

It's better this way, isn't it?

It's better it's me instead of you.

This way Barbara and the kids...

I'm sorry I wasn't a good brother.

No, I'm sorry.

Don't worry, we'll get some help.

Hold on, we'll get some help, you'll see.

Somebody get some help!

Get some help!

It's okay. You always helped me.

You took me to the movies.

It's funny...

it doesn't even hurt.

Glen?

You killed him! You son of a b*tch!

You killed my best friend's brother!

These aren't real bullets. These are blanks.

What?

These are blanks.

Here.

- It's paint!

- What the hell is going on?

- That's funny!

- Yeah, real funny.

Hey, who's down there?

What in the name of John Wayne's ass

is going on in here?

Clay Stone? From the cattle drive?

I remember you two. What are you doing?

Great buckets of bullshit!

It's Curly, come back to life.

I'm not Curly, I'm his brother, Duke.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Clay Stone.

Hell, I've been looking for you for months.

- What did you do to my boys?

- Your boys?

- What happened? We heard shots.

- Is everybody all right?

Ira and Barry Shalowitz?

Mitch? Phil?

What are you doing here?

Oh, God, it's Curly!

He's come back from the dead.

He looks great.

It's Duke, Curly's brother.

Will somebody please...

tell me what the hell is going on here?

- Didn't Curly tell you?

- No!

Hell, it was his idea.

We take folks

on a real Western treasure hunt.

Follow right in the steps

of the old Washburn gang.

Yeah, we get these maps,

and we follow these clues...

It's been exciting.

It's been great.

Better than those cattle drives. Yes, sir-ee.

More fun. You don't have

to watch where you step.

Yeah, but we actually found it.

Yes, and it belongs to us.

What, that?

Everybody finds that.

Hell, that's just lead painted with gold.

Just to make it a little bit more fun.

Take a look for yourself.

Then, to give it extra goose...

the boys come in, pretend to rob them...

and shoot them with paint pellets.

Scares the Evian out of them.

Then there's no real treasure?

Curly came up here a lot of times,

but he never found anything.

But he wrote to me,

said we were going to be rich.

I don't know about being rich,

but you make a damn good living.

He wanted to cut you in for a piece.

As far as I'm concerned,

you can have his share.

That's what he meant?

I believe so.

You boys came up here

thinking that this was real?

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Un-by-God-believable!

- Ready?

- I'm wound.

I got it.

We're Barry and Ira Shalowitz.

We helped bury your brother.

Maybe someday I can do the same for you.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

You start a conversation with,

'"We buried your brother'"?

- I was flustered.

- It's impolite.

Come on, let's get a cold beverage and...

- Going somewhere?

- No.

I'll take Clay's sons down

and show them where we left our horses.

We'll help you.

I can do it.

You guys got to go to Las Vegas.

I don't got to go nowhere.

What are you going to do, Duke?

Work for Clay Stone?

Come up here every week

and find a fake treasure? No, thanks.

So what will you do?

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