Coogan's Bluff Page #3

And the deer and

the antelope play

Well, well, looky here.

Coogan.

Hey, Linny, say hello to the

fuzz that busted me in Arizona.

Yeah. Man-burger.

Did you come to take

me back, cowboy? Huh?

This cat's got wild vibes.

Hey, man, she's pickin' up

on your vibrations.

You wanna know the thing about me?

I got this little

green worm in my head.

And it glows in the dark.

That's the thing about me.

- I'm Coogan.

- Yes, Rollins told me.

Apparently there's been a mix-up.

- Can he travel?

- How soon were you planning to leave?

I was trying to make a helicopter

in 45 minutes at Pan Am.

- I'd hate to miss that connection.

- Yes, I understand, but...

there's always danger of residual

psychotic reaction to LSD.

He can be trouble.

So can I.

- You travelling alone?

- Just one of him and one of me.

All right, I'll release him.

Put your clothes on, Ringerman.

You're going on another trip.

Give Pushie my regards, huh?

OK?

- OK.

- Yeah.

Does more for me

than a kilo of grass, huh?

Put your pants on, boy.

Will all passengers kindly

proceed to the boarding area. Thank you.

Call for passenger Coogan

on housephone 1G.

- Where are the housephones?

- Back there, sir.

- Coogan here.

- Wrong number.

- Yeah, crazy baby.

- Kill him, Jimmy. Kill him, Jimmy.

Not here! Let's blow!

Green pants, hm?

Green corduroy.

Had a red sweater.

He had a face?

I told you, he was behind me.

Beautiful.

Look, I was on my back

and that's all I saw.

All right. From the top,

let's start again.

From where you bluffed your way

into Ringerman's hospital room.

I haven't left anything out.

- Thing is, I don't know that for sure.

- I told you.

Come back in the morning.

The patient's in need of rest.

- Just a couple more minutes, Doctor.

- All right.

Look, yesterday we had

a prisoner in custody.

Today we've got a fugitive wandering

around with your gun in his pocket.

- Think about it.

- I have been.

We need your cooperation.

What you remember on the plane home

won't help us get Ringerman right now.

I'm not leaving

without that prisoner.

Didn't that whack on the head

teach you anything?

You're in a whole... another kind of

ball game. You're out of your league.

We've got 28,000 cops in the city.

Leave Ringerman to us.

Well, it's gettin' personal now.

Yeah, a man's gotta do

what a man's gotta do.

That it, Wyatt?

That's one way of puttin' it,

Lieutenant.

Well, here's another: forget it.

Understand? That's

not just me talking.

This is from the district

attorney's office.

You are not a policeman in the city

of New York. Am I getting through?

- I still carry a badge.

- In Arizona you're a deputy sheriff!

Here you're just another private

citizen... with a headache.

- I'll be back tomorrow.

- Yeah, you do that.

What do you want?

- Ringerman?

- There's no such person here.

- Police. Open up.

- I gotta see a warrant.

All right!

Will ya wait a minute?!

Upstairs, 25.

Outta the way.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah?

So it's the cops.

Well, let 'em come.

Well, well, well!

What have we got here?

Buffalo Bill with the fancy hat!

And look!

Boots with the pointy toes.

Very fancy.

I'm not impressed.

You Mrs Ringerman?

Come in. Come in, Mr Cowboy.

I got nothin' to hide. I'm not

even asking for a search warrant

cos I got nothin' whatsoever

to hide from nobody.

Welcome to my palace.

Course, the prince just

happens to be out,

but that's cos the police

are just hounding him.

Well, you're very polite,

with your fancy hat in your hand.

At least you know how

to enter a lady's home, anyway.

Where is he, Mrs Ringerman?

You outta your head? I should tell

you so you take him back to jail?

You're talkin' to his mother.

Let me show you somethin'.

Just look what I got in here.

Look at this.

Genuine sterling

silver dinnerware.

My son gave it to me.

And look at this.

Hand-painted imported oil painting.

Gifts! Gifts from a

son to his mother.

And look.

How many mothers do you know...

Just look at this.

A fur coat he got for me.

- How?

- How? He went to the store.

Was it open for business?

You try to be nice.

So what do you get?

Fancy remarks.

Maybe you've been here

long enough, Mr Cowboy.

Look, Mrs Ringerman, I just

wanna take him back for trial.

Oh, yeah?

I don't usually make

no deals with cops.

Be smart if you did.

Smart? Smartness is one thing.

Motherhood's another.

Motherhood?

That's what you're talkin' to,

Mr Cowboy:
motherhood.

- He does all right, doesn't he?

- 24 hours, the phone never stops.

- A nice motorcycle.

- Bought and paid for with his own money.

You wanna see his owner's licence?

No.

- Pretty.

- Yeah. Linny Raven. That's her name.

A certified ding-dong.

Raven, huh?

OK, Mrs Ringerman.

Thank you for the visit.

Is that all?

Hey, wait a minute! You think you

can come in here, write down a name

and put on that fancy

hat and just go?

You know what you are?

Fancy.

You smart-ass cowboy cop!

I hope you break both legs!

- What's goin' on here?

- You're under arrest.

- What's the charge?

- Impersonating an officer.

I wake up stinkin' like a goat.

No bath.

Couldn't even take a shave.

Cockroaches.

- And now because of you, for what?

- You've met Sergeant Wallace.

Do you know what it means when

you've got a stakeout established

and some rockhead walks in

and blows it... Oh, damn!

Where do you come off, anyway?

This isn't the OK

Corral around here.

This is the city of New York!

We've got a system!

Not much, but we're fond of it.

We don't like it when a two-for-a-nickel

cowboy tries to bend it out of shape.

Are you chargin' me or what?

You blew a stakeout!

It involved a lot of time and trouble

and discomfort for Sergeant Wallace.

You thought Ringerman'd go there?

- It has happened.

- Not with him it wouldn't.

Where does it say you're

an expert on Ringerman?

I tracked him down for eight days. You

learn a lot about a person hunting him.

- Like what?

- Like that he's not a fool, that's what.

Then how in the hell

did "you" collar him?

If you'd asked us about Mrs Ringerman,

we'd have told you she's a nut!

There's no point in

going up there to see her.

I wanted her out so I

could look the place over.

- She wasn't going anyplace.

- There's a good chance she would have.

Why?

The same way an animal leaves a nest

in another direction... to throw you off.

Well, what do you know!

Woodcraft!

It's the one merit badge I missed.

That's too bad.

You might have learned something.

About what?

About animals. People. They don't act

much different when you're hunting 'em.

Hold it.

This came for you.

Which makes it unanimous.

I took the liberty.

You're on flight number 73, TWA.

Leaves at 4.15pm.

They'd like you there

a half-hour earlier.

I'll think about that.

Coogan.

I'm through messin'

around with you.

Obstructing justice is a

one-to-five felony. Forget Ringerman.

If I even suspect you're nosin'

around between now and plane time,

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