Coogan's Bluff Page #4

I'll throw you in the can so fast,

it'll make your nose bleed!

- What happened in there?

- Nothin' much.

Didn't you get taken off

the Ringerman case?

News travels fast

around here, doesn't it?

I was in the room

when McElroy called Arizona.

Yeah, old Sheriff McCrea must have

really enjoyed that phone call.

He doesn't like you?

Oh, he likes me some of the time.

- Most of the time not.

- Why?

He looks at me, he sees a man

who's gonna take his job some day.

I believe it.

There's the Cloisters.

Would you like to go through it?

"No, thank you, Julie.

Some other time."

I'm trying to picture

it the way it was.

Just the trees and the river, before

people came along and fouled it all up.

Thinking "He's out there

somewhere"... Ringerman, your prey?

- Right.

- Mm-hm.

Can I tell you something else?

McElroy wasn't just kidding.

He said he'd throw you in jail

and he meant it.

Well, he's just trying to protect you.

Can't you see that?

That's Ringerman's home court out there

and you don't even know the rules.

So...

do yourself a favour and...

stop thinking about him.

- I wasn't.

- Oh? What, then?

Worms.

Little green kind of ones

that glow in the dark.

- Green worms?

- Yeah. Green.

You are so enigmatic.

Enig... what?

It's a word that

keeps coming to mind.

Except it's a phoney.

It is, huh?

There has to be something

more to you besides...

What?

I dunno. Love. Compassion.

Humanity. Capacity for pity.

- Pity?

- Mm. You must have heard of it.

Yeah. What colour is it?

It's no colour!

See? You don't know

what you're talkin' about.

I don't know what "you're"

talking about, that's for sure.

Well, the colour of pity is red.

- Really? Hm.

- Oh, I've seen some once.

- Where?

- It doesn't make any difference.

Oh, I give up on you.

I'm looking for a key.

Lots of luck.

I can't even find the door.

Well...

It was a bus station

in Prescott, Arizona.

It was all over the floor, pity.

This guy felt sorry for a

prisoner he was takin' in.

He let him say

goodbye to his wife.

He ended up with

a six-inch blade in his gut.

The wife had it up her sleeve.

So much for pity.

Who was it?

Aren't we gonna have a spaghetti

dinner, or was that just talk?

It was you, wasn't it?

I'm really ready for spaghetti.

OK. And thank you.

For what?

Just... thank you.

I'll say this. Once you find

a subject that interests you,

you certainly keep after it.

Why not?

I think we better

change the subject.

All righty.

Do you know a girl

named Linny Raven?

Yes, I'm her probation

officer. Why?

I'm just curious, that's all.

That's privileged information,

Coogan. You know that.

You were the one who

wanted to change the subject.

Tell me about Arizona.

Why don't you come

see for yourself?

- Is that an invitation?

- Now, what's it sound like?

Here, I'll give you a hand.

- I just got a picture of that.

- What?

Me galloping up to the old

corral with my sleeping bag.

You might be surprised.

Hm?

At what?

At Arizona.

It's part of the Union now.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Electricity, indoor plumbing, TV...

all that.

You wouldn't even have to bring a

sleeping bag. I got all the conveniences.

And girls?

Yeah, you might see a stray

one of those floatin' around.

I mean you. Girlfriends.

I never took a census. Why?

I don't know. I just judged you

to be rather busy in that area.

- You did?

- Mm.

- How about you with men?

- I don't need a census. I can count them.

You can?

How did we get back

on this subject?

It wasn't easy. Just fate.

- I think you may be right.

- Usually am.

- Are you?

- Mm-hm.

Dinner.

Still running?

A good spaghetti sauce should

simmer for about three hours.

Mmm.

Mm.

You know, if you have one decent

spark in your whole body, you'd...

Coogan?

I say love is a

pigeon-toed orange peel

Pigeon-toed orange peel

No more, no less

A pigeon-toed orange peel

Pigeon-toed orange peel

And it's real, love is real

Pigeon-toed orange peel

No more, no less

Pigeon-toed orange peel

And it's real, love is real

I say love is a

pigeon-toed orange peel

A pigeon-toed orange peel

No more, no less

A pigeon-toed orange peel

Hey, Groovy! Groovy!

Hey, Groovy! You in the hat!

Hey, hey, big man!

Ooooh!

Ooh, looking for anyone special?

Linny Raven. Is she around?

If you're willing to

settle for second best.

Nirvana City, back room.

I say love is a

pigeon-toed orange peel

A pigeon-toed orange peel

No more, no less

A pigeon-toed orange peel

Pigeon-toed orange peel

And it's real, love is real

Are you lookin' straight at me

to see a sign of love?

Are you lookin' straight at me

to hear a line of love?

Are you reachin' out to me

to see if lovin' has a feel?

Do you know the answer to

the question "Is love real?"

I say love is a

pigeon-toed orange peel...

There you go, baby.

- Linny.

- Who is your friend?

This is Wonderful Digby

and this is Omega.

I'm Coogan. Been lookin' for you.

Yeah, wild.

But we were just about to split.

Um...

- I wanna talk to you.

- Hey, Charlie.

Coogan.

Coogan.

112 Ellwood Street.

Way up on the top.

Yeah, I was already up there.

They told me you were down here.

Well, try again.

And wear your boots, cowboy.

- I'm wearin' 'em right now.

- So you are.

Hey, Charlie.

- It's still Coogan.

- It's Charlie.

As in "Goodbye, Charlie."

As in "Ladybug, ladybug,

fly away home."

Look, friends. We wanna be alone.

- Uh-uh. Go away, Charlie.

- Yeah, while your legs still work.

All right, now. I don't like violence,

Mr Wonderful... whatever your name is.

You better drop that blade or you

won't believe what happens next,

even while it's happenin'.

The blade.

It's dropped.

Would you have?

Would I have what?

With the broken bottle?

Gouged him?

Hm?

I don't know. That was up to him.

Good heavens!

How's everything in Australia?

What do you want? Hm?

Cat got your tongue?

No.

Joe Straight.

What's your bag, Joe?

Music? Hm?

No?

Grass, hm?

Dig grass? Hm?

Juice. Hm?

A drinking man.

Occasionally.

Why me, Mr Cowboy?

Cos I liked what

I saw in the hospital.

So did I.

It's what happened afterwards

that I didn't care for too much.

What are you talking about?

Something about getting sapped on

the head has a weird effect on me.

- What's sapped?

- You know.

Mm-mm.

Liar.

- I'd never lie to cowboys.

- You wouldn't, huh?

Do me a favour.

Tell me where Ringerman is.

I just wanna talk to him.

- You want Jimmy?

- Mm-hm.

I know where he is.

Later.

Come on, shoot.

You gonna take all night?

Ha-ha! Great shot!

He's looking for Jimmy Ringerman.

Pushie. He hasn't got a gun.

Looking for Jimbo, eh?

Yeah.

You lost?

Shouldn't leave your horse, cowboy.

Cool it, cool it.

Come on, come on.

Let's get out of here.

Where's Ringerman?

You bastard.

Have you any idea

of the damage you've done?

I'm talking about Linny Raven.

I just got her out of jail.

She was picked up near that pool room.

Do you know what that means?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes