Conan O'Brien Can't Stop Page #10

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tables stowed, items stowed,

electronic devices turned off and stowed.

Cabin's pressurized

for your comfort.

If there's a change of pressure,

masks will drop.

If they ever do drop, just pull

so that piece is engaged

and put that mask

over your nose and mouth.

Two fire extinguishers on board.

They're both up front.

One's behind the captain

on the bulkhead,

and the other's

by that main cabin door...

Which part's the bulkhead?

Okay. Thank you very much.

I introduced Nas. What's that?

Damian Marley. Okay.

I introduced them both.

I know Nas.

All right.

Thank you.

Nom, nom, nom.

Okay-

Oh, my God.

- Oh, come on.

- I know Nas.

I introduced Damian Marley and Nas.

Hey, did you guys see me

introduce Damian Marley and Nas?

Gus, did you see that?

Hey, Jeff?

Did you know that I introduced

Damian Marley and Nas?

- I did know.

- Okay.

- Hey, Andy?

- What?

Did you know that I introduced

Damian Marley and Nas?

- Yeah, I did. I heard that.

- Okay, cool.

That's awesome for you.

I just can't wait to get

on the road again

Wa-ooh

The life I love

is making music with my friends

I can't wait to get

on the road again

My own show again

I just can't wait to get

my own show again

Wa-ooh

I'd even take a crappy

primetime show at 10:00

On the road again

The kind with makeup,

lights, and cameramen

On the road again

'Cause I'd really like

to talk to Megan Fox again

Megan Fox again

Wow, there's a traffic jam.

We got to get out and walk.

I'm ready.

It's been a long day.

Oh, hi. Is this Nas?

Hey, it's Conan.

- I'm cool.

- "I'm cool."

- I'm glad you liked it.

- Dude, what'd he ask?

Are you cool or are you uncool?

So, Conan,

who's your hip-hop heroes?

- Well, I guess it would be Nas.

- Yeah.

And if it was reggae,

it would be Damian Marley.

Yeah.

I should probably go pretty soon.

- But anyway...

- All right.

Well, keep it hip-hop,

then, Conan.

Listen, I'll tell you

something, my friend.

A-rap-rap ribbety-rap,

a-rap-rap rabbity rat.

I said, rap-rap ribbety-rap, rap-rap.

I said, a-rap-rap ribbety-rap.

It's got to stop, you know, 'cause

it's... it's very Peter Pan, you know?

It's very, "I'll never grow up,"

you know what I mean?

I'll just jump around

in the Eddie Murphy "Raw" suit forever.

This is the most satisfying thing

I've ever done in show business.

And I've been in show business

since 1985,

and this is the purest hit

of excitement and adrenaline

and everything that I love

about show business, but...

One can see the sickness of it, too.

If I was away all the time...

I mean, I haven't seen my kids in...

It's this weird problem

where I absolutely love this

and I also understand that

this needs to stop pretty soon.

I pulled into Nazareth

I was feelin'

about half past dead

I just need someplace

Where I can lay my head

"Hey, mister, can you tell me

where a man might find a bed?"

He just grinned

and shook my hand

And "No" was all he said

Take a load off, Annie

Take a load for free

Take a load off, Annie

And

You put the load,

put the load right on me

It's a really exhilarating, therapeutic, ecstatic,

crazy thing to do for any period of time.

There's, like, an elation

to this, you know,

which is coming out of

the utter despair of what happened.

Good night, everybody!

- Congratulations.

- Yeah, you, too.

- Thanks for doing this with me.

- Just doing what you love.

- Thank you for asking me.

- Oh, Jesus Christ, are you kidding?

It's been the best... uh, the best

summer camp I've ever been to.

I know. It was crazy.

I don't know what this was

that just happened.

This is a special thing.

It's chocolate cake.

You don't want to make it

every meal, you know?

Hey, you eat chocolate cake every meal.

Yeah.

You did...

you did a great, great job.

So did you.

You did a great job.

You should be very proud.

You did great.

You really helped me.

See that? I'm crying.

Does it look like I'm crying?

My whole career has been

trying to get closer and closer and closer

to the real gritty core of show business.

You know, I used to have these gigs

where I was in a bungalow with...

thinking of concepts.

I kept thinking, "This isn't it, this

isn't it, this isn't it, this isn't it."

"Saturday Night Live"

felt much closer.

"The Late Night Show"

felt much closer

'cause there's people

in the hallway in horse costumes.

This thing... anyone who knows me

who watches this says,

"Now that's just raw you."

Whoo!

Conan!

I need to go home and, like, drive my kids

to school, do you know what I mean?

Or have my agent

drive them to school.

Runnin' to-and-fro,

hard workin' at the mill

Never fail in the mail,

yeah, come a rotten bill

Too much monkey business,

too much monkey business

Too much monkey business

for me to be involved in

Salesman talkin' to me,

tryin' to run me up a creek

Say, "You can buy, Go on an' try it,

you can pay me next week, baby"

Too much monkey business,

too much monkey business

Too much monkey business

for me to be involved in

Blond hair, good lookin',

tryin' to get me hooked

Want me to marry, settle down,

and write a book, baby

Too much monkey business,

too much monkey business

Too much monkey business

for me to be involved in

Same thing every day,

gettin' up, goin' to school

No need of me to complainin',

my objections overruled, baby

Too much monkey business,

too much monkey business

Too much monkey business

for me to be involved in

Pay phone, somethin' wrong,

dime gone, will mail

Ought to sue the operator

for tellin' me a tale, baby

Too much monkey business,

too much monkey business

Too much monkey business...

Come on, baby, go, go!

Been to Yokohama

and I've been fightin' in the war

Army bunk, Army chow,

Army clothes, Army car, baby

Too much monkey business,

too much monkey business

Don't need your botheration,

leave me here

Don't need your botheration,

leave me

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