Clint, 'The Rookie' & Me

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At ease.

Your name?

David Ackerman.

- How long have you been on the force?

- Two years, sir.

- Speak up, Ackerman.

- Sir, two years.

You applied for detective

in Burglary, Auto Theft division.

Most of the young hotshots were

lining up for Robbery or Homicide.

Sir, I figured there would be more

openings in Burglary, Auto Theft...

...and I love chasing G-rides, sir.

- G-rides, Ackerman?

I'm sorry, sir.

Grand-theft auto.

Tell me something, Ackerman.

Why do you want to be

on the police force?

Because I want to help people, sir.

That's a lie, isn't it?

- Do you have any siblings, officer?

- No.

That's another lie, isn't it?

Jump, Joey, jump!

- You had a brother, didn't you?

- Jump, Joey, jump!

L... I was...

I was just a kid.

- Jump!

- You murdered your own brother.

It wasn't my fault.

Come on, jump.

Jump!

Come on, Joey.

Jump it!

David!

- You murdered your own brother.

- You murdered your brother.

You murdered your own brother.

David, are you okay?

- What's the matter?

- Nothing.

I'm a little tense

about the exam tomorrow.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

All right.

Welcome aboard.

Good job. Go on.

Get out of here.

Thanks.

- Let's get rolling, man.

- Why the hell not?

You got a light?

There must be 100 good reasons

why you shouldn't smoke those things.

But right now,

I can't think of one.

Damn.

Feast your eyes on that.

Yeah, a real classic.

They don't make them

like that anymore.

Man, you got tachometers for eyes.

I was talking about the babe.

So was I.

- Morales is two minutes late.

- We're out of here.

You shouldn't be getting

your hands dirty, angel blanco.

What, and miss out

on all the fun?

- You're late, maricon.

- Not by my watch.

- Get yourself a better one, Loco.

- Go on. Get the hell out of here.

Come on. Let's go!

Let's wrap this thing up.

After all these months

of working on this deal...

- Let's get moving, man.

- Take it easy.

Another couple of minutes

ain't gonna to kill you.

Police officers!

Get your hands up! Up!

A little early for Christmas shopping,

ain't it?

- Who's up front in the cab?

- Santa Claus.

And I'm the tooth fairy.

Try again.

No one, man.

There's nobody here but us.

Nobody here, Nick!

Surprise.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, man.

Motherf***er.

Son of a b*tch.

Motherf***er.

Jesus Christ!

Who is this insane motherf***er?

Later, you f***er!

- Is he all right?

- Anybody else in there?

Anybody else in the car?

- You need any help?

- You got a light?

- Powell was a good man. Tough break.

- Yeah.

Good to see you

back on your feet.

Hey, Nick. Sorry to hear

about Powell, man.

- Ray.

- Nick, good to see you up and around.

I've looked at the files.

Both those guys on the trailer are in it.

That one fella, Ken Blackwell,

an ex-CIA pilot that's gone sour...

...has about 300 drug flights

across the border.

And Loco Martinez has eight counts

of grand-theft auto.

Shut up, Nick. You don't waste any time

on polite conversation, do you, Nick?

That's what I like about you.

Either way, it don't matter anymore.

- What don't matter?

- The Strom case.

Because you're being taken off it.

Homicide's taking over.

Homicide?

You know the only way to get to Strom

is to pin him to chop-shop operations.

But Homicide's just gonna...

Look, kid. This is a private

conversation here.

- Nick, this is David Ackerman.

- Hello, David. Pleasure meeting you.

- Nick, that was your new partner.

- You're kidding me.

Let him back in, Nick, now.

Don't mind Pulovski. He's an a**hole,

but you'll get used to him after a while.

- Flattery will get you nowhere.

- Listen, Nick.

I went over Ackerman's test scores

and records. The kid's perfect.

Then how come his badge

is on upside down?

Kid, it looks like you forgot to dry off

behind your ears this morning.

Nick, be gentle.

Some of these virgins cry rivers.

You've met Cheech and Chong.

- What the hell's going on?

- You'll find out as we go.

You mind letting me in

from the dark here?

The Jesse James look is out.

Why don't you holster that thing.

In fact, why don't you

get a shoulder holster.

You don't want to

go around halfcocked.

Another thing, kid.

You gotta change the way you dress.

You look like an old f***.

After all, we're working undercover.

You gotta dress youthful and hip.

Wear what you usually wear.

This is what I usually wear.

Do you have a reservation?

I see. Right this way,

gentlemen.

- So that's what those things are for.

- I never go to lunch without it.

- I wonder why you're not covering me.

- My people are cool, man.

Don't I know you

from somewhere?

I'm sure you're mistaking me

for someone else.

Well, there's no mistaking this German

beer. It leaves a little aftertaste.

- What the hell is that all about?

- Just a man with a poor taste in beers.

Hey, garon, you got a light?

I'm sorry, sir.

No smoking here.

Mr. Ackerman? It's been so long.

I almost didn't recognize you.

- How are you, George?

- Fine. This is a surprise.

I will get you an ashtray.

What's the deal here?

You used to work here or something?

Not exactly.

You'll find out as we go.

Don't jerk me off, Strom.

I don't like it.

You got problems? Fine,

but my people want their money.

I don't get it for them, then

I got f***ing problems, capisce?

I just lost a major payload,

but my principal shops are still running.

By next Friday,

you'll have your money.

Well, you're so popular around here,

why don't you order for both of us.

- Do you want the best?

- Why not?

Oysters Rockefeller

and prime rib.

And we'll have a bottle of that

fancy French champagne too.

No, forget it.

I don't know if you're who

I think you are, but if you are...

...I want you to have this.

- Excuse me, sir. What about your meal?

- They'll eat it.

- You ever worked East L.A. Before, kid?

- I've never been to East L.A.

Jesus, I wondered who

ate these damn things.

Listen.

At the hotel this morning...

We obviously weren't there for lunch.

Who was that guy?

Just a guy I ran into the other day.

How'd you know

he was going to be there?

- Because that's my job.

Well, that's great, you know.

I'm supposed to be your partner here.

What about my job?

What about it?

Want to know what a real criminal is,

Ackerman?

It's the son of a b*tch

who painted this car, that's who.

Yeah, that's what a real criminal is.

- Pulovski.

- Max.

What are you doing here?

Can you imagine defacing a work of art

like this with a color like that?

Guy ought to have

his ass removed.

I only been working here three weeks.

I don't need no trouble.

Did you hear what that puto

said about my car?

Put it back in your pants, Loco.

With the taste you beaners have,

he was being kind.

Son of a b*tch!

I hear you been running

with a pretty fast crowd, Max.

I just dropped by to remind you

how short your legs really are.

Hey, I have not let you down.

I've been clean for over a year, so why

don't you stop looking over my shoulder.

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