Cover Girl

The show must go on

The show must go on

To answer all the clamour

For oomph and glamour and so on

To captivate Tom, Dick and Harry

Each Matilda, Kay and Carrie

Cleopatra and DuBarry

Puts her show on

Way back in history

Old Adam didn't give a care

There was no mystery

A rag, a bone, a hank of hair

But since humanity

Discovered vanity

We only know the show must go on

We only know the show must go on

This clever lyrical endeav our

Could probably go on forever

But all we're saying is what you know

That glamour is a woman's show

The show most people lik e to view

Is evident in burlesque

That show must go on

The show must go on

The show must go on

To answer all the clamour

For oomph and glamour and so on

But since humanity

Discovered vanity

We only know the show must go on

But the show we show

Is different because

We don't depend on this

Nor this for applause

That sort of thing

We scornfully dismiss

For

This

We only know the show must go on!

Hey, Genius!

Coming.

Oh, those poor people.

The entertainment can start.

The Genius is here.

Don't let the customers hear. The house

can be emptied in three minutes.

Listen, kids.

That number's still ragged. On your

entrance, keep your heads down.

- Our mothers told us not to do it.

- You can't teach old daughters new tricks.

We'll see if I can

at 9:
00 tomorrow morning.

Rehearsals are at 10.

Go on, you got five minutes

to make your change.

Those little dames can sure gripe.

The bigger the gripe,

the better the army, Jim.

- And there is a great army.

- You're not kidding.

Well, I just won't show up.

I have an appointment at 9:00,

and I'll keep it.

It's my chance to get out of here

and into the big time.

- What big time?

- The big time has nothing to do with 9:00.

- You got a line on a job, Maurine?

- You bet I have.

It has nothing to do with 9:00 either,

or 10:
00.

You can sleep all day.

- I've never heard of a job like that.

- No? Here, look for yourself.

Not that I think I'm the most

beautiful girl in the world...

...but I think I can at least try.

"Vanity's Golden Wedding Girl.

Fame and fortune await the girl...

...on the cover

of Vanity's 50th anniversary number.

Who will she be? She could be you."

How could getting your face on

a magazine get you into the big time?

A cover girl's face can unlock

any door.

- I've got a face. I'll use it.

- I don't understand.

If you can do better,

why should Mr. McGuire object?

The McGuire slogan is to get there

on your feet, not your face.

Can you imagine me asking him?

My name is Rusty Parker.

Parker.

Could I see Mr. Coudair

about the Vanity cover?

Miss Jackson, Mr. Coudair's assistant,

does interviews. She'll try to see you.

Thank you.

What on earth are you doing here?

Oh, same thing you are, I guess.

You shouldn't be

such a good salesman.

Does Danny know you came?

Well, I didn't tell him,

if that's what you mean.

He's gonna be sore at me. But you...

...egads, he'll cut you up

in little pieces.

Well, he doesn't have to know.

Does he, Maurine?

No, of course not.

Save it, kitties. Don't waste it on me.

That redhead isn't bad.

No, she isn't.

All right, Marion, let the bars down.

Carry on, Colby.

Maurine Martin, please.

Egads, wish me luck.

That girl has a really lovely figure...

...if she knew how to walk.

Ever done any modelling?

No, but all you have to do is keep still,

isn't it?

That always helps.

Does it matter I've never modelled?

No, in this case, we prefer it.

Now sit down and stand up

again several times.

I mean stand.

You're a very pretty girl,

little on the brash side, however.

Our girl has to be quiet and demure.

After all, the cover is a bride.

Who's the girl with you,

the one with the red hair?

Oh, she works in the same joint...

I mean, the same nightclub

in Brooklyn I do.

Danny McGuire's. Why?

She's pretty.

Now smile directly at me.

And she looks relaxed.

If only you gals could realise how

important it is to be quiet and relaxed.

Nice teeth.

Keep your nightlife down and

your hopes up. You may hear from us.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

B.J. Graham.

Are my seams straight?

They're all right, darling.

Don't make the mistakes I made.

Keep talking and move around a lot.

Be animated.

That's what they're after. Even if you

overdo it, be animated.

Don't relax for a minute.

Don't let her know you're new.

Say anything, but impress it on her

you've modelled before.

- But I haven't.

- Rusty Parker.

Don't forget. Be animated.

Hello! How do you do?

My name is Rusty Parker.

And you're Miss Jackson.

I've heard so much about you.

I suppose you've noticed

I'm so full of animation...

...it's impossible for me to sit still.

My grandmother said it's because

my glands worked right.

I suppose you'd like to know

about my experience.

I've done so much,

all kinds of things.

I've been on more bottles...

Cold cures are my specialty.

You know, sneezes and animated stuff,

things like that.

I have some photographs here...

I'd rather you wouldn't take them out.

I don't feel up to capturing them

if they get loose.

I think there's something you can take.

I'd find out about it.

Take? For what?

Those glands. They're going to turn

on you one of these days.

But why can't I be

the Golden Wedding Girl, Mr. Coudair?

Your face is familiar to everyone

who picks up a magazine.

- I want a new face.

- I don't blame you. So do I.

What is a new face anyway? I hear

about them, but I've never seen one.

All right, Mr. Coudair.

But I don't know how a bride can be

new and experienced at the same time.

- May I come in?

- It won't do you any good.

Your face isn't new enough.

Fine thing!

I saw the Golden Wedding Dress.

It's a dream. Don't you love it?

For now, there's nothing

about this contest I love. It's beautiful.

If you got me a dress like that,

I'd marry anybody.

Then I'll be very careful not to, Jinx.

We need you in our business.

Stonewall, there's the layout.

The dress is ready. There's

the deadline. Where's the face?

I have brought you 10,000 batches

of photographs by slow count.

Colby and I have been looking too.

You're very hard to please.

- You don't know what you want.

- I know exactly what I want.

- I want a girl with a story in her eyes.

- Drawing room or smoking room?

What does a young girl think about

when she's going down the aisle?

That's the look I want...

...that young, wondering, misty look.

Well, now we have a clue, Jinx.

She must be misty.

I can find you a lot of foggy ones.

Thanks for helping us, Jinx.

Somebody helped me to get started,

didn't they? Bye.

John, I'm desperate.

There isn't a thing that Harry Conover

hasn't made well-known...

...except this one. She's at least new.

We've got to choose somebody.

Very pretty girl.

Let me go take a look at her.

This mania you have for peering at

these creatures in their native haunts...

I should know after all these

years I can't change you.

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